(Closed) worried about the logistics of living together (different work shifts)

posted 5 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly, I think you’ll get used to it. I’m a VERY light sleeper, but after living together with my SO for a while, I mostly sleep right through his really loud alarm clock (including the snoozes), him eating, getting dressed, etc. And our appartment is a single room.

I’ve also started taking melatonin before going to bed, and that has really helped me be able to go back to sleep if I do wake up because of him.

You may just be stressed about the change. You’ll figure it out, don’t worry about it 🙂

Post # 4
Member
6702 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015

How come he doesn’t fall asleep right after work? Just wondering.

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Stace126:  I think that it will be easier than you think! My FH and I have different schedules. Although not as different as yours. I work 12 hours shifts, 3 days a week. So, the days that I work I get up at 5:15 am, but on days that I’m off I like to sleep until about 9 am. My fiance rarely gets woken up when I’m getting ready. And I don’t even wake up when my FH’s alarm goes off! He always kisses me goodbye before he leaves for work and vice versa, and we always fall back asleep. It’s just something that takes some adjustment. 

@candy11: I don’t know his reason for not going straight to bed, but I have worked 2nd shift before and night shift 7pm-7 am. Think about it as someone who works a normal 8-5 job. You wouldn’t want to come home from work at 5:30 and go straight to bed. You just usually aren’t sleepy. It takes a little time to wind down for bed for a lot of people. 

Post # 6
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I dunno, you just get used to it.  We’ve worked all sorts of alternate shifts while living together, and we just try to be as quiet as possible.  Neither of us were ever particularly light sleepers (we both lived in dorms in university, so you HAVE to get used to noise/being woken up in the middle of the night by someone pulling the alarm and ending up outside for an hour in your undies, and going back to sleep).

We’ve both worn earplugs in the past, but after a while I stopped needing them.  We still sleep in separate bedrooms sometimes.

Post # 7
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You will both get used to it and get a system down that works for you both. Don’t stress about something that isn’t even an issue yet 🙂

Post # 8
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am a teacher and my fiancee is a bartender, so we have a very similar situation to yours.  I wake up around 5AM on school days and go to sleep around 10PM.  Most days, my fiancee bartends starting around 4pm and doesn’t get home until 2 or 3 in the morning.  I am a light sleeper, so when he gets in bed, I usually know he’s home and he’s there but I fall right back asleep.  I actually like it because I know he’s home safe.  He gives me a kiss and I fall back asleep.  On big days, when the bar has a party or there’s a festival in town (we live in a vacation town in Florida), he sometimes doesn’t get home until very very late.  On Saint Patrick’s Day, he got home at 5:45AM and I was already out the door to go to work.  He also works most weekends, which as a teacher, I have off.  I am very careful to stay quiet and not disturb him so that he can get the rest he needs and he does the same for me when he comes in late during the week.  (We also live in a 1 bedroom apartment, so sound can definitely carry!)

 

My advice to you is this— Do you love him? If you care about eachother you can make this work. Don’t make it an issue because it doesn’t have to be.  Be understanding of eachother’s need for rest and you’ll learn to love it.  I’m being 100% honest when I say this: one of my favorite things in the world is getting a big hug and a kiss at 3am because I know I’m loved and that he’s home safe.  And I’ve never felt unrested the next day because of it.

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You’re stressing too much about it.  My FI and I work opposite schedules as well and it took al ittle to get used to.  He wakes up at 5 AM, showers and gets ready in our master bath and he always kisses me goodbye and more times than not I do not even remember him leaving.  I am a very light sleeper, but I have gotten used to this schedule and it doesn’t bother me at all.

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