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A cheap necklace that broke about 5 minutes after I got it the morning of the wedding. I was supposed to wear said necklace at the wedding, and the mother of the bride (who picked out the gifts and vetoed the original gifts the bride wanted to give us) had the audacity to yell at me AT the bridesmaids brunch for breaking it. I literally just touched it and the clasp broke.
The worst gift was no gift.
The second worst gift was a box of chocolates, which would have been a fabulous idea normally, but they were all nut-filled and I'm allergic to tree nuts. :(
The worst gift I got was an extremely cheap earrings/necklace set that turned my neck green almost immediately.
The only bride I've been a BM for gave us all cheap, tacky necklaces that turned my skin green, bath products from Ross that I never used fearing they'd irritate my skin, and a random self-help/inspirational style book (pretty sure she also found this at ross).
Now, I know it could have been worse, but c'mon. We we all 20-21 and broke. We had to pay for our nails, makeup and hair to be done in addition to our ugly $300 dress. She could have at least put a little thought into each gift.
The worst one I got was a necklace/earrings set to match the dress... made out of tiny beads, very... interesting, and about 4 inches wide.
It's. Special.
The bride loved them though, we wore them for her wedding and she was thrilled.
The wedding itself was the best one I have ever been to - that was the best part, just how much fun it was.
Probably the gift I just got from my MOH's wedding. She gave us all make-up bags with our name embroidered on them and a zipper tag that says "Thank you" on it. Honestly, I know it is a useful gift in the sense that I needed a new make-up bag, but it's the generic nature (giving the exact same present to all the girls)of the gift that was sort of disappointing. I also recognize this is a popular way to gift your bridesmaids, because people seem to think personalization makes a present personal but this gift is a good example of why that isn't true. Having my name printed on something doesn't make it a thoughtful or personal gift, it just identifies it as mine. In any case, I love her so much and was so happy to be in her wedding, I really don't care. At least I can use it and it didn't turn any part of me green like some of your gifts, right??
This post makes me VERY glad I decided not to get the girls jewelry!
Come to think of it, I don't think we ever got anything for my cousin's wedding. That was the first wedding I was ever in, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get anything!
I really hope that none of your friends read Weddingbee. Imagine how awful they'd feel!
My worst gift was a pair of earrings, but only because I don't have pierced ears and my family member should have known that! (We traded it for a beautiful bracelet and had a good laugh so it all worked out in the end).
Fake gold earrings and necklace that came from claire's at the mall. The fake gold rubbed off on my neck during the day and the earrings made my ears infected. She must have spent $10 on them, if that. That was all we got and we only got that because she wanted us all to match. Apparently our own (real) jewellery was not good enough. The whole wedding was a nightmare.
A very cheesy black clutch handbag with glued on rhinestones or something like that (think something a pre-teen would use).
It's a matter of opinion. I happen to like personalized gifts. Quite a lot, actually. I like makeup bags too. For my recent wedding, I gave my BMs and MOH an expensive customized jewelry bag in our wedding color with their initial embroidered on it, earrings for wedding day (not cheap), a picture frame, photo album, silly purse hook... and my MOH got a few special/personal things because well, she was my right hand lady. I'm not sure if my bridal party consisted of extraordinary actors but they all seemed to genuinely love their gifts. I wanted to give them gifts that I would have been thrilled to receive. So, to each their own. It's the thought that counts, and as a true friend to the people who have asked me to be in their weddings I have appreciated their gestures of gratitude as well.
I just think that if you ask your girls to spend a lot of money on you, the bride, you should reciprocate with a nice gift. To not do so is sort of selfish IMO. "oh, spend $500 on me but i'll buy you a $20 gift to show my appreciation". I hate that. At least put some thought into it and make it sweet! Or, don't demand your girls spend that kind of dinero in the first place if you can't afford to treat them right when all is said and done.
My sisters are my bridesmaids so I flat out asked them what they'd like, I bought them each a sephora makeup kit since we are all doing our makeup ourselves that day, and I am thinking of surprising them with gas cards. They are both younger than me, one is just starting college and the other just finished medical assisting school so I know they could use them and would appreciate them. O and I'm gonna pick up cheap necklaces to match their dresses. They will prob not wear them ever again so why spend too much money.
