Post # 1
I got engaged two years ago, and instantly asked my close friends to be BMs. I’m now getting married this Saturday.
The thing is, one of my BMs has become quite heavily dependant on weed, which is illegal in this country. I have on occasion smoked it, but don’t make a habit out of it (could count the number of times I’ve smoked on one hand).
This habit has caused drama with other BMs when organising the Hens night, as she kept complainign she was broke (but always had money for weed). Then she came to the Hens Night with a sh*tload of weed and proceeded to smoke it in front om my Mum, Aunties, FHS family and MY BOSS!!!!! Needless to say I wasn’t very impressed…
Then last night I went to drop her BM dress to her and she gave me a hug and yup, she was high. On a Monday night.
Fast forward to today. I sent her a message on Facebook (so I know when she’d seen it) asking her to please not bring any weed to the wedding, as we are getting ready at a Cops house, and our band at the reception are all cops. She hasn’t replied.
I’m basically of the mind that if she can’t promise not to bring weed, then I don’t want her to come. She wasn’t like this when I asked her to be my BM, that was over two years ago.. I just don’t know what to say now that she hasn’t replied to my message. I know she saw it at 11am, and she is the kind of person who always responds.
What do I say to her? Help bees!!
Post # 2
FirstComesLoveNZ: If she’s high, let them arrest her. We had a cop in attendance and our venue was next to the dog unit. We just informed guests that we knew smoked that if they were high, we would do nothing to prevent them being arrested. Hell, I’d have encouraged it. You don’t worry about it, plan as if she won’t be there. Tell her if she is high they will arrest her regardless of it being your wedding. It is that simple, either she acts like an adult and goes without the weed for the wedding or she takes the consequences of her actions. I know it’s stressful but trust me, she isn’t worth stressing over
Post # 3
BtoR: I agree with you!
Maybe if her habit has become this bad letting her see the consequences of her actions happen. At the same time if there was any law eforcement involved I would ask them to politely and quietly notify you and have her removed discreetly
Post # 4
BtoR: FH has no qualms about kicking her out if she has it at the reception. The cops there will be off duty and playing in the band, so I don’t think they’ll notice. However, as we are getting married on the waterfront there are a number of guards who protect the area. They would remove her in an instant if they found her.
Thanks for the advice 🙂
Post # 5
FirstComesLoveNZ: I truly think not letting it stress you is the best thing you can focus on. You deserve to be stress-free and as hard as I can imagine it is to not worry about, it’d be best for you.