Worried About Some Unruly Guests…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Since they are your fi’s friends, he should sit them down and explain in no uncertain terms that he expects them to behave like grown adults, to not be rowdy and most importantly to not drive drunk. There should be some consequences lined out — your Fi will ask the bartenders to cut them off if he needs to, and he will ask them to leave if they can’t behave. And then your Fi needs to carry through on those consequences if warranted.

Post # 3
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Horseradish:  Yes, I like the idea of your FI talking to them. You stay out of it. Let him have a “man to man” conversation with them, and hopefully that will be enough.

I don’t see any need for a later party. One party on your wedding day is enough! The bachelor party is the time for them to be drunk and silly, if they want to. The wedding is the time for them to behave like adults.

Post # 4
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

llussier:  Asking them not to get wasted is useless. Of course they’re gonna tell you/FI what you want to hear if you ask them now. Actually you can’t serve alcohol while at the same time verbally dictating how much one should consume. It’s up to you and your FI to decide beforehand when or how much alcohol is served, but once it’s there you can’t tell your guests how much they can drink.

Post # 5
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It is one thing to have concerns about a friends drinking and taking them aside to talk about the issue but it is entirely different to take aside a group of adults to admonish them for something that has not and may not even happen.

Talking to them about the amount YOU deem is acceptable is rather insulting.

The person you should be talking to is the person responsible for the service of the alcohol at your event. They should not be serving clearly drunk guests.

Post # 7
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

llussier:  have someone on the bar to hand out drinks so it will limit them grabbing all the alcohol. If they get upset and leave over limited alcohol then I personally would be questioning whether they were truly friend material.

Post # 9
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

llussier:  You said it is a day wedding. What time does your reception start?

For my first wedding, I shared your concerns, only it was not about my FI’s friends, it was about my alcoholic parents. For that reason we had an afternoon reception with hors d’oevres, punch and cake. People were on their own for dinner. After we left for our honeymoon, my Dad had all the drinkers over to his place for a party.

That way I had the pleasant reception I wanted, and they got to drink and party later.

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