- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
Let me start off by saying I am a decision maker. I dont fret very often, and I happen to like that about myself. That being said, im fretting right now and cant make this decision to save my life.
Im in a horrible position, well, my fiance and I both are.
I come from a very strict christian family, my father has been a minister all of my life. Ill cut right to the chase… My fiance and I live together, have for 3 years now, with our 2year old daughter. Being a a preachers daughter, this is obviously not an ideal situation. But we have ben together for 5 years and we have always gotten along with my family… My parents werent necessarily over the moon about us living together, but they were happy to see us being responsible and taking care of each other.. and the big thing, *This is important* No one has ever said anything to us about living together over the past 3 years… E V E R.
My parents approached me yesterday and informed be that if I dont move home immediately, and stay there.. meaning, no ‘sleepovers’ at my fiances house at all over the next 8 months, then they are yanking all funding towards our wedding, my dad will not marry us (Hes a minister, remember??), AND I wont be allowed to get married in our church.. The church to which my fiance and I are both members, and attend without default, every Sunday.
Based on my upbringing, I cant help but see where my parents are coming from. That being said, WHY NOW?? Why 8 months before my wedding and 20 days before my 2,000 deposit is due at the reception venue do they have to do this to me? Their my parents and I love them, theyve always been there for me. But im 24 years old and already have a family of my own to think about also.
What do i do? Should I uproot my daughter and move 45 minutes away to please my parents and get the absolutely necessary funding for my dream wedding, Leaving my fiance all alone and abandoned in our empty home? Or do I put my foot down and say Ill find a cheaper place to get married, and another minister to marry us and do everything on our own at roughly 1/4 the budget I would have had in the remaining time to our wedding day, jan 7th 2012.
There are 3 possible outcomes.
1. I move home and everything be perfect.. ( In my parents eyes) I will be miserable, but i will get the wedding of my dreams..
2. We give a big middle finger to everyone and go to the courthouse 5 days from now so us living together, before being married, can no longer be an issue. The only money anyone has spent is 300.00 on my wedding dress. We got it at a store closing, was originally 900.. and my parents paid for the dress.
3. We go to thr Sandals resort in Jamacia and get married on the same day as planned, Jan.7th, 2012.. with probably just the three of us. Me, fiance, daughter. Invite anyone who wants to come, But i can guarantee you if its not a church wedding, my family wont attend. Fiances family might though?
Im just beside myself at the moment, i feel so lost, and i dont know what to do.
Who makes someone choose between the wedding of their dreams and being an adult and living an independant life? WHAT do I do…
I know someone will say “suck it up, its only 8 months” But its the PRINCIPLE of the thing in my eyes… If i tuck my tail between my legs and run home, where does it end? Do i let them control the rest of life too? Dont i deserve to be happy??