So as much as I hate it when people get judgemental about each other's weddings/parties ("These are the appetizers at the Ritz?" "Oh, you're NOT doing xyz? Oh..." "At so-and-so's wedding..."), sometime they're just plain bad. I try not to judge, but sometimes people make really WEIRD/awkward decisions, or things go wrong, and there are mild to moderate disasters that take place. I want to hear stories of the oddest/most torturous wedding/bridal shower/sweet sixteen, family reunion/whatever you've ever attended. Here are some of my examples:
Cousin's wedding: I was 19, and they seated me at the kids table. With her and her husbands 6 kids, whom I'd never met before, who ranged from 3-12, and spoke NOT A WORD OF ENGLISH (just Spanish and French, and my Spanish was VERY basic and slow at that point). When I tried to change tables to sit with my mother, because someone at her table wound up not coming, so there was space, our 50-something-year-old cousin threw a fit and tattled to the bride, who came and asked me to go back to the kids table. Which I did calmly and quietly, but a lot of drama was created over this. Though I was at the kids table, they brought me an adult meal, which was red meat, which I don't eat. The family told me I couldn't ask for a kids meal, but I nicely asked the catering staff and they happily obliged.
This was after the rehearsal dinner which they invited everyone to, showed up an hour late to, and then informed us all that we had to pay for our own meals, because they were spending a lot of money on having 3 different weddings (and 3 different Vera Wang gowns) in 3 different countries. *EYEROLL* Despite footing our own bills, we only got a choice of two meals: steak or lobster ravioli. By the time they got to me, they were out of the ravioli, so I politely said I'd pass on dinner, since I don't eat red meat. The bride overheard this and said "you have to pay even if you don't eat... we already gave them a headcount." I began to object, but then just shut my mouth. So I payed $40 for a glass of wine and a plate of food I didn't eat.
I have several more stories involving this and other events, but that's my opener. I WANT TO HEAR MORE TALES OF WOE! Let's laugh at the momentary social-function-inflicted misery!
@lanalnoco: Wow, I'm sorry. It's amazing how some brides forget that they don't invite guests to ooooo and awwww over the dress that they are wearing, but they are hosting these people to celebrate with them.
I don't have any real horror stories. Things never go 100% as planned at these things, but overall I adored the people who were getting married and was happy to be there. Ranging from fancy weddings in LA to budget weddings where the couple needed to get married for health insurance or visas, all of them tried equally hard to make their guest comfortable enough to have a good time, which makes a huge, huge difference.
@Au Jardin: The overwhelming majority of parties/celebrations I've been to have been hosted by lovely people! Things go wrong, of course, but you've gotta roll with the punches. Sometimes, though, people make choices that literally hurt my head... and I've just gotta grin & bear it, then laugh about it after the fact. Ususally these people are my family haha...
Anyway, just looking to commiserate with others who have amusing stories about awkward events! :)
At my cousin's wedding, myself and the bride's sister, my other cousin, although Bridesmaids, were sat on a separate table from all the rest of our family, and anyone else we knew. Instead, we were sat on a table with all her friends from University - and not even allowed to sit beside each other due to boy-girl-boy-girl seating arrangments. So we spent the WHOLE meal listening to these strangers talk - they didn't bother including us, and they were...
Well, she went to an Agricultural University. They were all rich farmers/landed wanna-be gentry. I remember one gentleman complaining that the next week was going to be so hard for him because he had to take the string of racehorses to York and then to Leicester because his father wasn't around to do it. That was the sort of conversation we were talking about. I don't think they thought we were worth including, being as we weren't 'of their set'.
All we could do was subtly exchange looks and sneak off quickly after the speakers to hang out with our own peeps.
Added to that, the groom's step mother didn't say a word to us the whole day (still mad her daughter wasn't a bridesmaid), and his little step brothers spent the afternoon either throwing stones at us, or trying to kick a muddy football at us, whilst the grownups looked on with indulgent smiles, I was thoroughly sick of the lot of them by the end of the day. I wish I'd drank back then, because I think now the open bar would have lubricated things much more pleasantly.
@lanalnoco: They seated you at the kids table rather then at the same table as you parents, WTF! I'm not giving +1s to all my guests, only those living together, engaged or married get to bring their dates and that is simply because if their living together, engaged or married, we know both parts of the couple. If it's a newer relationship chances are we don't. All our guests will be seated with their families though, anything else just sems weird to me, and friends will just be seated together.
