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i think if people know that your space is limited, you are fine with just inviting the boss partner and their spouses. just be honest saying you wished you could invite them all but due to limitations of the venue you had to draw a line.
We're having the same issue! We work together, and so many of our coworkers are like family to us... it really hurts to realize that we can't invite everyone, both because of budget and because we know some that will be a little bit catty about it and request off working that day at the expense of other people that we would rather have there.
Now, a follow up question would be, if I let them know that, and if I get cancellations from my other invites (there is a good chance old boss and his wife won't come, as my wedding is on Yom Kippur and they are observant Jews [my current boss is also Jewish, but only culturally]) should I extend an invitation then to the other co workers, or just leave it be.
if they ask about it you can let them know that there are some distant members of your family that you are obligated to ask, and if they are open to it, that if those members do not come, they will open up space and at that time it would allow for a few more spaces. That way if they are okay with that then they can let you know ahead of time...?
I am doing that for my plus one situation - where no one is getting a plus one unless they are married, engaged, long term relationship (living together). i let folks know that if there are cancellations i will notify them and they can then bring a date...everyone is fine with that. they understand i have size limitations with my venue!
There are 9 employees at my office and I just couldn't make inviting 18 extra people work so I've invited everyone without dates. Maybe that could be an option for you?
@toothfairy, well, I would, except the people who would get dates, are those who are married. Boss and Partner's wives both have roles in the company too. So I dont' think that is a viable option :(
How much do you interact with the other assistant and associates?
Id be a bit upset to know I was on the back up guest list. Could you not invite anyone you work with til you hear back and see how many spots you have, then invite the boss, partner, and see if you have any other spots.
I work in a small law firm, 2 partners, 2 assistants and 4 associates. I invited no one. I felt that I had great working relationships with these people, but not enough to invite them.
I also decided it would be an all or nothing so in this case I chose nothing.
I think you should stick to old friends from other jobs that you are still close to. There is really no point to invite new co-workers if your not great friends with them.
Look at it this way. In ten years if Mary from the real estate firm didn't come to my wedding and i'm still friends with her, but john my boss from an office I just started working at came and I no longer have contact with him. Which am I likely to remember or be upset by.
Understandble that that is a sticky situation. I did something similar to what you would like to do (just inviting two people from work)...but I moved after our wedding and started a new job...So I wasn't as worried about work politics in the long term. I was also fairly good friends with my boss and one co-worked and still keep in touch with them.
If it were me I would invite no one from work, or just your boss and his partner. Don't feel pressured to invited everyone!
I don't know. That is a lot of extra people. If it were me, I would just invite the two bosses and thier wives from the new job you're at.
At my old job, I'm inviting two ladies and their hubbies. It's the two that I still keep in touch with.
I wouldn't invite any of them, unless you've developed personal relationships with them (which it doesn't really sound like you have). My opinion is (and I know many have opposite opinions, which is fine) that weddings are for your nearest and dearest to celebrate with you....not to fulfill some sort of social/work obligation. I wouldn't invite anyone just because I felt obligated to.
<p dir="ltr">i TOTALLY understand your situation.
<p dir="ltr">i just got engaged at the end of august and started my new job 2 weeks after.
<p dir="ltr">at my old job, there was a bunch of us (analysts) around the same age... so i made a lot of friends. but even that list, i cut down to my close circle of friends and their S.O.'s...
<p dir="ltr">at my new job, i am a consultant on a very intimate team of 10 or so people. i want to invite my two bosses, their S.O.'s, and two friends and their S.O.'s... but that only leaves a handful of people out... including this one lady who will give me sooo much drama if i don't invite her.
<p dir="ltr">it's a sticky situation, i lucked out that i have some time (9 months or so)... so i'm counting on being able to make room for everyone at my current workplace.
<p dir="ltr">but don't feel pressured, no one should ever ASSUME they're invited, it is YOUR wedding...
@missjc
we're wedding date twins :) (I like to point that out when I see it)
@gooseegg
i think that is a viable option, just waiting on the no RSVPs before giving the invitations out at work.
It's interesting, albeit flattering, when people you work with just assume they are going to be invited to your wedding. I would say you aren't obligated to invite any of your co-workers unless they develop into friends. IMO, just because someone is your boss doesn't mean they get an invite. When we heard my FI's bosses discussing having to make a trip in August for our wedding I took the opportunity to describe the wedding it as a small, family only affair to one of their wives when she asked. If you have people from your previous job and continue to maintain those friendships, those people would be more important to me to have on a guest list.
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Alright, so I recently started a new job in the summer, at a small law firm. I previously worked for 4 years at a small real estate office.
At my former job, I became close to my boss and his wife, as well as a couple of the agents, so they made it onto the initial draft of my guest list.
The dynamic of my current work place, is that it is a tiny firm founded by two partners, I am the assistant to one of the partners.
My wedding is in September, so by that point I will have been working there just over a year. I had planned to invite my current boss and his wife, but there have been some recent conversation that has made me think that everyone else at my work feels that they will be invited.
My guest list is already kind of maxed out (due to space, and some other political factors [oh how I love wedding politics]. If I invited everyone at my current job it would be:
Current boss and his wife
Partner and his wife
Partner's assistant and her husband (who lives out of town on the weekend)
Associate A (no date)
Associate B and his wife (associate B just started this week, and will only be working part time).
That is 7 people more than I accounted for, in my already maxed out guest list.
My feelings are, that it should be not be a big deal if I just invite my boss and the partner (who is also kind of my boss, since he half owns the firm) and their wives. But because it is such a tiny staff force ... I don't want to make a faux pas that makes people feel slighted.
I guess in the worst case scenario, I could scrap inviting people from my former job, to save face at my current place of employment, but I really want those people to be there, but obviously maintaining a good image at my current job is important too.
I'd like to think that I have a good rapport with my current boss, and that if I asked him ... he'd let me know if it is just the partner who believes he will be invited, or if it is being thought that my wedding will be a company affair.
But, do you guys think that there would be grounds for hard feelings if I only invite boss and partner and their wives, especially if anyone asks I can say that there are restraints due to space.
'tis the downside to working in small intimate "family run" type businesses.