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I'll hopefully have my baby within the next 48 or so hours but when I travelled over the summer I was very nervous about something going wrong when I was away from home. Do you have a doppler? I know some people think its a silly thing to have but for me, after 14 weeks it was really nice to hear that little beat whenever I was worried. Especially before I could feel him move on a regular basis.
But really, don't over exert yourself, drink lots of fluids, rest when you get a moment, even just close your eyes and deep breaths in between all the holiday activity. You'll be fine :)
I'm very early-on, about 4 weeks, so I know I'm in the most common time for miscarriage. I haven't even been to the doctor yet (not until January).
I have the same fear. Our first appt is Dec. 21st which could be good or bad. If we find out all it well then we can go ahead and tell our families on Christmas. On the other hand, I'm terrified they'll give me bad news which will make the holidays unbearable. I've been so excited to share the news that if we were told something bad, I would be heartbroken. I guess nothing worth waiting for (especially this!) is ever easy!! Sending you good vibes for the holidays...I'm sure you and your peanut will be just fine! : )
I worried about this all the time. Having actually had a prior miscarriage (that started at home), with this pregnancy I worried about where and when it would happen again. At the Patriots game? While I was in Court? While I was at a wedding? Well, it didn't happen again so it was a lot of worrying for nothing. Saying "don't worry" is pointless because everyone worries during the first trimester. But, worrying won't prevent a miscarriage so try to remember that when you start to worry!
Good luck!!
@abbyful: I agree 100% with Winniewolf, worrying won't prevent it from happening so try to be relaxed as hard as it sounds. I had my m/c while on vacation at a friend's house this summer, I was away from DH. The important thing is to be with people who love and support you. After my vacation at my friend's I went to visit my parents for a week, I was so happy to have them there for me during what was a very difficult time emotionally.
@abbyful: I've got the same exact worry that you do. I don't have my appointment until January 12th. I just keep praying that my little bean is growing and doing what it's supposed to at this stage. I'm also 4 weeks as well with the same due date as you. I examine my pee every time I go to the bathroom. I also am still peeing on sticks as well. Last night, I came home and peed to a super dark line. That made me feel a little better that the bean is hopefully increasing in progestrone and hCG every couple of days. I'm worried that I'm not as tired as I was last week, though today, my boobs are raging more than before. I welcome nausea and tiredness to know that bean is growing safely.
ETA: I need to not over exert myself. I carried heavy bags a few blocks. My back hurt so much after that. I plan on taking a cab to the train station today since it even hurt to carry my duffel this morning. I don't want to do anything that could harm my little bean.
@chastenet - Thank you for sharing your experience. So sorry it had to happen to you, especially away from your DH.
@abbyful: I didn't know you were even pregnant! Congratulations!
@abbyful: as sad as i am for you that you're worrying and having anxiety....i am also so relieved that i am not the only one! i am only 4 weeks and 1 day...and absolutely freaking out at every twinge, and every time i go to the bathroom. i have checked the tissue every time so far, and today i had CM as i was walking around work and rushed to the loo convinced it would be blood like the last time i mc'ed. with the chrismas period coming up we will be miles away from home visitng family and staying in hotels. the thought of seeing blood so far away from my MIL and from the hospital that i went to last time when it happened fills me with dread. i want so much to just be la la laaaa happy happy but i know what a risky time this is for us all at this stage and every day seems to drag and probably will drag until we pass the first trimester lol.
i do truly believe what other wiser bees have said, that worrying will not prevent a mc. but that doesnt stop me hoping and praying...i wish i could switch the anxious part of my brain off and just revel in this joyous time but the cynical and pragmatic part of me wont. today mr D said, worrying about mc-ing will turn into a self fullfilling prophecy. my god i want to punch him in the face! becuase that is not helpful to me because im not worryingbecause i want to but because i phsyically cant stop lol.
the miracle of life is such a strange thing...on the one hand i am just in disbelief that two bodies could make another, and that it is there growing inside of me...and on the other i know realistically that the miracle is indeed a miracle, that the odds are against the pregnancy and we are incredibly lucky and blessed to carry to term. its times like this i wish wholeheartedly that i had a firm belief in God or something out there to put my trust and faith into. i wish i could believe the phrase 'what will be will be', but its so incredibly hard what you're thinking about a little life growing inside you.
whoops, didnt mean to post such a long message....i just wanted to tell you how strangely comforted i am that other bees are worrying the same as i am...sometimes in early pregnancy it can feel so lonely, i'm scared to tell people in case in jinxes this baby, so i feel alone in the worry and the anxiety, but also in the joy of the little one!