@chronicwhimsy: Baaah I hate the social awkwardness of seating arrangements! I'm a teacher, and my classroom seating chart is like a puzzle with NO solution! Weddings are the same. I think assigned tables but seat-yourself is the way to go. I haaaate when you're sitting there listening to conversations that you find ridiculous/boring. :oX
@drummerbride: EXACTLY! My mother and godmother were the only people I knew well at the wedding, and they were at a diff table from me. Also, at 19, the kids' table is kind of an insult, and I was on the angsty side anway haha! But being away from my mom/anyone I knew was much worse than being stuck with the non-English-speaking stranger children. I think your plan sounds good. Not everyone needs a plus one. They DO, however, need to be sitting with at least one person that they know well and can talk to. Otherwise it's torture.
@lanalnoco: To me my plan just makes sense, couples get seated together, amilies seated together and groups of friends get seated together. Maybe they figured they would put you at the kids tble to babysit their kids.
oh my what an experience. And I thought my family was bad... lol I wouldn't constitute this as being the worst party ever, but I went to a church friend's wedding with my parents and I was seated at a separate table from them, a few other people from church were at my table, but then this guy from the groom's side kept stalking me at my table and wouldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested. I spent a majority of the reception out in the hallway with one of my friends, apparently the guy only noticed me when I was in the room lol.
My sorority sister has a budget wedding (2k) which was fine, except that she only did a heavy hors d'oeuvres reception yet still had a cocktail hour between ceremony and reception, that ran for two hours because their bridal portraits took foreveeeeer, yet we weren't allowed to touch the food, we just stared at it longingly. This was a 3 pm ceremony, so by 5:30 everyone was starving. All we were allowed to eat were little plastic swans filled with peanuts. And as if that wasn't bad enough, when people were finally allowed to eat we got to eat for about 10 minutes before we had to stop and listen to toasts and speeches then they went right to cake cutting. Most people left after cake because they were starving. Needless to say I am having tons of yummy food at my wedding!
I went to a wedding once that took place on a yatch. All the guests could not fit on one floor for the meal. So the important people were sat upstairs with the bride and groom and the rest of us were relegatated to the first floor. There was no central sound system so all the special events like the toasts, first dance, cake cutting, etc, happened upstairs without us even knowing. And the worst part was that upstairs they had a nice platted meal while downstairs we had the worst buffet food I've ever had.
Everyone down there felt so insulted. Like we were invited just for the gifts. (and to make the story even worse, when that couple came to our wedding a year later, they never brought us a gift!).
I've been to hundreds of weddings, and the one that stands out for me as the weirdest, what were they thinking moment was in the late 90's, I was a teenager and this couple consisted of a body builder and an NFL cheerleader...they elected to get married in a cow pasture in the high country, however failed to discuss cleaning up the cow patties left there by the Rancher's stock which he had simply moved to a higher meadow for the day.
The stench was amazing, not only from what we were standing in...but from the cattle only a few hundred yards upwind of us. During the ceremony you could hear them mooing and shuffling around AND then, one of the bridesmaids gets up to sing....A Whole New World...from Aladdin...yup, that happened. It was unfortunate enough as it stood, but my father and I, who are adept musicians had to cringe through the whole thing when we found out she was also tone deaf....
So we get through to ceremony, become accustomed to the methane fumes we're surrounded by and what happens? We find out that the groom had elected to shave his ENTIRE body the night before and has to leave the reception NOW, because he's too stubbly and itchy....seriously.
The reception kind of fell apart as the bride and itchy groom made an unceremonious exit and we stumbled out of that god forsaken pasture and to the nearest steak house...seemed a fitting end when you consider what we had to smell for the last three hours.
@annasaf83: Hate the creepers! Esp those who can't take a hint.
@michiru4ever: That's SO weird. Was there no food at the cocktail hour? Only peanuts? And I hate poor timing. Why NOT serve food for forever, then only give hungry guests only a few minutes to enjoy it? I just don't see how that could NOT be obviously a bad idea to people.
@Meowkers: OMG, I'm offended FOR you! I was like "well that sucks but..." with the seating on different levels, but no sound system so you could hear toasts? AND YOU GOT DIFFERENT FOOD? That's where I draw the line. That's like putting half of your adult guests at the kids table. With a soggy lunchables. No gift at your wedding is insult to injury!
