(Closed) Worried for a Friend

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Sadly, the questions you are asking are unpredictable, nor ‘answerable’.  As an outsider looking in to any relationship we can all have our say and what we think is good/bad, right/wrong, etc.  Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, since we are not the other 1/2 in the relationship, we really do not know why or how it is working.

Based upon your description, it sounds to me (honestly) that your friends bf has been very honest with her on what it is he wants, and or is ready for as far as their relationship goes.  Does that mean that it would work for every relationship? Nope, but your friend seems to be OK with it, which at the end of the day is all that matters.  She is the one choosing to marry him.

As her friend, all you can do, as it appears you are is support her.  Whether it is thru her highest hights or lowest lows.  I am certain that maybe my friends would have an opinion based upon some of things I have shared about my less than perfect relationship – and by less than perfect I mean – he pisses me off, we argue, etc (not all the time, but you know), then I would be pretty upset.  HOWEVER, if they legitimately had their concerns, I would hope they would let me know too.  From there, leave it alone I suppose, and if (for whatever reason) their concerns ended up being ‘right’, then still be supportive of me regardless!!

It sounds as if you are being a really good friend, but certainly if you feel very strong about this issue, then brooch the subject once!!  My disclaimer to that advice, however, is that she may be pretty upset with you for it – as some may 🙂

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t have the answers to your questions. Who knows what is going to happen with her relationship or any of ours for that matter.  But, what I do know is that whatever happens she is clearly the type of girl that is going to have to find out for herself – and probably the hard way.  This definitely has to do with the fact it’s her first and only serious relationship.  It’s hard to recognize the warning signs and red flags the first time you’re going through the situation.  Support her and give her the advice you need to make sure you have no regrets about holding back (be kind about it though).  However, know that once you have said your piece to her that is done. She will isten but honestly probably will do nothing. She needs to come to the realization herself that he is not the one for her. No matter what anyone says or does, she will only leave when she is ready to.

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