I’ve never had a problem with the pill, remember, those who have problems are normally the most vocal about it, they are actually a small percent. I don’t go around telling everyone about my completely normal experience with the pill all the time, because it’s boring. There are hundreds of thousands of women just like me. Go see your doctor, and they’ll get you sorted.
You’ve received some great advice from everyone here, listen to it. Don’t just dive in, you’ve been building up for 9 years, build up some more, lots of kissing and undressing and caressing. Slow, slow, slow. It will be intimate, perhaps a little funny/awkward, and that’s ok! If you can’t laugh during sex with your partner, then when can you laugh?!
Make sure you share these concerns with him too, I know that might seem intimating and you don’t want to look “silly”, but again, you are going to be marrying him and if you can’t talk about this with him, then what does that say about your communication and trust? In fact, just print out this page with all the advice and read through it and discuss it together.
If you haven’t explored yourself, alone, with your hands, now is the time to start doing it. The first time may not be super pleasurable (more intimate and romantic), but the honeymoon sure can be. You have a better chance of it being pleasurable if you yourself already know what feels good for you. You don’t have to penetrate yourself with your fingers, play around and find your clit first, gentle touches, see what you like. And remember, most people, during intercourse, are touching themselves with their own hands too. It is quite rare for a woman to be able to climax solely through penetration alone. Don’t feel like you are ‘cheating’ or that there is something wrong with you.
Have one or two drinks to relax and loosen up and just relax. This will be your first time of many, many hundreds or thousands of times. You have plenty of time to get it “right”. Enjoy these first touches, that first act of penetration then you finally become “one”. You may feel stretched, full, a little bit of pain as he breaks your hymen (side note, this may not happen the first time as he may not get deep enough, so if on the third or fourth time it hurts and you bleed, don’t freak out! That’s just your hymn breaking. It’s a small amount of blood, like 1 day of a period or something). You may feel nothing at all! Don’t stress if this is the case, it will all come in good time. You may need to help him find your vaginal opening, so make sure you know where it is yourself.
As I said, make sure you talk about this with your future husband. Do you both agree on what position you’d like to be in when he first enters you? Most people go with missionary, which I recommend, but sometimes your partner isn’t thinking the same thing you are. Game this out with him a bit rather than jumping in blindly.
And have fun! 🙂