@Nona99: I love that story soooo much I don't even know what to comment on first! I'll go in order. EW COW STENCH! How could you NOT consider that as an awful factor while wedding planning? A Whole New World? Two of my first graders just sang that as a duet for drama night at school, and I couldn't believe THEY were doing it? I haaate listening to people who can't sing but believe they can. SO painful. I get embarrassed for them. Also, why did the groom elect the night before his wedding to experiement with full-body smoothness? BAD MOVE! haha. I wish they had at least lied to you and said it was the flu or food poisoning.
I went to a quinceañera on the beach this past weekend where we got there and the served us soda that was HOT. They gave us cups of ice, but that melted after one drink, so we were back to hot soda. Then they brought out ONE plate of appetizer per table, and then NADA for 2 hours. NOTHING! When they finally started serving the food, they served it 3 plates at a time. People got their dessert before we got our dinner. And we got dessert 5 minutes later, when we'd just started our meal. Then 15 minutes later the sound system and tables got hauled out, while we were still seated. Guess that was the GET OUT THE PARTY'S OVER hint haha!
Also this was a party for my FI's cousin. I'd never met most of these people. They staaaaared at me hard (with the occassional whisper) for the first HOUR of the party. I held his hand, and he intro'ed me as his fiancee. They knew who I was, but they still just stared. That happens a lot here, because we're an inter-cultural couple... my whiteness next to his brownness attracts a lot of attention in since we're not in a big city. I'm used to it, but from strangers. This was his family. They "OH MY GOD- SHE'S WHITEEEE HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" reaction could've been toned down till after we left haha.
Love these stories. Keep 'em coming.
Oh this brings back memories. My FI was a groomsmen in a friends wedding that he had known for more than 10 years. I'd known them for 2-3 years as we had been dating for that period of time. He had to sit at the head table for the wedding, which was totally fine.
I got sat at a table with people I had never met before who all had been besties throughout high school and hda a million things to talk about. I was a very socially shy person at that time and everyone was so cliquey they never even made an attempt to talk to my. I tried to join in the conversation but they were so busy catching up as good friends that my attempts were all ignored.
The worst part is that there were 4 other tables of people that I knew or was friends with and I also knew all of the other SOs of the bridal party, but for some reason I wasn't sat with any of them.
It took more than 2 hours to get through the speeches and dinner sitting with a table of people that ignored me and to a point where it was appropriate for me to get up and mingle with other people. It was excruciating.
Maybe it's selfish that I feel that way, but we are ranting about terrible experiences!
@lanalnoco: there was tons of yummy food but we could not eat until the bride and groom arrived and they took two hours because they took a gazillion photos. All we could eat until they got there was a tablespoon of dry roasted peanuts in plastic swans on the tables.
Went to a wedding once and it was the friend of an ex boyfriend.
Showed up to the church on a 90* day, however the church did not have AC. I was sweltering (can't imagine how the bride felt!)
Then went to the reception and the food was cold cut sandwiches. Which is fine, everyone has their budget, but nothing was out yet, so some of us female guests had to get all the food out for everyone. Nothing like working at a party you're invited to.
This didn't happen to me but to one of my best friends but I think it's right up there with terrible planning.
My friend was invited to a wedding that was a 1920s theme and asked that everyone dress in theme. The invitation said it was at a meditation retreat. When my friend showed up in her 1920s finery including heels, stockings and fancy dress, she was horrified to discovery that the ceremony was on a mountain peek near the meditation center and all the guest had to basically hike there on a dirt hiking trail. She said it was about a half mile walk in dirt in her heels. And then a half mile walk back to the reception. Oh and they ran out of food and alcohol at the reception before everyone was able to eat.
what a disaster!
ETA: forgot to add that there was no seating at the mountain peak ceremony so after hiking there everyone had to stand.
@chronicwhimsy: It sounds like you were seated at a bridal party table, if that's the case then it makes sense. If they just randomly sat you there for no reason then it doesn't make sense.
A friend of mine went to a wedding at a consevatory over the summer and it had rained ALL day the day before. We had a really hot summer in Chicago on top of it. This caused massive amounts of bugs.
Apparently, you couldn't even hear the vows because these beetles were SO loud and during dinner when it got later in the evening and the lights went down, the beetles started to come out to play. My friend ate dinner with her feet on the chair because they were covering the ground!!
Dancing was minimal because all you heard was crunching.
AHHHHHHHHH
@Meowkers: I would have not given them their gift at that point, since I always opt for the cash in a card gift option.
