Worried about whether my bridal shower is going to happen…

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My suggestion would be to give her a break. It sounds like she’s trying, but a shower for 30-35 people is a big expense. 

I know etiquette might dictate that it’s improper for your family to throw the shower, but I think your options are to either look past that or potentially not have a shower. Your choice.

Post # 3
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

TroubadourTango:  Can the other bridesmaids pitch in?  Can you have it at your parents but stil the MOH as the host? $200 should be plenty for some light snacks and drinks for that many people without having to pay for a venue.

Post # 5
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

kb7:  +1  that is what I was going to say – the MOH can still be the “host” (sending out invitations, orchestrating the event, decorating, etc) but your mom’s house can be the “venue.”  I have seen this happen many times.  I “hosted” a baby shower for a friend at her mom’s house – I had a small apartment and her mom had a lovely home, and it worked out just fine.

Post # 6
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

TroubadourTango:  Do any family members have access to a clubhouse or anything in their neighborhood?  This is what we did for my shower, and I also hosted a friend’s shower there.

Post # 7
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

TroubadourTango:  Or what about the MOH’s house?

Post # 8
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

The other girls get a pass but you want your MOH to do and pay for everything? I cannot imagine. A shower is NOT NEEDED and she seems like she is trying. Smh

Post # 9
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Adding:

It sounds like she has been trying and is now coming to you because she can’t think of anything else. She sounds like a great MOH to me. My MOH did nothing and I never ever complained.

Post # 10
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

TroubadourTango:  Would your current place be able to fit the number of people? I went to a shower at my cousin’s house, but the invite clearly stated that her friend was throwing the shower for her. (Also, a plus to not have to move all the presents later by opening them at home.) She could put the money towards snacks and things instead of a rental cost.

Post # 12
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

kb7:  Clubhouse is such a great idea! I also think you should cut her some slack. It is still two months from September, and it seems like she was maybe trying to find something in her budget for that amount of people, but had no luck. 

Post # 15
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

TroubadourTango:  

If having it at your mom’s house is a no-go ask to have it at one of your other BMs house. Btw- I had no idea that was an etiquette no-no… it seems logical to me to have it at a central house, be it your moms… your even your house. Mine is at my uncles house… it doesn’t have to be a neutral venue.

Your other BMs can most def help out without forking over a ton of cash. They can do DIY stuff, as well as help make food and do some decorating. I planned a DIY Dr. Seuss baby shower for my friend and while it was a lot of work, I didn’t end up spending that much money… it can be done.

While it sucks that your MOH didn’t bring it up before, you can’t change that now. Maybe she knows your stressed out and tried to figure it out wihtout you, but she couldn’t so she came to you. She still has a couple months to plan, people will still have lots of notice.

My MOH is proactive for my Sept. shower and sent invites out this week… and I have family members complaining it’s too much notice, and they’ll ‘forget’… sigh… you can never make everyone happy.

I say cut her a break, help find a location, and move on. It could be worse and no one could be planning anything for you… like many other fellow bees on here.

 

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