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I have one from the POV of a bridesmaid! I was in a friend's wedding. Her MIL was a bitch to me. At the bridal shower she asked me what I did and I told her I was a teacher and she said wow they must be desperate for teachers. Then the wedding was OOT for me. It was wicked hot, the traffic was insane! I had to find my own hotel because the bride didn't block any rooms and it was the middle of summer during tourist season which I didn't realize because I am not from there. So I was lucky to get the roach infested room I did get. (not kidding). The church was sweltering I hadn't had time to eat because I was stuck in traffic for 4 HOURS. The bride had a table for her and her groom and thier 2 MOH and 2 Best men at the reception. The other bm and gm were relatives/gf and bf of family members so they sat up close with family. I was placed all the way in the furthest corner with the "only invited them because we had to" people. We were the last to get food and it was cold by the time we got it. I got them a really nice gift for bridal shower and wedding. No thank you card for either and no gift for being in the bridal party. I for one LOVED being a bridesmaid! ;P
OMG that's awful!! Haha, well it definitely goes both ways. Sometimes I read things on here that brides are doing, whether it's making their maids buy $500 dresses, or treating them like slaves. Horrible!! I guess there are inconsiderate people on both sides of the fence lol!
lol I don't know what it is about weddings that makes people go crazy lol. It's like wow, I never noticed this before, how could I have missed it?? hahaha btw I don't understand why you wouldn't want to have your bridal shower at McDonald's. I mean come on who doesn't love the smell of sweat and dirty socks! lol :) And seriously a broken roof rack??? or a roof rack in general?? haha craziness
my bridesmaid has decided to get married 3 days after me during the week of my destination wedding! so now she is so preoccupied with her own wedding that she is not really there for me a BM at all. she never got engaged or anything. just her and her boyfriend decided since they will be there for my wedding, why not have a wedding of their own! and then when it came time to book, she tried to dictate WHERE we get married - like she tried to pick a resort out of my budget! i had to put my foot down there and luckily i won! althoguh that was after she told me she was making concessions and i wasn't and it wasn't fair!
That is terrible!
Seriously what is it about weddings that brings out the worst in some people.
I was just maid of honor in my sister's wedding on the weekend, the other bridesmaid had her mobile phone shoved down the front of her dress and proceeded to take it out and turn it off ( insert bad phone turning off noise here ) when we were all standing in front of the minister!
The groomsmen were out of control too... they changed out of their suits half way through the reception!!!!
Ok my story... Nearly a year ago...
Firstly, my bridesmaid was asked as she was my oldest (30 years) friend, and I had been in her wedding that failed after a year or so of marriage.
Pre wedding, she found it appropriate to make statements such as "no, you are not wearing/ doing that, I won't let you" Ahem, you don't get to choose missy!
She made the comment in front of my MOH that if she had to wear a size 14 dress (equivalent US size 10 or so) that she would DIE. MOH is a size 18.. That went down well.
On the day itself she got drunk & against his will, grinded (picture lapdance), my Uncle with his wife sitting there next to him agog...
She then took over from the DJ and did impromptu Kareaoke. Without consultation. Singing very badly.
To top of the night, as her on again off again boyfriend (no, they did not live together, and broke up 6 times during our engagement) was not invited, she took the liberty of sleeping with my brother to pay me back!
She was one classy chick : )
Where do I start??? Lol
First of all, I basically have NO MOH since my sister/MOH is finishing up Army Basic Training. She won't be able to attend the wedding at all...and I'm pretty devastated about it because we were so close growing up. That's not my bad bm story thought...lol.
My "best friend" and bridesmaid said she would be a "stand in" maid of honor for me and do all the little things MOHs do for you. But she hasn't done anything but make life more stressful! I tried to be a laid back bride and let them buy whatever dresses in purple they wanted. One of them picked uber conservative, the other picked slutty. So I decided to step in and make life easier for everyone and just pick a dress they could order or buy.
