- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I have been dealing with a co-worker who is quite frankly rude and obnoxious. To a certain extent, I have been able to just brush it off and move on. This past week, it escalated to a real impass between us, that (thankfully) my boss caught half of. Some of the actions involved included nodding obnoxiously and putting up a “thumbs up” sign as I was speaking as if to say “yeah, I got it, you can stop talking” and throwing a book bag down while growling/looking up toward the ceiling. I’m not going to type out every little bit of the exchange, but it was totally inappropriate to have happen at work, I shut down and stopped trying to communicate with this individual after I realized they weren’t going to stop being a jerk. Non-verbally, I was giving every clue that I was annoyed and would not be engaging them in this sort of confrontation, and therefore not letting it escalate like it could have. Because my boss saw half of it, they called a meeting (a friendly meeting) where we all gave our interpretation of the events. I was happy to finally have the opportunity to voice my point of view. I’m struggling because the other person involved claims they did not know they were doing anything wrong, they didn’t know I was giving any non-verbal clues, and as I went over the events that were upsetting to me they flat out denied having done the actions I witnessed. When I re-played it for them, some of the things they claimed were not offensive. Since then, I’ve kind of been at a loss on the whole situation. They have been such a jerk to me on serveral different occassions. Did they not know (at any of these points) how rude they were being? Lastly, because this happened earlier in the week, and we work in a fairly large company, I had mentioned it to a close friend/co-worker who said this person suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome and therefore really does NOT know that I was giving off non-verbal cues as to the inappropriateness of the situation. I’m not real familliar with AS, so I’m wondering if someone can shed a little light here for me. Is this typical? Is there a way I can handle this better? What am I doing wrong? Should I just expect to continually be treated like this? I just need to know how to handle my situation. I’m not about putting anyone down or labeling anymore or creating problems, I 100% want to know how to make this work.