Worried I won't be able to when we're finally ready…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I worry about this all the time and have no real reason to. It’s honestly my biggest fear to not have children. I’ve even considered having us tested to make sure we can but figure we should be trying first. Glad to know I’m not the only one who worries! I also get a little jealous whand friends and family announce their pregnancy even though we won’t be trying for a couple years.

Post # 4
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This is a huge fear for me too, even though I also don’t have any actual reason to worry.  I’ll be a couple months shy of 30 when we get married.  All my friends are having babies too (and several of them are on their second!) so I hear you on the baby envy…

 

Post # 5
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MsGinkgo:  I get migraines, 90% of the time with an aura and my Dr. never told me to go off the pill… yikes! On the subject of TTC, I don’t think it’s a good idea to go into things with a negative attitude. As hard as it is you really need to try to enjoy the process, let your body do what it is made to do! No stressing until there is a reason to stress 🙂

Post # 6
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsGinkgo:  I feel the same way.  We waited 10 years to get married so we’re not young.  I’m 35 and he’s 39.  We both took our time settling down since our career choices & school took priority.  We wern’t even sure if we wanted kids when we met, but now we’re getting to the place where we want to.  My husband just wants to have a few career things taken care of before we get started, but I keep hearing it takes so much longer in our age range and there are more risks.

But I have an aunt who was not trying at all and got pregnant at 49.  Two weeks after that announcement, she found out she was having twins!!  She gave birth to two beautiful, healthy girls at the age of 50.  I don’t know how many women could handle it the way she does, but she’s great & super happy with her girls!  She was already a grandma by the way!!

Post # 7
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think this is a pretty normal fear.  I also have my moments of “what if we have trouble or it takes forever” even though there’s no reason to worry.  I also have part of me that assumes it will only take one month, even though I know that isn’t likely, so who knows.  I figure it’s better to be aware of the chances, so that it’s not such a shock if it doesn’t happen right away, but at the same time it doesn’t do any help to stress over it. (BTW, DH and I are both 27, planning to start TTC likely in about 6 months)

Post # 8
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am 29 and got married in February – like you I had a desperate fear that I would never be able to get pregnant! For some reason I just had this feeling that we’d have trouble, and for the last couple of years I had been longing for it so much. I have endometriosis, my older sister was never able to have children due to endometriosis, and my other sister had repeated miscarriages (though she did have two children successfully). So with all my worrying, my fiance agreed to start TTC after the wedding, even though it wasn’t ideal financially (we were moving overseas right then and so had uncertain employment prospects!). And… we got pregnant on the very first try, right after the wedding! I’m now nearly 6 months along and although I’ve had horrific morning sickness all the way through, everything about the baby looks normal and healthy. I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly, but I feel very lucky that it did 🙂

Post # 9
Member
4587 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was on the pill for years, never used a backup method of birth control  and never had a pregnancy scare so I had an irrational fear that I wouldn’t be able to conceive when I wanted to.

I got pregnant our second cycle trying and I now have a beautiful baby girl.

Post # 10
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I was on the pill for at least 10 years.  Got married when I was 30 and waited to start TTC until I was 31.  I was so worried that something would be wrong or it would be difficult because I always had wacky cycles but we conceived on my 3rd cycle trying and I’m 17 weeks along now. 

Post # 11
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@MsGinkgo:  My sister was on the pill for about the same length of time, and as soon as they decided to start trying and she stopped taking it – BAM! Pregnant! Yay!

I know it’s not easy for everyone, but try to stay positive!

Post # 12
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Like others, I am worried about this as well. FI and I will be TTC later than I hoped, and I will have been on the pill for about 10 years when we first start. I’m considering talking to my gyn about my concerns the next time I see her just to ease my worries. Have you talked to your doctor?

Post # 13
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@PermaStudent:  this! I have migraines with aura as well and neither my GP or my neurologist ever said to stop taking BC and I’ve been on it for 17 years as well. Man that’s annoying. Drs suck sometimes. 

Post # 14
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If you are worried and not ready, you should talk to your ob about having your ovarian reserve tested.  This test is no guarantee of anything since there are a lot of factors that affect fertility, but there are tests that only require a blood draw to estimate the quality of your eggs.  I have a child, and am not ready for a second, and my ob told me he advises his patients to finish having their children by the age of 40.  The risks of disabilities increase as women age, but there are increasingly sophisticated tests in the first trimester that are available to screen for disabilities.

Post # 15
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yep totally have an awful feeling I will be unable to have kids. I’ve told my bf this and he thinks I’m crazy.

Post # 16
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think this is a common fear among women. We try so hard to prevent pregnancies for years that once it’s time to start a family and we really want to get pregnant, we get nervous about it working.

I never thought too much about not being able to get pregnant until recently when I watched my sister-in-law struggle for over a year and a half with TTC. Now I’m paranoid about how long it will take DH and I. You’ll never know until you try though!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors