Post # 1
I am a regular on this board but for this post I would like to keep it private, thus the new name.
I am worried about what my guests will think of my mom. She is sort of mentally ill. I don’t want to get into details, but her behavior sometimes may seem odd/embarrassing at times. None of my friends or inlaws know about this since they have never met. If they see how she acts, I think they will think she’s crazy and talk about her and I don’t want that happening. I also have a little cousin who has autism and people may think I come from a crazy family. At least the autism is explainable, the reason for my mom, I dont know. I know I shouldn’t worry about what other people think and my true friends and new in laws will not judge but it is hard not to worry. My pastor would like my mom to be part of the ceremony for the unity candle, but I don’t know if she will be capable and that would put more focus on her.
I may be making a mountain out of a mole, but this has been worrying me for a while. Just needed an outlet to speak because I don’t think anybody will be able to understand, not even my FH because he has not gone through what I have in the past and is too nice to say anything mean.
Post # 3
This is really difficult! So sorry you have to struggle with what the world thinks.
I’m sure it will be really special for your mom to be involved! You should have FH or you have a chat with his family beforehand, just to express your concerns and have honesty on the matter. In reality its none of anyones business, but because they are family and perhaps their are health concerns or triggers, people can help the situation. Its nothing to be ashamed of!
Post # 4
OMG I WISH I had a mental ilness to explain my parent’s erratic behaviour. I bet plenty of other brides do too 😉
Have you thought about having the 2 families meet beforehand? I’d give them a really quick low-key heads up like “I wanted to let you know that my Mom has issues with anxiety (or whatever the affliction) and it can sometimes effect how she feels in a crowd (or whatever the behaviour)”. Have a nice dinner in a restaurant, just the parents, or a small family barbecue…
Post # 5
@SunshingBride: I would say that do what you can to make sure she is included, If you have family members that know her and will be there, have them help you with her.
Post # 6
Our families don’t speak the same language so I am hoping they won’t have much interaction with each other because of the language barrier. To me I’m thinking if I mention it, then they will look out for certain things or will be more prone to notice it since they are aware of it. If I don’t mention it, maybe they won’t notice? Or is that just wishful thinking? May not be the best way to handle it but that’s the way my family is, they would rather ignore things then confront and resolve it.
Post # 7
I have the exact same problem. Not going to go into details because I would die if somehow my mom read this…. but I would totally have them meet before, or warn the other family in a nice, proper way. I’m going to have the moms get their hair done together the morning of so that they can spend some time together before the wedding. They will meet at the rehearsal, but I wanted them to have a “get to know” session before hand. Good luck!
Post # 8
OMG…. Different languages. That is tough. Well the reason I’m doing a “warning” is because my mom actually gets worse when there are crowds or rather, “an audience”…. so maybe thats not the right thing to do in your case. But my mom can’t NOT be noticed….by any means. So if you can fly under the radar, maybe thats a good idea.
Post # 9
Uggh, it stinks that this has to be a worry for you 🙁
Can your FH explain to his friends/family the jist of the situation if there is a language barrier? I think that most adults would be able to get VERY few details (just as you provided here) and not judge. We all have our struggles, so no one should misbehave if they know in advance.
Hope everything goes well!:)