- 5 years ago
I’m officially ‘waiting’ for my boyfriend of seven years to propose. We’re young but, as outlined in my first proper post on these boards (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/cant-believe-im-actually-waiting) we’ve been through A LOT in our time!
We’ve made this decision together so, as I said, I’m just waiting. We haven’t told anyone else I know as he wants us to be able to announce it together. I’m really REALLY happy and we’ve had many an excited conversation about what we would like our wedding to be like…! I’m on Weddingbee several times a day just looking for something i can contribute to… in all, it’s a lovely time.
There’s just one thing I’m worried about.
My best friend is 26 and I spent the last few years pulling her up out of the emotional mess that her ex left her in – they were engaged to be married but he ended up cheating on her with various women and prostitutes. She met someone else and got pregnant within six months, and now regularly talks to me about how she is disappointed that her boyfriend doesn’t want to get married and that she won’t ever have the big white wedding she always wanted.
Then there’s my mum. I’ve had my problems with her over the years (problems with alcohol) but we’re good recently. She has been with her partner (who I’m not a big fan of and doesn’t treat her so good, but that’s a whole other story…) for about the same amount of time that I’ve been with mine. She has never been married and her partner has made it clear he doesn’t ever want to marry her – I have had to comfort her regarding this many times.
The issue I’m having is that I’m worried that when I tell my best friend and my mum that I’m engaged, they won’t really be happy for me. My mum especially has problems hiding how she feels (our last fall out was when I told her that I had come into a small but significant amount of money and she immediately burst into angry tears). My best friend may hide it better, but I have been at the receiving end of her rants about other friends’ engagements/marriages so I suspect she would probably feel the same about me.
As much as I hate it, I care a lot how people feel and I’m worried it’s going to be really awkward. I’m worried that this will ruin it for me… am I being selfish, or being silly? How should I deal with this issue if (when) it arises? These are two important people in my life despite their flaws and they are the two people I would want to talk wedding stuff with the most, but I’m worried I won’t be able to – or that it would be selfish of me to want to…