Post # 1
My FI (hehe) proposed to me wednesday, It was the absolute happiest day of my life! I was so excited to share the news so we began to call and text close family and friends so we could tell them personally rather than them finding out on FaceBook or through somone else. Everyone was super excited and had the reaction one would expect. There was one “friend” (I use that term loosley) who was not excited at all. Her and I were best friends in HS, she still considers me a bestfriend I however dont consider her a bestfriend becuase she is a negative person and as the years progressed we drifted apart. anyhow, when I told her my now FI proposed (via text) she said absolutely nothing… I didnt realize it at the time bc I was texting back and forth with so many people. Then she finally called me and said “I dont even know how to feel about this, I am just ughhh” she also said “I just feel some kind of way and I had to get myself togehter before I called you”. I was sooooo confused and I told her she shouldnt feel anything but happy for me, and she said “I am not talking about you, I am talking about me”. I then said “well this moment is about me and my FI so call me tomorrow and I can talk about you”.
I dont know what the hell her problem is but I really think I want to cut her off and not invet her to my wedding. Am I overreacting or do I need to cut her off?
Post # 3
Your decision to make. I’ve come to realize that as I go through diff stages of my life, some friends are gently weeded out and new ones are made. You can see how she behaves during your engagement to decide if she’s getting an invite.
Post # 4
I have a friend who I could easily picture saying something like that to me. I keep her at arms length. It sucks, but some people are just..selfish? I don’t know if that’s the right word, maybe self aborsobed. It’s natural to think about how things affect you when they happen, but it’s a whole different ballgame to verbalize those thoughts at the inappropriate time and to the wrong people.
Post # 5
Sounds like she’s going through some stuff & isn’t in the frame of mind to be happy for you right now. I think you need to be a bit more sensitive to what she’s feeling. I know this is an exciting time for you but peoples lives don’t come to a halt because you got engaged.
Also, if that’s what you consider the “worst friend ever”… I dunno… :S
Post # 6
She sounds very dramatic. Give the friendship some time and wait to see if you’re going to invite her or not you don’t have a date yet and things change.
Congrats on the engagement!!!!!
Post # 7
She’s jealous. :/ Sorry to hear about her reaction, but give it some time and (hopefully) she’ll realize how ridiculous she is being. If not.. well, you’ve already said you’re not best friends anymore. It doesn’t sound like it would be a huge deal for you to cut her out of your life if she’s going to react coldly to you.
Post # 8
Cut her off. No one needs someone who is negative and selfish. What does she do for you or bring to your life? Sounds like NADA. Peace bitch!
Congrats! Ring pic?
Post # 9
I don’t think you should necessarily cut her out, because that causes more stress than simply allowing yourselves to drifting apart. I certainly would not put her in the bridal party, given what you’ve said about her negative tendencies, but if you feel that you can invite her to the wedding and be distracted enough with others to ignore her, it would probably be ok.
Post # 10
I definitely have an ex best friend who was gold medalist of 2011 in “worst friend ever”. You can put her up in the 2013 category though if you’d like lol I say ignore her, don’t make her part of your bridal party, & if you have managed to not talk to her throughout the engagement, maybe you can get away with not inviting her & ending the friendship. I’m sorry she reacted poorly and selfishly and wasn’t able to contain her jealousy. Congrats on your engagement!!
Post # 11
Lol,i made a post about a similar friend when i got engaged.
Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.
Dont let her ruin your glow. It was super hard for me to get over her super weird, jealous reaction…but i know you will! It’s not you, it’s her. If you two arent that close,i would consider just drifting away. Ive found that the engagement period really shows the true colors of those around you.
Post # 12
I think she was just saying that she has something going on and needed to get it together before she called you. It’s hard to be happy for someone when you have you have your own issues. She should have tried alittle harder yes.. but maybe it would have been helpful if you would have asked her what was wrong.
Post # 13
By worst friend ever are you talking about yourself?? She is obviously going through something and instead of asking her about it you just want to cut her out of your life. Nice.
Post # 14
I had a best friend who was like this. Never happy for me, always jealous. Eventually I realized I had to end the friendship because it was basically like a dysfunctional relationship. Just because someone is a friend-friend doesn’t mean we should put up with behavior we wouldn’t put up with in a romantic relationship (at least that’s the comparison I make to myself).
I’m sorry your friend isn’t excited for you, but it’s only a reflection of the kind of person she is. Anyone that would try to spoil such an important moment in your life isn’t worth your time IMHO.
Post # 15
@MrsRugbee: @padme: I agree with both of these posters. Yes, it sucks that your friend didn’t make the moment all about you, but it does sound as though she’s got other issues going on.
Some posters are saying it’s jealousy – so what if it is? Whatever the emotion is, it’s clearly affecting her to the point she feels she can’t respond happily to the news of your engagement. To say she actually needed to pull herself together before she could even speak to a recently engaged person seems to indicate some pretty crazy emotional issues.
Post # 16
@jigga143: doesn’t seem like she’s interested if your life anymore, move on?