(Closed) Worried about offending someone who is very volatile

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
12816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hopefully it won’t be a problem.  If she says anything, explain that you’d love to include her, but you weren’t able to space-wise, since you and your FI picked X number of attendants.  You had certain lifelong friends who you really wanted to include, and unfortunately you can’t celebrate with her as an attendant.

Would you be open to giving her another position, like being a reader? That could placate her if she gets upset.

Post # 4
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

It can be so difficult in these situations! I like PP’s idea of saying you had no choice because you wanted the numbers in each of your wedding parties to match. Just try to remember its your wedding…and if you handle this in a nice and graceful way, you’ve done all you can do and if she chooses to be angry, it’s her problem…not yours. It’s the best you can do!

Post # 5
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would just focus on telling her you wanted to keep the bridal party small. You don’t need to get into too many details and you can just focus on telling her you’ve known your two friends a long time so that’s why they are in it. Hope it goes well for you! 

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wouldn’t say anything for as long as possible – she’ll figure out that she’s not being asked. If she does confront you about it (which would be rude) then tell her you can’t have more than 2 like the PP suggested. 

Post # 8
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Ahh difficult!! I would just have a role you can allocate to her – like handing out the programs so you can still involve her without really involving her! 

Post # 9
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If her daughter is a flower girl, could you have her walk down the aisle with her daughter if her daughter is young enough that it would be appropriate? However, it doesn’t sound like you want to include her, which is ok too. I have someone in my family who has quite a temper and I always dread having to interact with her, especially for things that I know will make her angry. Good Luck and I would have your fiancee there with you and your brother too for the conversation.

Post # 10
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee

What if you ask her to witness signing your license. That’s a special role- I would be honored to do that for someone!

Post # 11
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I got to sign my sisters (friend of 22 years) license. That meant sooooooooo much to me. She didn’t have any bridesmaids. And she picked me out of all her lovely friends to sign the paper. Really I was a proxy for her…bitch of a sister(blood), as the groom had his (blood) brother sign for his side.

I felt very honored and practiced my signiture for a week before the wedding so it would be perfect.

 

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