(Closed) Worried I was rude!…Help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t read too much into that! You’re fine!

Post # 4
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think you’re overthinking it. πŸ™‚ Really and truly.

I would say that if you’re REALLY worried, you could shoot her (the one planning the shower) a casual email and say you just realized how many people you put on the list and you don’t want to overwhelm her with planning such a large shower, and offer to cut back if she hasn’t already sent out invites. Or you could shoot her an email and say something asking her to put ‘no gifts please’ on the invites (that assumes, of course, that you genuinely don’t want gifts) – you’d still probably get a few, but fewer. People wouldn’t feel obligated that way.

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m like you.  But I would say, try to be zen about it.  She might be thinking, “Oh no, I didn’t invite mntbridenc to my shower!” And who knows the circumstance of her wedding.  Maybe she has a really limited budget, and would have liked to invite more people.  Or maybe she’s a bride that just really wants a super small wedding, nothing personal to casual friends.    

But it sounds like her office shower is a little different than the shower your Bridesmaid or Best Man is inviting her to.  Are you planning on inviting her to your wedding?  (That would be proper for your type of shower.)  

Post # 7
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Agree with Tanya123 – since your shower isn’t just for your coworkers, you shouldn’t invite the coworker with the 4/10 wedding to the shower if she isn’t invited to your wedding.

Post # 8
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

She might have been the rude one not inviting you to her shower. But everyone’s situation is different, her shower could have been a surprise and the hosts didn’t even know you existed or it could have been very small and intimate, you can’t just assume it’s the same situation as yours.

But are you invited to each other’s weddings?

Post # 9
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Are all the people who you invited to the shower also invited to your wedding?  I think you would only look like a gift monger if you didn’t also plan to invite all of your co-workers to your wedding πŸ™‚

Otherwise, you’re fine!  Don’t worry πŸ™‚ 

Post # 10
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Agreed with Miss Root.  Technically you shouldn’t invite anyone to the shower that you’re not inviting to the wedding.  The only time this is okay to do is if you’re co-workers take it upon themselves to throw you a co-workers only shower.  If this shower is your main bridal shower (with family and friends), you shouldn’t invite co-workers who aren’t invited to the wedding.  If they are invited to the wedding, you’re good to go!  πŸ™‚

Post # 12
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think since it’s a work shower, you were being nice by thinking of inviting all of your coworkers that are friends. If she doesn’t want to come, she won’t, so I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s better to err on the side of over-inviting than hurting someone’s feelings by not inviting them.

Post # 13
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ditto @sapphirebride…she said EXACTLY what I think is best.

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