World's worst father in law

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@QueenOfSerendip:  That is tricky. I do agree it would just make things more awkward and questions would be asked of you as well – if you were awake, why didn’t you say something? Why did you let it happen twice? He shouldn’t have done it, that’s for sure, and it certainly doesn’t sound “fatherly” in nature.

If it is eating away at your husband, then you should let him talk to his dad. If you didn’t want him to say anything or handle the situation with his family as he sees fit, then you shouldn’t have told him. I would have told my husband the same night so he could knock his dad out 😛 Seriously though, it depends what you are willing to ignore and how much family drama you want.

Post # 4
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would definitely let him raise it. These things tend to escalate if there are no consequences for the inappropriate behaviour. A stern talking to from his son should hopefully nip it in the bud. You’re right it might make things more awkward for a while, but it sounds like it’s pretty awkward anyway!

Post # 5
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

Ummm EW! Ick

I probably would have freaked out the second it happened. Is it possible his dad was also very drunk? that is not an excuse AT ALL, but he might claim he doesnt even remember it happening. Did anyone else at the party see it happen?

Post # 7
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

omgggg that is appalling! i totally understand why you didn’t react at the time… you weren’t thinking clearly and that isn’t exactly a situation you think you would ever find yourself in! I DO NOT have sound advice because I feel like if I were you I would probably just try to forget it and move on. He probably would not be watching any future children of mine though… that might seem harsh but that is seriously creepy/predatory behaviour. If your husband feels he needs to address it with his dad, I think you should let him. and then avoid your FIL like the plague for a while!!!

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@QueenOfSerendip:  I am going to go against the grain a bit here (are you surprised) and say that I feel you should talk to your FIL. Your DH can be there, sure, but the issue is between you and your FIL. You are a grown up and don’t need a man to come to your rescue. It will be more powerful coming from you rather than hiding behind your husband (which is how I fear it will be perceived).

You set the boundaries for what is and is not okay and your DH is there to support you. I don’t believe the “his family, his issue” nonsense when the issue is one that happened to you. The two of you are married now so it is your family too and you have every right to speak up for yourself is you feel it’s necessary.

Post # 12
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Is this how his family shows affect? Do they kiss on the lips? If he had inappropriately touched you, then I’d be all for freaking the F out. But maybe this was just a drunk tender moment, he might have thought you looked sweet resting there and thought of it like tucking in a child??? I don’t know. It’s strange and odd, but maybe harmless???

Post # 13
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@QueenOfSerendip:  …was everyone all kinds of schnokered….?  Cause people do dumb and weird shit after a snoot-full….including people’s dads….I know its creepy, but it may have just been drunk guy display of totally bizarre fatherly affection, and it went so very wrong…he might not even remember either….so yeah….that’s just crazy right there.

Post # 14
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@QueenOfSerendip:  I’ve been thinking about you! What have you decided?! How are you going to proceed? Hope everything is okay!

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