Working too much.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like he gets mad when you work extra shifts because he gets bored and wants you with him to occupy his time. When he works, he’s occupied, and everything is fine for him. 

Maybe you could sit down with him and talk about what things the two of you want to do with each other each week, figure out the times each of you are free, and go from there. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 3
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Wow, I work 70 hours a week on average and have worked up to 123 hours in 7 days. A guy like your BF would never work for me. But I do recognize there are few people out there who can tolerate my schedule. I only mention my situation to make the point that it is possible to have a strong relationship and work many hours. Seems like some good, quality talks are in order for the two of you. 

Post # 6
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If something as little as work can affect a relationship, maybe the relationship isn’t so strong. 

Post # 7
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

How much do the both of you want the relationship to work? It really comes down to that. My S/O had that problem last year. He worked the night shift 2p-11pm and then it went from 5pm-2am all the while I worked 8am-5pm and then had classes from 530-830 pm all on top of living about 30 minutes from each other.  I recall we were definitely having a rough patch, our relationship was at a turning point and my S/O was scared of his emotions (so he claims) and he broke up with me. I remember being so devastated, but less than 3 days later he begged for me back. A year later and we’re living with each other and my e-ring will be here next week! 

My whole point is that if you really want him and love him, then the work schedules won’t be an issue. I remember many nights just sleeping over at his place all so I can get up the next morning to kiss him goodbye and he’d do the same when he get hom in the a.m.  Just talk with each other, maybe a test will help you both put things in perspective like it did my S/O  and me .

Post # 9
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

cassernova:  Then you guys definitely need to have a talk. Just have a sit down and explain your concerns in the most loving and supportive way you can muster. For instance, my guys is very stubborn and he always thinks I’m counseling him because of my field, so I always soften him up so he wont be defensive or stubborn. In your situation I might do something like sending him texts stating how much you miss him and the time you use to have together or writing him little sticky notes that he’d randomly find. Basically just letting him know you support him and his work ethic, but also reminding him that you are his girlfriend and you are letting it be known that you miss him. Then once you can have face to face go into detail about your feelings. 

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