Worried about RSVPs

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
2685 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

RSVP’s has most every bride worried.

I had to track down quite a bit of people for their answers. Its amazing how many people dont realize that the bride and groom need an answer. Even if its a no.

Honestly, I would start calling the people now who have not responded. Trust me, you dont want to wait too close to the day that you have to report your final numbers.



Post # 5
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We did online RSVP as well and it was not nearly as amazing as I expected. Of the 220 replies we needed, only 69 came from the website (and most of those had +1s so really only about 35-40 people used our website). We had people who actually went out and BOUGHT cards they could mail us to RSVP by mail. There were only a few like that – most came from people telling our parents. 

What did you put as your RSVP date? The day after our RSVP date, I started contacting the people that had not talked to us at all about the wedding, ie no comment when we set the date that they would come, or no reply to our save the dates, nothing. I figured those people were the ones I needed to hound straight away.

I waited a week until after the RSVP date to start contacting other people. I gave lists to our parents of their invites and they contacted them for us. I contacted my own friends – I used facebook and email but I’m overseas with a 15hr time difference so calling everyone was tricky and expensive. Had I’d been in the same country as them, I would definitely have called. 

In the end, we have about 25 people less than we had expected or hoped. 

Post # 6
6450 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

What is your RSVP date? I wouldn’t worry too much until that date passes. We had a huge rush a few days before and a few days after our date. After the deadline you will probably have to start calling people to find it if they are coming.


Post # 7
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

 Etiquette Snob here… lol

I agree with the other Bees, all the Planning Stuff at the end (RSVPs, Seating Charts, DIY etc) are always the worst

RSVPs seem to always be a nightmare with Guests being so RUDE as to not reply in a timely fasion or at all

As @MrsBeck: said, you have to just wait it out unfortunately.

Start making your phone calls around the 4 or 5 day mark after your Deadline has past (any sooner, and YOU will be judged as being pushy / RUDE)

Hope this helps,

PS… Hang in there… the stress stuff is almost over.


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