- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
This is kind of a rant- because I’m just sad right now.
My dream wedding: having a DW with whoever could make it- no hard feelings for those who coudln’t. Then, after DW, have a big, fun outdoor BBQ/bonfire/celebration with friends/family and everyone!
My mom was OK with a DW. My dad was not. My parents are divorced- and even my stepmom for a moment- suggest getting married in the mountains of Steamboat, CO (my parents own a place out there)- but in the end, my dad didn’t like a DW because he feels it’s important for the grandparents to be there for the actual wedding and they are too old to travel- all of them.
So here we are, having a big wedding. 100+ invited- every RSVP has been yes so far. My dress is huge (but I do love it)- it’s in a mansion- and I hate being the center of attention. A lot. Like it really makes me feel uncomfortable. But I put my big girl undies on and decided to try and make the best of.
I know there are always stresses that arise when planning a wedding- it’s not like I thought this was going to be a flawless project. But man- my family- very oddly—has been unsupportive, even though I am pretty much doing everything THEY want. It’s not because they don’t like FI– they do. FI is the type of guy that you have to just be a jerk to hate. He’s kind, caring helpful, doesn’t like confrontation- even my son’s dad really likes FI- and he basically doesn’t like anyone LOL
We are over budget. My family has been just wierd (and yes, I’ve tried to talk to them- but it’s like they’re all permanenlty PMS-sy lately)- and here was what threw me over the top-
last night, my sister was asking for contact info for a couple of the people invited to my shower (that I didn’t even really want!)- and she runs some info by me and tells me that FMIL, and my 2 FSILs can’t come to the shower! I already knew FSIL “S” coudln’t come- she personally contacted me and told me. And I really am laid back about the whole thing. I was bummed because I wanted to see her, but I didn’t think twice about it. But I had no idea FSIL “T” and FMIL weren’t coming. I was just at thier house last weekend- had dinner- they were both there- and no one said anything to me. I’m hurt because MIL emails me often enough- even just to tell me that’s she’s so excited FI is “getting a wonderful wife and I am gaining an awesome daughter in law.” She has a framed picture of me- just me- in their house. They live 35 minutes away, so we don’t see them all the time- but she really likes me a lot. So I’m a little sad she hasn’t at least emailed me just to tell me she can’t make it.
I talked to FI about this last night (I just found out last night)0 and he tried to make me feel better by explaining that his family is just like that- they don’t communicate- but also that his mom probably has no idea that she is hurting my feelings because she would never want to do that (and I believe him). He went on to explain his uncle died last fall before hunting season- and he was never old by anyone until he arrived at the cabin to hunt and his uncle wasn’t there. (His uncle lived a few hours away) His family is close, but they don’t do a whole lot of talking LOL
I am also bummed that FSIL “T” hasn’t bothered to at least text me- both her and S are bridesmaids. More than anything, I just feel sad because although I understand they are very busy people- they all work hard/have 2 jobs to make a living- withouth them at least contacting me- I feel like they are being unsupporitve, if that makes sense. I’m also trying to give T the benefit of the doubt because she is pregnant and due in early October- but she’s still working 2 jobs and nothing has slowed her down yet.
Between the that news and everything I’ve dealt with from my family- plus the regular “wedding stressors”- I just don’t feel a lot of joy in planning anymore 🙁
FI says if I truly want to cancel the wedding, we can, because happiness has no price. But we will lose out on a lot of money we can’t get back- and I will feel horrible.
Anyone have any suggestions how I can get out of this funk?!