Worried about my niece

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should girls in their mid-20s be concerned about finding a husband?
    Yes. They should start husband shopping/dating smart. : (20 votes)
    10 %
    No. Marriage is not a requirement for women these days. : (94 votes)
    45 %
    Yes. Every woman should have the security of marriage. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    No. There is still plenty of time. : (92 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Seattle, WA

    I’m 32 now, and wasn’t even thinking about marriage at 25. She’s fine!

    Post # 3
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    She’ll figure out what she wants.  She might never want to be married.  She has to do what makes her happy.

    Post # 4
    Member
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Being 24 myself, I think I would be offended if someone was thinking I was getting old enough to worry about getting married soon. Also, I have family that tries to butt into my life and it’s really annoying. Well-meaning or not, it’s annoying. I actually have family members saying I’m too young to get married. So, I think she can handle it on her own. She is an adult, after all. I don’t see the need to worry about her.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    557 posts
    Busy bee

    oh goodness! At 25 I was still loving life (not to say I don’t love life now…) I was still in grad school but still…she will figure out what she wants when she wants it. Around here many people in their mid 20’s still do not have their lives figured out.

    I think it is wonderful that she is taking the time to figure out who she is and what she wants before settling down. I didn’t meet my SO until right after I turned 30…my parents wondered what was going on because I spent my entire late 20s randomly dating without even introducing a man to them for probably 4-5 years. Well, it was because I had not found what I wanted…now I have and we moved quickly into starting our lives together.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Bunny_the_Bride:  I’m 25 and engaged but I have a lot of friends my age who aren’t ready for it yet. 25 is a funny age, some people (men and women) have matured greatly, have awesome jobs and own homes and have started families, and others are still up for going out partying every weekend and not looking to seriously commit to anything (jobs, relationships..)

    In my opinion, either is fine. While the latter may leave you setting yourself up later in life, for some people that’s the best option. Some people simply aren’t ready early on and forcing them to settle down just won’t work.

    If she was heading down a dangerous path i’d be all for you looking to help steer her in the right direction, but it sounds like she’s simply enjoying her youth and focusing on other priorities. I don’t think her simply not wanting to settle down yet is anything to be worried about! You’re a great aunt for caring though 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Why are you concerned? It sounds like she’s got her life together and she’s just enjoying life.  It’s her life, let her live it 🙂  Who knows? maybe she’s not even interested in getting married.

    Post # 8
    Member
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Bunny_the_Bride:  No, giving someone unsolicited advice about her love life is very rude. 

    If she ASKS you “Hey do you think I should start husband-hunting?”, you can obviously give her your opinion. But she hasn’t asked you, because she doesn’t care.

    So, zip it. And mind your own business.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1626 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’d be more proud of her that she has chosen to get herself an education and try to do something she finds meaningful with her life. 25 is young to marry and pop out babies for a lot of people. I’m 26 and just got married a few months ago, but we certainly don’t own a home or plan to have kids any time soon. My DH is 27 and is going to go back for his masters, and I’m just finishing my bachelors. I wish I was 25 and your niece and finishing my masters instead.

    Let her do what she wants and find out who she is, the right man will come along for her when it’s time. Or maybe not, but there’s still sooo much left in life to start experiencing before putting down roots. If I was still single, I would have moved to many places, gone on trips around the world, and done a lot more things than I do now because I’m married and we have responsibilities and blah blah. A lot of people told me I was too young to get married, or got married too soon, lol. Funny how that works.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2494 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. 25 is still very young and she has lots of time. I was engaged at 25 but not because I was husband shopping and worried about get married asap. It just happened that way. I am one of the few my age in my group of friends and family who are married/on their way to marriage. Your neice sounds like she’s doing great, having a masters degree and a good job. She sounds like she knows what she wants.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Just because YOU think that should be her priority doesn’t mean it should. Let her live her own life. If she is smart enough to get her Master’s I’m sure she’s smart enough to figure out what she wants in life, and when.

    Post # 12
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee

    Bunny_the_Bride:  Seems like overreacting to me. In a lot of social circles, 25 is considered too young to be thinking about marriage these days. Getting professional degrees and getting settled into a career is more important than husband hunting in the long run in my books.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2150 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Bunny_the_Bride:  I’m pretty sure you can own a home in your twenties without being married. And you can even have children without being married, for that matter.

    If the girl wants to eventually get married, I’m sure she’s not purposely avoiding it by “just dating”- afterall, dating is what leads to relationships, which is what leads to marriage.

    The older the bride at the time of marriage, the more likely the marriage will last. Commend her for getting an education and a professional job- don’t worry about her love life. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    6644 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I am sorry but REALLY? Op your post is rather rude.  As someone who got married later in life you should know it doesn’t matter at what age to get married at.  As long as she is happy who cares what age she is.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    42522 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Bunny_the_Bride:  I don’t think anyone should be focused on marriage. I think we should all be focused on living the best life possible. If you are open to whatever happens in your life, good things will come your way.

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