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Sometime in an effort to include people, I think brides start to give out tasks that could either be done without a person standing there (guestbook attendant!!) or that is just not fun. Have you ever been asked to assist in some way at the wedding and wished you could just have been a guest?
Some of the titles I would never give (or want to receive!):
Guestbook attendant
Card box attendant
Reception cleanup crew
Usher (bride side, groom side, what's hard??)
I agree Mighty. I think if someone tried to "honor" me with one of these assignments, I would decline. Granted I understand they were trying to include me in some way. But I'm good with being a guest. And you're right, they really don't need people for that stuff anyway.
Flower Girl at 20. She had "too many bridesmaids" so she made two of us be flower girls half way through the process. She was thinking me, but another girl offered to do it. They didn't get bouquets but ugly baskets and honestly it embaressed them because she thought it would be cute if they still threw petals. It made them feel like less important friends, at least one of them, the one who took my spot didn't mind that much.
OMG I would rather die than be a 20 year old flower girl!!!! I would have stepped down as an attendant! 
Yeah! It's just that I really really love being able to do fun things for the bride just because she's my friend. I went to a bridal show a few weeks ago with one of my friends because I really wanted to, not because it was my "job" as a bridesmaid. I'd just rather be the person who snaps loads of pictures of the ceremony and then emails them on all to you on your honeymoon, instead of standing up there holding a bouquet. I just think that you don't enjoy the planning process and the wedding as much if you're a bridesmaid -- it's like you're obligated and expected to do things, rather than wanting to do things.
I too am not a fan of the guest book attendant. I mean, really, as a guest you know what to do! haha!
But, at the same time, I do understand girls wanting to include more of their friends/family and would think it was nice of them to ask me, even though I too would rather be taking a million picturese!
And the 20 year old flower girl... wow! No words for that! 
Once a guy friend's fiancee asked my sister to basically be their wedding coordinator. They needed a DOC, so they just emailed my sister to ask her to take care of it. Oh, and she's *not* a wedding planner or anything, just a relatively organized person. My sis was kind of bummed and a little offended that they just expected that she would take care of all the stressful stuff for them, when really she just wanted to be a guest. She actually declined their "offer" so she could just have a good time at the wedding, instead of spending the day running around like she was on "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway"!
I was an usher once and it was only okay. I felt sort of awkward doing it, as a woman, but it was nice to be included, I guess.
@quirkyparsnip: That is hilarious! Maybe a Guiness Record Book entry for Oldest Flower Girl Ever? 
Did she carry a basket and throw flowers and everything?
I was once greeted at the Airport with a massive To-Do List! The other girls got them too, and we were all annoyed. She expected us all to do an enormous list of things that should've been taken care of long before the wedding, especially considering that the Princess Bride did not work for a living like the rest of us!
I'm not friends with the Bride anymore for a list of reasons and that was definitely on it.
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There's a pretty awesome wedding on OffbeatBride with an adult male flowergirl. The pics are hi-larious, but I'm pretty sure you have to be really into it in order to carry it off. ^_^
I've been a guest book attendant three times and every time I've felt like a freaking moron. Everyone knows to sign it, it's right there by the programs. Of what possible earthly use is it to make someone stand awkwardly by it, forcing a smile and saying, "Would you care to sign the guestbook?" like a broken record? Ugh. No GBAs at my wedding, tyvm, unless some crazy soul volunteers.
Being a candle lighter twice also kinda stunk, in my opinion. But I think that's because there's too much pressure--everyone's staring, you have that giant 5ft lighter, walk up and down the altar steps without tripping in your high heels, don't let any candles blow out...ugh.
I'd rather just be a guest and be there to celebrate their happiness. ^_^
Oh my, 20 year old flower girl has to be the big winner! I too would have declined, even if that meant not being in the wedding at all.
I can't remember if they actually threw petals at the ceremony, they were in their baskets though. They pretended to at the rehearsal. They were dressed the same as all the other bridesmaids, but they had to walk down the isle together and it was really akward. The bridesmaids bouquets were silk flowers, and I gave mine to one of them, because I felt bad that she didn't get to have one for the ceremony and I didn't want to keep it.
