Worried that a friend expects to be MOH, but I already chose someone else…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@kb7:  First I would wait to pick a date and be 100% sure the out-of-state MOH can make it before feelings get hurt (just in case). Second, are you sure you have to have this MOH? How will she help you from states away? I mean, if this other BM has to do all the work without the title I bet it will result in a lot of hurt feelings/resentment.  No way you could have two MOHs? Just a though. And finally, if you just have to have this MOH and you know that the BM will be expecting it to be her I would make sure to go have a lunch or dinner with her and break it to her gently rather than just ignore it. Let her know she’s still important to you.

Post # 5
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think that after you set a date, you just ask this friend to be a bridesmaid.  You don’t owe her an explanation of why she’s not your MOH.  However, if she does ask (which I think would be incredibly rude), you just explain that you have a good friend whom you’ve already asked to fill that role, but that you’d love her to be a BM.

Honestly, she may have expect to be your MOH, but that doesn’t obligate you to make her your MOH or explain to her why she’s not.

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