Fast forward to november. I've picked a dress and I'm trying to get everyone to the store to try it on. I understand we all have crazy schedules, so I make several different trips to Davids Bridal to make sure no one has to go alone. My best friend (I'll call her B to make it easier) ends up buying a dress almost 2 sizes too small and says "I'll fit in it by the wedding, I swear".
So fast forward again to March/April. So far I've done ALL diy projects alone because one of my bridesmaids (I'll call her L) is always too tired to do anything with me. B is always promising to come over and then bailing. Whatever. I like projects and I can handle it no big deal. I asked B to plan my bachelorette party. I told her what I wanted to do and even showed her a hotel I really liked and she. never. booked. So when I went to book the hotel myself it was booked completely and so were most of the other hotels nearby. B's friends ended up booking hotels for our group instead of B.
By this time I'm thoroughly annoyed. B also missed my first fitting that I invited her to and had no excuse, didn't even call or text. She would be fired by now if this were a job lol. She also never really lost the weight and kept avoiding me when I tried to get her to come pick up her dress and see if it fit.
To really add insult to injury she gets an attitude with me when I say things like "Are you coming over tonight? Let me know ahead of time...I waited up for you last night and you didnt call or text" She'll says something like "OMG, really??"
The final thing that's upsetting me about her is this: One day we were emailing back and forth while at work and I say "Man, I could really go for Mexican, you in?" and she emails back "Well, I went last night. I didn't invite you because you're skinny and I feel bad about myself when I'm around you and feeling fat in restaurants" Really? How OLD are you??? I don't control you or your size and I have NEVER made any comments about her weight or her size to her EVER. I'm not mean.
So now I pretty much feel alone. I havent asked for much and have been a pretty zen, low key bride. Idk what I did wrong. But I do know that weddings really show you who people are!
@frustrated: I can't even get over that she would book her wedding along with yours. How WEIRD. People have no shame. NO SHAME lol.
@kate169: I was just shaking my head the whole time I read your comment! It reminded me so much of my own bridesmaids. The two in charge of planning the bachelorette party never did, just like yours! Now, plane tix are triple what they used to be, my fav hotel is booked, and we had to just call it off because they hadn't done ANY leg work. Now my bachelorette party is local and they are starting to plan, but fighting with the other bridesmaids the whole time :( I said since we're doing local, I at least would like to go clubbing in a party bus or limo. I find out from one bridesmaid that the rest of them are basically voting to nix the limo/party bus idea completely because it's just "too expensive." They want us to either drive ourselves, or take a taxi. By the way, there are 20 girls. As if flagging down like 5 taxis every time we want to go to the next place is really going to work...and by the way, the limo divided up by 20 would be less than $30 a person. They also want to just drink before we go out so we don't have to actually buy drinks in the clubs. O.M.G.!
Ok, my story isn't as bad as some mentioned above. I guess my story is more on poor etiquette.I was a BM for my BF's wedding 2 years ago. I think I spent over $1,200.00 to be in her wedding (she lives in CA, so cost of flight, hotel, rental car, dress, gift etc). The whole time I was there, I felt like I was treated like crap. I understand it's her day, and there was a lot going on, but I've known her for almost 20 years, and i just felt completely snubbed by her, and her family. The day of the wedding when we were at the salon getting our hair done, she complimented everyone on their hair but me. She literally looked at me and then looked at the other girls and told them "Wow, your hair looks awesome" Ooookay? I never received a verbal or written thank you for her bridal shower and wedding gift and for just being in her wedding. I can get over the feeling of being snubbed, but not to say thanks still burns my ass. So, fast forward to this year, she will be a BM in my wedding, and let's just say that even though I will make it a point to thank her for everything, I am not going to go out of my way to be super nice to her.