@Flamingo78: I hope you didn't think I was taking a dig at a type of present you decided to give your bridesmaids! The reason I didn't like the gift is because every person got the same thing (which is what I meant by my awesome creation of the new word "Generic-ness" har). I suppose, in light of that fact, I shouldn't have even specified what the gift was, since that really wasn't the point for me. Sorry if my frankness was offensive!
Uh oh...
I got my girls make-up bags and an earring/necklace set. I hope they like them...
I got the most ugly glass necklace and earring set. It was a thick seethrough green ribbon holding a huge open heart green blown glass pendant about 4 inches wide that rested nicely in my cleavage underneath the dress (I am 5'1", 100 lbs.) The earrings were very large hot pink clay blobs that looked so bad with our forced updos.
Needless to say, it was the most fun wedding I've ever been to and at least the BRIDE liked our jewelery and she spent so much time picking it out. We just have very different taste.
@trish92609: Don't worry about the presents themselves at this point! I have to say, it's pretty obvious from reading everyone's comments that disliking the present was more of a cherry on top of a bridesmaid experience that was already bad for other reasons. In my case, I was disappointed with the gift I received, but it mattered very little because of the quality of the relationship I have with the bride.
I'm planning on getting them each a necklace from Etsy (ANORIGINALJEWELRY) made of gemstones for about $45 each. My 3 BMs will get stud earings($18) and my MOH will get pendant earings in a gemstone to match her necklace ($30). I'll also most likely be getting them a bath set from Philosophy.
They are each spending about $180 on their dresses (but they can totally be worn again), and are buying their own shoes of their choice.
Our hair and makeup is "free" because one of our friends is doing it, but I'm going to pay her anyway, even though she insists I don't. I will also most likely be taking them to get their nails done too.
All my girls are my best friends and completely understand that Mr. and I aren't rich by any means. I feel bad enough as it is that they have to pay for their own dresses. They have each already paid about $90 for their dresses, so I may ask the Mr. if we can swoop in and pay an extra $40 toward their dresses.
The only reason I don't feel guilted into buying them lots of things is because they aren't really here to help me do anything anyway, they are pretty much just showing up to the wedding. They all live on the maindland (I'm in Hawaii), so there isn't really much they can do from afar. As I see it, BMs gifts are thank you gifts. So, If they were helping me tons, it would be a "thank you for staying up till 3am tying stupid little bows and gluing on rhinestones", but they aren't, so it's pretty much a "thank you for being a great friend to me and buying $180 dress to wear to my wedding" present.
For my cousins wedding she gave me a picture frame that said "thanks" at the bottom of it and 2 places for pictures, which had her engagement picture in one place. Then she gave me a wedding photo of herself and the groom to put in the other place. It's been wrapped up in storage for the past 10 years!!
I am paying for my BMs hair and make-up...can I consider that to be a gift or do I need to also give them a "take-away?" The hair and make-up is not going to be cheap so I was hoping to let that be their gifts but after reading the comments above, I am beginnning to think that I'll be a flake if I don't give them something else as well.
I have yet to be a bridesmaid but a friend of mine was recently in a wedding where she had to buy 350 dollar plane ticket and her dress as well as her nails. There were no bridesmaids gifts yet the groomsmen recieved gifts.
I thought this was horrible.
i was in a cousin's wedding and not only did her mom handmade the worst looking bm dresses for us to wear, she also gave us jewelry that you can find in the 99cent store and made a huge deal about how it was swarovski crystals. (it was not)
however, now that i am a bride i am also giving my girls a mish-mash gift bag of some of the bad things you all mentioned here like the jewelry (necklace, bracelet, earrings which i made for each of my eight girls), a fabric coin pouch from etsy with a little crystal on it. (uh oh. hope they don't hate it), and inside a necklace fr. dog-eared collection and a jewelry stand. i thought i could afford way more than what their ending up with but last minute budget problems are preventing that!
I got no gift from my step-cousin. That was my first time as a bridesmaid. I had been a flower girl, and junior bridesmaid before. I think it was just the cherry on top of a horrible bridesmaid experience. Just like West Cost Bride said. I almost wish I could put her through the toture she put me. But, I want to acutally be friends with my bridesmaids.
