Post # 1
Oh Bees! Please let me vent to you.
Where do I even begin?
Just last month I was excited for all the wedding events coming up. My bachelorette in Vegas planned for this weekend (October 4-7). My wedding shower planned for the weekend after. There was even talks of a local bachelorette or girls night out just to hang out with my girlfriends who couldn’t make it to Vegas with me. I was getting all the outfits I would need for each event in order. My invites were coming together great and ready to be mailed any day. My first fitting was coming up. Every day after work was dedicated to some wedding project. Life was great. I was happy and excited to be getting married. And then last week, I was told something that would forever change my life and send me on a seemingly never ending roller coaster ride.
I found out that my father had been molesting one of my younger sisters for the past two years. The day I found out, my little sisters along with my mother packed up and came to stay with me and my fiance. After safely securing them, we turned my father in. He is currently out on bail but as if things couldn’t get any worse, my mother returned to my father. That’s right, she abandoned us all. We are no longer on speaking terms. My little sisters are currrently living with me and I’m in the process of getting legal guardianship.
In the meantime, I had to cancel my bachelorette and wedding shower because I couldn’t bring myself to attend such events when my world was falling apart. My friends have been very understanding and sending me well wishes. I don’t even know what to say to them.
I feel horrible for my FI because he has been so patient and I have been taking a lot of my frustration out on him. My thoughts are all over the place. Some days I’m really angry and resentful because he got to have his bachelor party and I won’t get to experience any of it. Then I end up feeling really guilty for having such selfish thoughts and misplacing my anger because I know it’s not his fault. Plus, with all of this going on, I’ve been completely neglecting him.
Currently, I am passed having a pity party for myself because my main priority right now are my sisters’ well being and I’m just trying to stay strong for them. I am just starting to get excited for the wedding again and even though I won’t get to experience all the fun events that lead up to the wedding, I’ll be okay. Because at the end of the day, I still get to marry the love of my life.
This has been very therapeutic for me. Thanks for letting me get it out.
Post # 3
oh my goodness! that is so terrible! It is so so amazing how well you’re adjusting to this terrible situation, thank goodness your little sisters have someone like you to support them. Even though your mother has left you, just remember YOU made the right decisions in supporting your sisters and turning your father in.
Post # 4
*Hugs* yikes – what a turn of events!! I’m sorry you’re going through this. It will get better. It sounds like you’ve got a really healthy perspective on all this. I wish you the best of luck and I am sure your wedding will still be amazing 🙂
Post # 5
Wow, stay strong girl, looks like a lot happened and you are doing so much for your sisters and you’re really looking out for them. I love that you have this wonderful perspective that you’re still marrying the love of your life – that is the most important thing in the world!
I hope things look up for you and we’re here if you ever want to vent! Sending positive vibes your way!
Post # 6
@miss_anon: I’m so sorry you and your family is going through all of this… I can’t imagine what you must be thinking and feeling. What you are already doing is great! I would just continue focusing on my sisters and how I could help them. Getting them the therapy they need and pushing for the guardianship, especially since your mother left.
As far as the wedding, you’re allowed to feel resentful and upset and you’re allowed to feel guilty about it too. Bottom line, you’re allowed to feel everything that you’re feeling right now. You are also allowed to have a shower and you are allowed to feel happy. It’s a happy and sad time for you. But you’re right at the end of it all, you’ll be marrying the love of your life.
Post # 7
Many kudos to you for taking your sisters. As a mom with grown kids, I can’t imagine what the Hell your mother is thinking. Her actions are inexcusable.
I am so sorry you have had to give up so much. Do you think maybe you and your girlfriends might be able to hop out to Vegas in a few months for a girls weekend? If I were in their shoes I’d do that in a heartbeat.
I wish you the best of luck.
Post # 8
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, and most importantly your sister. I can tell that she means the world to you, and I cannot even imagine how much of a shocker and emotional rollercoaster this must be for you! I am SO sorry, and wish there was something that we bee’s could do to help!
I feel that at this time, the best thing you could do for your FI is apologizing to him and tell him how you are feeling and that you are not meaning to take your stress out on him, but at times like these it is human nature to act they way you are acting towards those who are closest to you. I’m sure that he understands that this is not his fault, and not your fault, it is just your way of dealing with the stress. Don’t beat yourself up too much, as I’m sure he understands!!!
I am so sorry that you’ve had to cancel your bach party, but I wonder if you still can have one in town, and have your FI take care of your sisters, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind! Plus, with all of this going on, you need a day for YOU too.
Post # 9
@miss_anon: I don’t even know what to say. I am very sorry for what you are going through and I hope that you can reschedule your fun events for after the wedding. It’s not ideal, but it will still allow you to have some much needed time with your friends.
You sound like you have a very clear head and a lot of perspective. You have everything in order and are doing everything right. I hope that your wedding is a wonderful and joyous event and that you are able to enjoy yourself.
Post # 10
@miss_anon: I’m so sorry for all the things going on in your life right now. I know you cancelled everything, but is there any way that maybe you and some girlfriends (and your sisters) can do something together? Spa day, movies, something like that?
Again, I’m so sorry, but you sound incredibly strong. Good luck.
Post # 11
I am so sorry you are going through this. I cannot even imagine… However I am very glad that your sisters have you in their lives and that you have your fiance. I pray that your wedding day will still be filled with joy for you.
Post # 12
@miss_anon: Contact a local organization that specializes in child abuse. They can get you extra resources, support, someone to talk to, etc. Praying for your strength. You are a great big sister.
Post # 13
I am so sorry for you. What an awful situation, all I can offer up is thank god your mother was level headed enough to leave with your sisters, for however brief it was. If she didn’t this secret could’ve been kept from your for longer and your sister could’ve endured more pain and suffering. She is now safe and can focus on recovering from what she’s been through.
You’re doing everything you can and more, and you sound like a very strong person. Best of luck! I hope in 2 months time, both you and your sisters can enjoy your wedding.
Post # 14
That’s horrible! Thank GOD your sisters are safe with you now, and I think it’s FINE to feel jealous of girls who don’t have to deal with all of that!
Post # 15
I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. Situations like this are so terrible (I was abused by a grandparent). But honestly, I just want to say that you are an amazing person and so is your FI for taking your sisters in. They are beyond blessed to have you in their lives! I think maybe just reaching out to your FI and telling him that you are under a lot of duress and express how much his pateince and support mean to you during this time.
I understand being frustrated that you don’t get to have the full wedding/bridal experience wtih your shower and bachelorette party. I am so sorry that you will miss out on the ideal wedding experience.
I think in 2 months time, you will have your amazing husband and be able to celebrate with your sisters. Maybe you can have a girls day out or something? Maybe a spa day (your sisters could perhaps come to something like this?). I think you can still have a day or lunch or something. You deserve it.
I am praying for you and your sisters, the healing process isn’t easy but I know it’s possible.
Post # 16
All I can say is that I’m very sorry…it’s an unimaginable situation to find yourself in. Your post suggests that you are a strong woman – both in what you can shoulder but also in character. Your sisters are lucky to have a role model like you in their life; someone to turn to for comfort, for safety and for consoling. Best of luck to you, your soon-to-be-husband and your family. You are an incredible lady and I hope that your wedding day brings you both peace and joy!