Well here is my story.. My BM was chosen because she was my oldest friend (something like 20 years).. she is also the godmother to my daughter. She has helped me out a ton at a low point in my history and I thought we were very close. WELL, She moved to Cali with no plan.. had some roomates (which is fine.. because she is still young, has no family etc) and decided to take up acting. Well her lease ended and FI and I did not want her to be homeless and live out of her car so we asked her to move into my daughter's room to give her a bit of time to figure her ish out.. (oh, I live in FL currently with my daughter..so it was just her and FI living together which is fine because I trust both of them completely) and find a new place to live. Well long story short.. a month later.. FI asked her to move out (without my knowledge) and thats where the drama started. Her sister FB messaged me the next day and called me a bitch and blah blah blah.. I tried to explain that I did not know any of this was happening.. Her other sister started saying crazy shit like I was a theif and stupid crap like that. whatever..I just wanted to make things right with the BM..when she came to FL I invited her to do some wedding stuff with me and I took her out to lunch and thought we settled everything. We spoke about it.. I explained myself and that I did not know any of this was happening and she seemed fine and said she understood yada yada. come to find out BM's mom ended up telling everyone in trinidad (where we are both from) that I kicked her daughter out and she was homeless...:-/ And it got back to my grandmother...who in turn contacted my mother. When my mom went back to trinidad for a visit.. BM totally ignored my mom (VERY RUDE IN MY CULTURE) even when her sister came up to say hi. And did the same with my grandma. Needless to say...she is out. I tried to fix things with her and in turn she tells her mom whatever she wanted to and when it started affecting my family is where I had to draw the line.
Yeah I asked one of my longest friends to be a bridesmaid, she agrees. She gets engaged shortly thereafter, and plans for her wedding to be the week after I wanted my wedding to be. I then move things around, it would be a week after her "date" and she tells me she can't come because she'll be on her honeymoon. Okay, so wanting her to be there, I change my date to the end of August to make sure everything is clear. A month later tells me she may not be able to come. And a month after that, after I drag it out of her on GCHAT she tells me she's not coming to the wedding. No apology. That was awesome. Friend of 14 years. But on the upside, the girl who took her place has been such an amazing bridesmaid. Sometimes things happen for a reason.
Yikes ladies. I have to say, I have great bridesmaids. I'm also not being picky about stuff and not asking for help with anything, but they are handling the bridal shower and bachelorette parties and so far, so good. After my sister had a bridesmaid wait until the last second to get her dress and after a bride forced my 8 month pregnant sister to wear 4 inch heels to match the other bridesmaids, I have a respect for both being a bridesmaid and dealing with bridesmaids.
My MOH/Sister hooked up with my husband's brother (and best man) the week leading up to the wedding (their first time meeting), and with other groomsmen on our wedding night! We're going to have some fun/awkward reunions!
@MrsNeutrino: Did it not concern you that your FI kicked your friend out of the house without consulting you or at the very least telling you or giving an explanation. There seems to be a giant hole in your story....?
My brother went to a wedding where the MOH (who was the sister of the bride) basically forced her boyfriend to propose to her AT THE RECEPTION. Not a joke. WHO DOES THAT???
@Moose1209: He didn't kick her out. After a month of her being there he asked when she was leaving.. and she decided to leave right then. the huge hole is that she was moving into my territory.. she wanted to go grocery shopping with my FI.. always asking him to go out with her...(even when he declined).. Would expect him to make dinner for her when she got home?! It got way too strange for me! He saw this and asked her when she was leaving.
@Atalanta: I see your point. . .but I didn't say I was going to be mean to her. I'm just not going out of my way like i used to in the past. I've come to realize that even though she is still a great friend and person, she is who she is, and I know my place with her now. I don't know how else to explain it.
I just posted this on another post. Here's the condensed version. My two bridesmaids who have never fought before in our 10+ years being friends decided to have a huge blow out the night before my wedding. My one bridesmaid thought the other one was hitting on her boyfriend and the fight got so loud it turned into a screaming match in the middle of our hotel lobby! Both girls were screaming and swearing as I was trying to pull them a part. They were both so wrapped up in their fighting they started screaming at me telling me to"F**k off" and "Shut the f**k up this doesn't invlove you.." etc. etc. My father came running over with my uncle and they each had to grab a girl. Obviously the girls felt aweful about this afterward, but for a moment we were 100% in the crazy house and everyone was staring. I was mortified....