Yup, another cheap necklace and cheap picture frame over here, after spending lots of money on a dress I'll never wear again -- to be an "usher." It's my fault for saying yes in the first place!
@fruitcakes - you don't have to get them a gift, but taking the time to write a genuinely thoughtful card is a really nice idea. Writing something about why you chose them or thanking them for how special and helpful they've been over the last month/year/lifetime is really kind.
Paying for hair/dress/nails/whatever these days is not as typical as I thought it might be, but I really don't think you need to gift them on top of that, as long as you give them a card or acknowledge their contribution in some way.
Hm. The first wedding I was in, I don't think I got a BM gift. However, I did not have to buy my dress and the groom bought the shoes. My mom made the dresses (although the groom offered to pay her). The second was an OOT wedding. I bought my ticket out there, but the bride picked us/delivered us to the airport, paid for accomodations and food, arranged for some sighseeing, and bought our dresses. She gave us souvenir tshirts. The third wedding, I received a very nice clock, but had to pay to get fabric for my dress (my mom made my dress & the bride's dress as a gift to the bride). That bride paid for my hair & makeup. The fourth wedding, I got fabric for my dress. That was it. Of course they didn't bother to tell me if there was a rehersal or anything else. The last wedding, my mom made the dresses, but we did not pay for the fabric (I think my mom got a really nice gift from the bride). I suspect I got some trinket jewelry to wear and a small silverplated box. And probably something else that was not memorable.
However, the nicest thing I got from all the brides (except the 4th--remember I got nothing from her) were prints of me with the bride and then a bridal party shot from the photographer. I still have all those photos (with me in scary dresses) on display. I think I cherish those the most.
Ahhhhhh! I just have to voice my opposition to these types of posts. Nothing against you, passionpink, because I get the appeal (believe me, I'm right there with you on the "Really?!" When it comes to certail BM/bridal shower/wedding gifts).
But I think to focus on that and name items and things like that is just not what I have experienced the spirit of this community to be about. There are plenty of other places on the internet for that.
Again, I don't want to make any of you ladies feel bad because we all do this type of thing but...I know that I read through this post hoping thing- Please don't let the BM gifts I gave be described on here!! And from it looks like, I wasn't the only one.
When it comes down to it, just like with anything else wedding related, BM gifts are a highly personal issue. Some people will love and appreciate them, others won't. But if you put time, effort and thought into picking out gifts for the girls you care the most about, isn't that what we should be focusing on?
If you didn't like a particular gift (or didn't get a gift at all) from a bride that's a bummer. Hopefully you'll put all the more time and effort into the gifts you give as a result. But in the end, you never really agreed to be a BM for the gifts in the first place.
I think MarriedinMay makes a good point.
Quite frankly, I was glad to not have to spend too much $$ on any of those weddings (I helped host showers) and didn't really expect a gift. Still, I really appreciated the photos though!
I would have to say the worst gift I got was earrings--they were gorgeous but I was allergic to them. I wore them for the ceremony and the pictures, and took them off as soon as I could. My ear lobes were bright red and painful by then! I would wear them if it weren't for that.
Jewelry that I (and come to find out the rest of the bridesmaids) thought we so ugly and didnt like, but ended up looking ok with our dresses and pleasing the bride so it was all worth it I guess. I was in my cousin's wedding a few years ago and she gave us all jewelry but it was very different, funky jewelry that i actually wore after the wedding. I dont get why girls go and buy that cheap jewelry to gift, why not just let the girls pick out their own style and taste and save the $. We all know where bridesmaid jewelry goes... in the trash or into the back of the jewelry box!!
Wow, I thought this post would give me some insight on what things not to get for my BM... now it makes me think I need to get them more.
Hm. Now I'm terrified to get my one and only attendant anything at all.
I've only been in one wedding - my sisters. I didn't receive a gift, and I didn't expect one. She's my sister! I was glad to do it.
i once got a candle. a rather large heart shaped candle.
i ended up giving it to my mom. lol.
Worst gift was going shopping with my sister- twice!- for BMs gifts for both her weddings and never once receiving a gift! So basically i helped her pick out awesome gifts for the other BMs, and didn't even get a thank you. Considering I was the MOH at both weddings, I was and am miffed.
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hey ladies i was just wondering what your worst gift you ever got as a bridesmaid......