My brother had a small wedding at his future in laws home a few years ago. It was 103 that day...and I was in charge of standing outside and directing cars where to park. Ah...the joys of being the younger sibling! 
watching the money box, I was not allowed to leave it and the bride forgot about me and I didnt get any dinner :(
I think guest book attendant could be a useful position because you need someone to round up the guests and make sure they see the book and sign it. Otherwise, you could end up with a guestbook with two signatures. It could also be handy if you're doing something unusual like engraving a plate instead of signing a book.
Personally, I've never been a bridesmaid and I don't really want to be.
I've never had a wedding-related job I didn't like, but I HAVE been on "trash-duty" for FAR too many wedding & baby showers! Nothing says "celebration" like squatting and gathering wrapping paper in a dress and heels!
LMAO, im still laughing at being a 20 year old flower girl. Did you get to weat a wreath of babys breath on your head?
20 year old flower girl definitely takes the cake.. hahahah.. I would love to see pictures and/or videos of that!
But a Male Flower Girl?? Adult? That's hilarious!! I could not believe it and had to google it.
http://offbeatbride.com/2008/08/dana-jay-bein
http://offbeatbride.com/2008/08/adult-male-flower-girl
(if you read the comments from the second link, you will find this: "While mine is female she is actually 21. We all like to joke how our wedding is gonna have a flower girl that is legal." sadness.. )
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candle lighter is a super hard job! you're ther first one there and everyone is staring as you struggle to light all the candles..all while staying synchronized with the other person lighting candles! that said, no matter what, i always try to take it as an honor when people ask for help in weddings, no matter how weird the request. hopefully that will mean good wedding karma coming back!
See, now there's one I didn't know was a job...candle lighter....no. There will be none of that. If there are candles, they will be lit...magically by a helpful person. No choreography, none of that.
GBA: if someone didn't sign their name in the guestbook, it's either because they don't want to or because they would end up writing something stupid like "Have a great Summer!" No GBA necessary. (And I think SATC made this point quite clear)
Checklists...wow. If I just got off a plane and someone handed me a checklist I'd get right back on and go home. Can a girl get a shower first??
Thought of a job I wanted to give my SIL (who I wouldn't mind not inviting but gosh she's family...)--Dog pooper scooper! Our pup Ryder will be in attendance, but our venue requires that he be cleaned up after. Someone's gotta do it, but I'm in a white dress. I'm thinking...SIL!
I loved being a personal attendant and helping the bride with all of the little details, but I know some people look down on it, so I won't be having one. The absolute worse job I've been given is that of "cake cutter." It was so messy and now I understand the cake cutting fee at most reception venues.
Besides being a flower girl 3 times, I've been part of the clean-up crew...talk about an "honor" I would rather not have. I understand when it's family, but shoot, to expect people to do that after a long day and while they are all dressed up is kind of rough.
Okay, I was just doing some Admin work and came across this...Flower Girl at 20? Are you serious?! I almost fell out of my chair. Who would even have the nerve to ask?!
I feel bad for you parsnip, but that made me chuckle :0)
While I don't particularly like being a guestbook attendant, I wouldn't say no to it either. My FI on the other hand has expressed his feelings (on more than one occassion) about being an usher. He absolutely hates being an usher so no surprise, no ushers at our wedding! :)
I am still laughing and laughing over the 20 year old bridesmaid thing! That should be a movie..Kinda like the 40 year old virgin!
I also had no clue there were actual "honorary" positions like card box attendant and reception clean up attendant (which sounds like free housekeeper) to me!
I was once guestbook attendant at a huge wedding for a good friend of mine. I felt like captain obvious there..ya know..like the people CAN'T FIND THE GUESTBOOK for themselves or something and I have to be there to point that out to them! Lol!
I have also been a cake-cutting attendant helping cut cake slices for relatives before. I cut wedding cake and grooms cake slices. But they got me a pretty corsage..(need roll eyes smilie right heeeere!)
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I'm with aja0829...cake cutter was the worst. My friend (cake cutter #2) and I figured that the bride (a girl we went to grad school with) really must have hated us. Cake cutters don't really get to eat or enjoy the wedding because they are cutting cake the whole time!
The guest book thing must be regional. I have't ever seen someone responsible for it at any of the weddings I have been to. I asked my fiance, and he said the same. We decided there isn't anyone we don't like enough to ask them to do this. If someone doesn't sign, they don't sign. Not worth having a friend want to punch your lights out by the end of the night.