@west.coast.blonde: LOL that is so cliche to happen at a wedding. My bridesmaids do their share of arguing, but no fist fights yet! :)
Wow! Mine isn't quite as bad as the above but here goes:
FI and I decided on no +1s for our wedding. I informed BM of this and she wasn't happy. Two days later she sends a text that she doesn't want to come to my wedding without a date. It was a bit shocking as she will know at least 20 people in attendance. We talked on the phone later in the day and I tried to explain where we were coming from. Instead of being the least bit understanding, she flipped out. She cussed me out, called me a 'f----d up person' told me she didn't give a s--t about my family. Told me that the most important day of my life wasn't work coming to without a date. Said that I'm not really a friend to her unless I allowed her to bring someone. More cussing, more cussing... then she hung up on me!
I haven't talked to her since, she is not only out of the bridal party, but no longer invited to the wedding. It sucks because I love her, but I can't imagine EVER treating a good friend like that (it wasn't the first time) and the last thing I need is any drama surrounding my wedding.
In the end, another very close girlfriend, who I had originally asked to be in the wedding but didn't think she could afford it, was able to be in it and I couldn't be more pleased. I want to be surrounded by love on my big day, not drama!!
When I was MOH for my sister, a BM she had felt obligated to ask in the first place asked me to hold tissues for her during the ceremony because she just knew she was going to cry (hello? my sister here!). She made us late to the reception because she had to go to the store to buy tums. Everywhere wee turned, she was trying to make the day about her. It just got so frustrating.
Wow ladies! These stories are disheartening. My bridesmaids were awesome! I didn't ask for anything though. I let them pick what ever dress they want, paid for it, their rooms, and didn't care if I get a shower or bach party. They threw me some awesome parties anyway. I had so much fun. I hate hearing all these stories.
I have 'maid who:
@vabride2011: I had something very similar happen for my wedding.
DH and I decided for the wedding that we would allow our bridal party +1s. Well MOH never sent an RSVP card and never let us know if she was bringing someone. So about a month before the wedding I gently asked her if she was bringing someone because we needed to know for the head count. She said I don't know, let me see if I scrounge someone up. Ummm, ok, the invites have been out for over a month and you've known about this for a year but sure I can give you an extra day. Well then she calls and says, hey my ex is going to come with. Her ex is not someone that my DH and I got along with at all, he had physically and emotionally abused my friend, they got into screaming matches, it was awful. DH says, I'm sorry but she can't bring him, he is not welcome at my wedding, I'm not having you or any of our family and friends on drama watch to make sure those two don't try to kill each other. Well she gets pissed at him but seems to accept his reasoning. Then a day later she says her ex's feelings are hurt because we don't want him there so to placate him she's going to leave the reception 3 hours early to go hang with him. Yeah, when I said you are either there for the whole thing or don't bother coming she decided not to come. It's been long enough now that I can see where I wasn't as reasonable as I should have been, but the date debacle was the straw that broke the camel's back, between her negative criticism of my wedding choices (I would never have fake flowers, that's stupid, when I get married I'll make sure I have money for the flowers I want) , flaking on plans (she scheduled something the same day as my shower and bolted early), and making every little thing about her (I want a makeup artist, so I will hire one for myself) I think I really only tried to hold on to the friendship towards the end because she was in the wedding.
@MrsDibs: wow. he was physically and emotionally abusive to her and yet his feelings were hurt cuz he wasn't welcome. awwww let me get my little violin out! And then she chose him and their defunct relationship over her friendship with you! I'm sorry that just kills me, I had a friend just like that and I still just don't get it. He treated you like poo poo, what is the appeal???
