Post # 1
I am pretty bummed out I got married in July and went on my honeymoon at the end of August and thought perhaps my work would do something for me. I have worked at my job for 5 years and know a lot of people here (75+ people out of 500+ on site) and not a single person even gave me a card. For a while I thought that my boss was going to throw a work shower for me but that never materialized, and that is okay. I do know that showers happen, as do cards, someone in my group had recently thrown two other girls in my hallway a combined baby shower where in they each got hundreds of dollars worth of gifts including generous gift cards directly from the company.
We didn’t register anywhere besides Honeyfund.com because we have two complete households, so gifts weren’t that important, but it would have been nice to get together with people or get a card or something.
I feel petty, but it is bothering me that the 6 people in my group didn’t even sign a card for me. Would you be upset by this? Should I have said something to my boss? I am 29 and an encore bride, but most of my coworkers don’t know because it was before I started in this profession. Are baby showers more common at the office than wedding showers?
Thanks for your feedback, I am just feeling left-out.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
In the circumstance that you described (they throw other people showers, you’ve worked with these people for 5 years), I would be very upset. However, I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it, as it is up to one of them if they wanted to organize things 🙁 And yes, I do think baby showers are more common than wedding showers at the office. Sorry you’ve run into this situation, but at least got to celebrate with your true friends and family! Work is just work!
Post # 4
Did you invite anyone from work to your wedding? Maybe people were surprised they were not invited. Also, not having a registry doesn’t help if you wanted an office shower. Sorry you’re feeling let down.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t care. I’m at work to earn a paycheck and do my job, not because I need a social life or more friends. Plus if you’re just colleagues with your co-workers and not close friends, then it’s easier to leave work behind when you leave for the day. Let it go.
Post # 6
Unless doing cards/showers for weddings is the norm and you feel singled out… I would not be concerned. It doesn’t sound like you are close enough to any of these people to invite them to the wedding… so if you didn’t ask them to celebrate with you it kind of makes sense that they….. wouldn’t. And that’s fine! You work in a huge company so it would be kind of hard to celebrate everything it seems.
The baby shower thing makes more sense to me because it is a bit more of a visible life change that is kind of in-your-face. Not only are you reminded about it daily but that person will probably be taking a significant amount of time off of work. Plus it is easier to buy little stuff for baby showers/think the parents need something more than a couple getting married.
Post # 8
I worked at my job seven years at the time of my wedding and didnt’ get as much as a card from any coworker. Didn’t bother me one bit, as I had a destination wedding and didn’t invite anyone from work.
Post # 9
Work acknowledgement is such a tricky thing to not turn into a popularity contest. If it’s standard at your work place to do such things and Inwas the only one who didn’t get one I’d probably be a little upset.
I know in my case dh and i work together and got a work shower and probably $500 worth of registry items and giftcards from the person who organized it asking if people wanted to contribute, but since then we’ve had other people get married and not get nearly as much acknowledgement. But i work with 90% men… So maybe people just feel more inclined to give to a “bride”.
Post # 10
I would not care, I’m not inviting most of my co workers. I would not expect a card or anything from them. Been here over 3 years.
Post # 11
@Miss Gamer: i can understand feeling upset/left out but i dont know what you think talking to your boss would achieve. i mean what would you say?!? itd just look very strange
in offices,i do thinkbaby showers are a bit more common. wedding showers…not so much. were the co-workers invited to the wedding? if not, i guess im not that surprised they didnt get you a gift
i dont htink it would occur to me to buy a present for a co-worker who didnt invite me to the wedding if im truly honest, whereas i might get a little something for a baby
regardless…sorry you feel upset,but im sure it doesnt mean they dont like you or they like you less than the others
Post # 12
Welcome to office politics. Are you well liked at your company? Do you have friends there who are cheering you on for your wedding? Seems odd that they wouldn’t at least give a card unless there’s drama between you and your coworkers.
Honestly though, I’ve been at my firm 8 years, and I could care less what I get, I don’t expect those kinds of things, it’s nice when they happen but this is a workplace, not a social club. Just my take.
Post # 13
Yes, baby showers are much more popular. Every woman (but only the girls! I always get expectant fathers gifts, too!) who has had a baby while I’ve worked here has had a shower thrown for her by someone at work. Some have been big “everyone come see her off before she has the baby” affairs and some have been just a simple email to the girls in the office to meet for lunch or at a restaurant after work.
But I’ve never seen a wedding shower or anyone really get excited about a wedding other than their own, and quite a few of my coworkers are the marrying age and have gotten engaged or married while I’ve been here (5 years, too).
I got a nice card with a $300 gift card from my boss(!), a set of crystal candlesticks from my assistant, a card with a check for $50 from my coordinator (kind of my other boss), and that’s it.
A couple weeks after my wedding another guy in our group (of 14 including our techs) got married. I bought a card, sent it around for signatures, collected money, and went and bought something off their registry. When I went to one guy to have him sign it he said I made him feel like a jerk because he said they should have done something for me but everyone was all “yeah sure go ahead” and he at least wanted to take me out for lunch. I declined, I didn’t need lunch to know he was happy for us.
So.. people care – I’m sure they’ve all made it known they’re happy for you, right? Just be happy. It stings a little, but it doesn’t occur to people to get involved in things they aren’t invited to. When babies are born there’s no “event” – there’s just lots of happiness and presents. With weddings, you get invited so you bring a gift.
Post # 14
I have worked in an office environment for 7 and a half years. I have never seen a wedding shower, only baby showers. Also, my coworkers who are my friends were invited to my my wedding shower. Other coworkers are just invited to the wedding but weren’t asked to my shower because they aren’t close friends.
Post # 15
I think it depends on how close you are to your coworkers, not how many you know. I’ve been at my job for 6 years, and while my coworkers did throw me a shower, I’m certain it was only because I’m really close to two of them. Otherwise, though, I honestly wouldn’t have expected anything from them except a “congrats” in the hallway!
Post # 16
It’s unfriendly and rude for them not to, but a lot of people are pretty clueless about that sort of thing these days.