@abbyful: aka my first-appointment-date twin, I have the EXACT same concerns. I worry every day, and I just can't stop it. Today I'm worried because I wasn't as sick this morning as I was yesterday... can't I just be grateful?
Also, since my first appointment is still so far off, I'm ESPECIALLY terrified of having one of those MCs where you don't KNOW you had an MC and the heart just stops beating or never starts at all and the egg isnt released so there's no bleeding. I just wont feel reassured unti l get to the Dr. at 9 weeks and hear the heartbeat. My husband is frustrated by all my worrying, and I know it does no good to worry, but I can't help it. He doesn't understand that, and it causes tension between us.
Anyway, I know this isn't helpful, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Only 22 days to go til our appointments - with the holidays we'll be distracted and hopefully not thinking about it 24/7 like we are now :)
@pigeon-noises - I'm the same way about checking the TP!
@EngagedToPanda - At least you're sick! I haven't had any m/s yet. (I know, I shouldn't be complaining because some women are absolutely miserable with m/s, but it would be reassuring to have some! DH thinks I'm crazy for wanting to be sick. I just haven't really had many symptoms yet at all... a BFP & a little tiredness is all.)
I think you're right about the holidays, I think that hopefully will take my mind off things a little.
@abbyful: Congrats! Being nervous is totally warranted. Try not to let it consume you, and do your best to enjoy the holidays. I was terribly nervous the first few weeks of my pregnancy - until we heard the heartbeats. Since then I've been able to chill out, but the worry never really goes away.
My main advice would be to just to do a little research and prepare yourself for if anything would go wrong. Have the OB's office, or a consulting nurse line's phone numbers programmed into your phone. And if you're traveling further away from home, make sure you know where the closest hospital is. And take some cheap pg tests with you so you can keep peeing on a stick if you feel like it :) And THEN, do your best to relax unless you have a reason to worry. That was my biggest tool - telling myself, 'I'm not bleeding, I'm not majorly cramping, I have no sign that anything is wrong, so I choose not to worry'. And if you do have a reason to worry, at least you have the medical resources above to do something about it right away.
Happy and Healthy 9 months to you!
@abbyful: I never had any sickness during my pregnancy (I was nauseous a total of 2 afternoons!) I was tired, but not "I need a nap NOW tired." I just was hungry and had sore boobs. Just try to remember that every woman and every pregnancy is SO different. Sometimes I think sites like Wb make obsessing worse (or made it worse for me...comparing myself to everyone else). I know it's scary but just try to focus on the good news of being pregnant and try to be healthy and enjoy the holidays!
@abbyful: are you me? I'm lacking in the big symptoms right now too. I'm not terribly tired, a little crampy, but no spotting. I'm terrified of spotting. I can handle the cramping if it means that the bean is growing. My breasts are hurting today like they did the week before my BFP. I hope it means something good. Just had DH text me to relax my fears of miscarriage.
@abbyful: If it makes you feel any better I wasn't really sick at 4 weeks. I didn't start to get nauseous in the morning until about 5.5 weeks, and now I'm at 6 weeks 1day. At four weeks I just had sore breasts and tiredness mostly - it'll come - and then you can join me in freaking out on "good days" ha. Deep breaths.
For people who like to plan, calculate, research and take control, this is the worst part of pregnancy. There's a lot you can do, but some things are just out of your control. My very simple advice is, when these thoughts start creeping into your mind, make the conscious effort to replace that thought with a happy thought. Maybe of you decorating the nursery, or shopping for a crib, or hearing the heartbeat for the first time! It will reduce your stress, and done often, become a habit.
I didn't start getting sick until week 6 was almost over, and some women skip it entirely. My SIL had no morning sickness and felt great practically her entire pregnancy (wench!)
@abbyful: I wrote almost this exact same post when I was where you are. Honestly, the beginning of pregnancy was terrifying to me. I would get so resentful when women on TV would pee on a stick and then automatically assume they were going to have a baby, because I never felt like a positive test guaranteed a healthy baby at the end.
Little by little it got easier, and in fact, @KatyElle: might have been the one who gave me the same advice she gave you, because that's totally how I coped with it. When I started to get unreasonably panicked (meaning for no reason at all), I would make inspiration boards, try to figure out some colors or themes or do fun non-stressful stuff. Also, the Spring Babies thread helped a ton, as well as having a pregnancy buddy who is due near to when I am.
Lastly, I complained that I didn't have any symptoms. Aside from some cramping, i felt 100% normal, just scared out of my mind. That also went away. You may get some, and you may not, but everything you're going through it completely normal, and mostly, it'll pass.
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So, like any pregnant woman, I'm terrified of miscarrying. But I'm also terrified it's going to happen when we're at my parents' or DH's parents' houses over Christmas. Anybody else with this fear?