This is why I asked my brothers to be my attendants... they just do whatever I tell them to and I know not to expect anything else. No fights about dresses, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, back stabbing, gossipping, or any other type of drama. Universe bless me with sons, please!!
@ORella2012: boys can be just as catty..and more violent! lol I can't tell you how many times my aunt ended up in the emergency room with her 2 boys (broken arms, dislocated shoulders, chipped/ knocked out teeth) be careful what you wish for!!! haha
Update! I asked one of my BMs to step down. I couldn't take it anymore. Her demands just got too unbearable and the stress level was just too high. I just don't think it's right that I should spend more time babysitting and playing the mediator than actually doing things for me and my wedding!
Three of my 5 bridesmaids are amazing but the other two have been a little troublesome. I've been a really relaxed bride and have allowed the girls to pick out their dresses as long as they are black and short, choose their shoes and have only asked for help if they can spare some time.
Maid of Honor (my little sister) lives in NC and is still unsure of how she's getting home for the wedding or when she'll be here. She waited to order her dress until last week and then didn't have the money so my mom (who is unemployed) said she'd pay for it. She has a job, granted its minimum wage, but spends all her extra income on "questionable recreation" if you get my drift. Super frustrating!
BM #1 has been the biggest problem though. First she tried to convince me to let the BMs wear flip flops for the ceremony when I'm having a formal church wedding just because she doesn't want to wear heels. Even went behind my back to have my FH and other BMs convince me to allow the flip flops. When I stuck to my guns about black shoes with at least a slight heel, she complained for 6 months how she couldn't find any shoes.
On top of that, she thought she could invited her parents, who we don't know well, to our reception so they could watch her 1 year old. We told her we didn't have the space. So she again, went behind my back to my FH and wrote us an email asking us to reconsider. Again we stuck to our guns and told her there was no reason her husband couldn't watch him.
Then at my bridal shower this weekend, she did absolutely nothing to help my other BMs. She not only didn't respond to messages about planning it but she never RSVPed even. At least she showed up. She didn't help monetarily or help set up or take down anything.
But she made comments throughout the whole thing in front of all my guests that made me look like a bitch. First she implied that everything on our registry was only for me and that I was taking over my FHs house so they got a gift that was for him instead of me. WTF? We registered together and made all the decisions together. Then while taking my bows to put together a rehearsal bouquet for me, she said that she wasn't going to put much effort into it because I'd probably just redo it anyway because I'm such a perfectionist.
I'm just waiting to see what she's going to pull on the day of my wedding!
@PurpleUnicorn: Sadly, the demands have stacked up. Most of them were in relation to money or my bachelorette party though. My BM planning the shower asked each girl for $30 to put toward the shower's expenses. She complained and insisted the shower could be done for free. She complained that the BM dresses being strapless was "weird for a wedding" and "too sexy." She told my BM planning the bachelorette party that drinking and clubbing was immoral and anything regarding male dancers was disgusting. We changed the party so she'd come. Then she admitted she was actually complaining mainly because of cost. We lowered the cost even more (around $100) and then she insisted she be able to bring her family. Her whole family. Mom, dad, brother. To my bachelorette party weekend in SF. Finally I told her not to come at all. Then she went behind my back and attempted to stage a bridesmaid mutiny against me and have them all drop out unless I agreed to pay for more for them. I think you can see why I asked her to step down...
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Hi girls! Over the past 6 months, I have to say that I've really worked up some horrid stories about bridesmaids. I'm almost thinking of writing a book! I mean, I had once bridesmaid go back to the company we ordered dresses from and change her dress to FOUR sizes smaller, I had a bridesmaid suggest a "kid-friendly" place like McDonald's for my bridal shower (no, I don't have kids!), and another bridesmaid suggest her broken roof rack from her car as a potential wedding gift. So tell me, what is YOUR worst bridesmaid story?? I mean, all you can really do sometimes is laugh ;)