Post # 1
I have been wondering about picking my bridal party and how to go about it.
Were any of you ever worried about offending friends by not choosing them in your bridal party? Some of my closest/best friends from high school were asking about my bridal party the other day. The thing is… we aren’t as close as we used to be and I don’t think they would understand me not choosing them for my bridal party. I’m looking at choosing my two sisters, my lifelong friend/second sister and possibly her sister, as well as my FI’s sister. Pretty much, I’m just looking to have people I consider family. I used to consider my HS friends that way, but not anymore. I’m not sure they understand that though…
Has anyone ran into this problem before?
Post # 3
Yeah, it’s tough picking bridesmaids. I didn’t want a huge bridal party at first, but I ended up with 6 bridesmaids, which I think is on the big side. It’s basically a best friend from every “stage” in my life. But if you keep it as family only, I think you’ll be able to avoid hurting people’s feelings. How many people would it be if you included everyone who expects to be a bridesmaid?
Post # 4
I think it’s good that you are choosing to have people in your wedding party that are considered to be family. You don’t want to look at those wedding pics down the road and see someone you never talk to in a whole lot of them. Hopefully your high school girl friends will understand.
Maybe you give them less important jobs at your wedding? Someone to have people sign the guest book, maybe someone to do a reading or sing a song during the ceremony? Just a suggestion:)
Post # 5
yeah but you get over it.
Post # 6
That sounds like a fantastic idea! I might have to go with that! 🙂
Post # 8
Yes, its hard to make these decisions, and its even harder not to offend someone. I picked family and only two close friends to make a party of six and still faced backlash. One of my highschool friend’s mother lashed out at me for not picking her daughter claiming that she could see I wasn’t a “real friend” and that are friendship “clearly didn’t mean anything.” To play it safe, my sister only put family in her party, and still she had a friend upset that she wasn’t picked. In the end, you can’t focus on how you think people will react. Just choose people that you know you will not regret having in your party, people you know will appreciate it, and people you know you’ll still be friends with you years to come. The rest, if they care for you enough, will learn to be happy with you choices.
Post # 9
It’s hard to pick bridesmaids because women are so sensitive but I just picked my very best friends and everyone else can suck it.
Post # 10
All of you make great points! My friends are the type who are over sensitive. I seem to never be able to make the right decision with them sometimes which makes me wonder why I’m friends with them in the first place! Oh well, I agree. I’m choosing people who have been like sisters to me. Two of the girls are my oldest friends! My little sister and I grew up with them. Plus, their mom is my mom’s best friend. She’s basically my second mom. My FI’s sister is already like a sister to me and of course my two sisters. So, in a way it is like I’m picking just family. Hopefully, my friends can understand that. If not, they can get over it or as Lindsaygooding said, “Everyone else can suck it.” 🙂
Post # 11
I ran into the same problem. I was actually in my friend’s wedding back in 2004 and didn’t ask her to be in mine because we just aren’t as close as we used to be. I felt bad but realized I just wanted to be surrounded by people I was close to int he present, and also people my fiance was close to, not people I used to be close to.
I’m sure other people have suggested it, but maybe there are other options for you to include them. Maybe as ushers or readers or candle lighters, things like that.
Most importantly, I think maybe they won’t be as upset as you think they will be.
Post # 12
Let’s hope so! I think giving them jobs such as ushers or readers or guestbook/gift attendents would be a great way of incorporating them in the wedding so they don’t feel hurt. You ladies are great! I love my fellow bees!!! 🙂
Post # 13
I picked with entirely different criteria.
My maids were not picked on who my best friends were. I have best friends who have not supported my relationship as *much* as some of my other “good” friends. So while you think I might choose my best friends, I did not. I choose my “good friends” who have supported me, him and the relationship. And yes, the “best friends” were offended but only slightly.