Doesn't everyone know to sign this anyway?
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@MightySapphire - ok, so I sort of have guest book attendents because we are doing those poloriod guestbooks and need someone to take the pictures of the guests, but it is going to be my 15 and 17 year old cousins, so I don't think they'll mind. I am also having ushers because two of our grandmothers are now single and we don't want them to have to walk down alone.
@Jessie516 - I am also thinking about asking a friend to be the DOC. I basically did it for her at her wedding (I made bouquets, set up the tables, etc) and she has always said she want to help out with mine, so is it still rude?
and yay! I just got bumped to worker bee!
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@AmyM83: Congrats on WorkerBee!!!
See, I can understand you having a guestbook attendant, because your idea (cute btw) requires them to actually do something. What I don't get is the GBA who stands next to an empty book. But the photo thing? Love it!
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I just know I felt like a dork ASKING people as they entered to sign the guest book. I felt like I had to ask that b/c well..what the else heck was I gonna do? Sit there like MightySapphire said and do nothing standing beside an empty book? My friend Suzanne's was gorgeous, very ornate, and had a huge flower arrangement beside it and a plume pen. Like anybody needed to be asked to notice the attractive set up or something right in front of their eyes when they walked into the chapel...lol!
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I think that being the MOH can actually be the worst job when the bride is in her dress with a full bladder. I may not drink anything at all after six the night before my wedding after having been put in that uncomfortable role.
Reading about the 20 year old flower girl though, I do not think I could have done that without being totally ridiculous as I whirled and twirled down the aisle with my basket of petals, tossing them above my head. I thought my five year old flower girl was pushing it on age!
Okay so it's not what I would consider a "worst job" but I get asked to do a reading at almost every wedding I go to...even at BFF's wedding a few months ago where I was a BM I got a reading, now I can really only thank my parents, I suppose, for this as I could read at 2 years old...so I am the "reader" in my bunch of family & friends. I do it when I'm asked, but sometimes, I would like to just get to "be a guest" without having to worry about doing a reading...but I know it is quite an honor when I am asked although sometimes I have been choked up as a guest and then having to go read is a bit difficult...weird voice, scratchy throat etc.
The worst jobs were all at the same wedding. First of all, the three of us that were asked to do various jobs had NO idea prior to the wedding that we would be expected to do such things. We handed out programs, which was ok, then we were made to skip the recieving line and move all the flower arrangements from the church to the church basement by the mean church wedding coordinator lady. We were like, huh? This is our friend's wedding, we want to enjoy it! Then we were instructed to walk around at the reception and ask people to sign the "guest book" and then we were told we had to cut cake. Little known fact: there is a specific way to cut a wedding cake, and we didn't know what it was!! it was horrible.
About the 20 year old flower girls...walking down the aisle with baskets of petal sounds horrible. Here's my question: I thinking of asking my 5 best friends to be my version of a flower girl. My FH and I are having a small wedding (about 65 people) so we're only having two attendants (family members) some of my friends are bummed and I want to include them in a meaningful way. I thought they could each have a flower or two that will make up my bouquet. They would be in the audience like everyone else just close to the aisle side so when I walk by them as I come down the aisle they can each hand me the flower and I can give them a hug, etc. I wrote them each a note about why I want to do this and said they each had a part in who I am today, just like the flowers they will give me will make up my bouquet. Would that be a bad thing to ask???
Vegas Baby, I think that sounds like a really nice idea. You might want to right up a small explanation in the program for your guests, but I would feel honored if I was one of your firends that you found a way to include me. Just don't call them flower girls and it should be ok.
thanks Lindz, I was getting really worried that I had killed the thread
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Flower girl at 20 - you win!
I hate being asked to be a guest book attendant! I just want to enjoy the cocktail hour!
I'm gonna have to jump on the guest book attendant job as the worst. I understand that brides want to include everyone, but sometimes the rest of us are ok with being just guests, instead of standing around like an idiot instructing the obvious. It's not "an honor." You can "honor" your guests by providing the best atmosphere for them to have a fun time, not by printing their name on a piece of paper (program) that only you will keep.
No guest book attendants for me, no thank you. Isn't that something the DOC's assistant can help out with anyway?
After reading this thread, I'm reconsidering the usher positions as well...
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I'm much happier with being an overly-excited-for-you guest!
