Post # 1
As some of you know, I am planning a wedding from around 8000 miles away. It’s only a destination wedding for FH and I – we moved to Korea a year and a half ago and are getting married back in the US nearish to our family and friends.
We don’t make a lot, it’s more than enough for our livestyle here but back home is more expensive so we’re keeping it small (which also makes planning MUCH easier to handle, I’m serious, a smaller guest list makes a world of difference not just in budget but in work/time spent.) About 50 people.
We’re ipodding instead of DJing, not getting flowers (using alternatives for decor/etc.), got a package venue/catering/cake deal, all to try and minimize the number of cows we have to herd on the day of – fewer guests, fewer vendors, basically trying to reduce potential failure points. But we still have to do everything over email.
I keep trying to keep my expectations low, but it’s hard. I daydream a lot about it and I have all these images in my head of what I want it to be like, and I’m worrying (probably excessively, as I do when I get into that worrying mood) that things will go wrong because of the still big number of unknowns.
Did/does anyone else worry that the reality of their wedding won’t live up to their hopes? (For those who are married, did it?)
Post # 3
I think it’s natural to worry so I wouldn’t worry (lol) that you are an oddball. I did all of the wedding myself so I was worrying, and it caught up with me. The night of the rehearsal dinner (held at the venue of the reception) I was in the bathroom, feeling faint. We had planned to decorate the venue after the rehearsal dinner. Luckily, my saving grace was the fact that I was so hyper organized, labled everything, and had discussed the details with a few prominent family members to they could oversee it all. They were coming in to the bathroom and just asking me questions. I couldn’t believe that everything got put together so quickly and just the way I had imagined it to be. Were a few things off that I had pictured differently? Of course. But did it matter? NO. At that point I was worried I was getting the stomach flu everyone else had. Luckily, I was well the next day, but felt a little queasy because of nerves. By the time I got into the church for the ceremony, those nerves had subsided. I had a blast, and the day went even better than I had imagined. It was cold, but we had a nice sunny day! Even the mistakes of the day seemed to turn out for the better. I think once you accept the fact that things will probably go wrong but ultimately it will be the day that you start your lives together, it is easier to go with the flow, and the smallest detail that didn’t go as planned won’t even be a blip on your guests’ radars. You will be the only one who knew! Just try to enjoy it… it really does go fast!
Post # 4
drop the expectations. Your day will be wonderful because it will be your wedding day! Don’t let the stress get to you; if you are stressed, you are doing it wrong. As long as you host your guests well you have nothing to worry about. What will be, will be and at the end of the day you will be MARRIED!
Post # 5
My wedding day didn’t go as well as I hoped it would and it really all comes down to this topic – expectations. The reason my wedding wasn’t as great as I hoped is because nothing could have ever matched my expectations. I urge you to go into your day expecting nothing more than to be super excited and happy to marry your fiance. Everything else is just icing.
Post # 6
My wedding was different than what I expected, but I still had the best time of my life. But I wasn’t stressed at all — people kept remarking how not-stressed I was the days leading up and the morning of (though I did have a mini-break down the day of, but that’s another story hahah). I think that being able to roll with the punches and realizing that things might not go EXACTLY according to plan means that your day will be better. And it allows for things even better than what you expected to happen.
Post # 7
@Bebealways: i was like this for a while until this week. Then I realized whatever happens Saturday is what happens. I have one goal- Get Married! if that goal succeeds then all went well Saturday. You will be thrown into a daze no matter how big or small the wedding. just the nerves and excitement of it all!
Post # 8
I had so many worries about how my wedding would go, logistically, family-drama, vendor issues, etc. A friend gave me good advice though – something will go wrong, but 99% of the time you & FI are going to be the only ones who notice. So yea, there were little things here and there that went differently than I expected but overall the day was 1000xs better than I could have ever imagined. We still comment all the time about how we can’t believe how well it went. So just relax and enjoy the day with your FI, as long as you’re marrying your love it’ll be the best day of your life!