@drummerbride: No, it was random. There wasn't a 'bridal party' table as such - one of the other bridesmaids, another mutual cousin, was sat on a different table with all the rest of our family, and the MoH was sat somewhere else again.
There were two top tables because the Groom's parents had divorced messily and weren't speaking to each other, so wouldn't sit next to each other. I think we were just plonked somewhere to facilitate their drama.
Families, eh?
WOW I can't believe your rehearsal dinner story! That is infuriating. I would keep whatever gift I got for their wedding after having to pay $40 for a meal I didn't even want.
I don't want to judge beacuse I'm 95% sure that if most the bee's had attended my wedding they would post about it on one of these threads.
My FI and I went to a wedding a couple years back, during the reception the B&G decided that it would be fun to make the guests answer questions about the couple and whomever got the question right, their table could get their food.
As it happened, our table had a person with diabetes so we were allowed to get food ahead of everyone else- this really upset a lady at the table behind us, so much so that all I could hear was cussing and asking if we left any food for them. We ignored it. The game went on, and as more tables went up the angry lady got more angry, getting more verbally abusive to wait staff (Who had nothing to do with the game), berating people walking by, etc.
it came to a screeching halt when she yelled at the bestman (he was the one asking questions to the crowd) about how disrespectful the B&G were, she made a complete scene. It was pretty awkward.
As much as I dislike games at weddings to determine what order people eat, she was totally out of line and rude.
@Paperbagprincess14: Someone should have asked her how she managed to get an invite if she xlearly didn't know anything about the couple. That was really rude of her, patience is important
@alishaloo: I'm sure you're wedding was lovely.
@lanalnoco: Ummmm.....WOW! I don't know if anyone will be able to top that rehearsal dinner story! There's no way in hell I would have paid for a dinner I didn't eat.
I went to a wedding once where the MOH (and sister of the bride) announced her pregnancy in her speech. The bride was already aware of it, but the family was not. For some reason the MOH thought it a great and appropriate time to do the big announcement for her family....the bride was NOT happy, and neither would I have been. The pregnancy was all anyone was talking about afterwards.
At my brother's wedding he invited my cousin who had recently just moved from England to Canada, but didn't invite her live-in boyfriend. When we checked the seating chart we found out that he had seated my cousin at a table full of a bunch of his friends at the very back of the tent. She didn't know a single person there other than my parents, my brother and myself. Not only that, but the people he sat her with were all couples, and they all knew each other. She started crying and felt SO unwelcome there. So I stole her place setting and set her a place at our table.
And this isn't my story....but a friend of mine recently went to a wedding where the bride had admitted to her that the only reason they were having a wedding was to get money to buy a house. It was listed explicitly on the invitations that guests should bring a cash gift. The bride tried to guilt my friend into doing FREE hair and makeup on a 8 bridesmaids, and flipped at her when she refused. The food was all supermarket-style meat and fruit trays. And during the reception the bride went around to all the guests selling 50/50 tickets - so, tickets to a draw where if you win you get 50% of the "pot", and the bride and groom get the other 50%. Well.....they didn't even DO the draw....so basically the B&G sold tickets to nothing and scarpered with the money. At 10pm the drunken bride started opening their cards, then stormed off in a fit of rage after realizing how little money they'd gotten as gifts. She took the car and left the groom at the reception.
So let me tell you about the VFW campsite wedding I attended. There was a groomsman TEXTING during te ceremony, guests drinking beers in the ceremony, during the reception guests were drinking straight out of liquor bottles (because this was a BYOB reception, as the bride kindly noted IN THE INVITE), and the groom was in carpenter jean shorts and a stained wife beater 30 minutes into the reception. Lol so crazy. Plus the tables were picnic tables so those of us wearing dresses had to sit and spin to get into our seats without flashing our underwear. Soooo crazy. My FI and I left an hour into the reception because they were blasting music with unedited versions (SO many f bombs) with little kids around, and we just couldn't take it any more. It was like a real life version of a "my redneck wedding" lol.
@drummerbride: I thought so and my circle was cool with it but it wouldn't fly anywhere else. our youtube video already has 8 dislikes. :/
Speaking of MOH speeches, a friend from HS had her wedding a few years ago. Her sister (who is well known as a materialistic and pretty all over batty girl) gets up to do her MOH speech and starts it off with "Sister, I am so happy we both found men to walk with and not walk all over as usual". She then let out this cackling life and NOBODY else laughed..it was actually quite quiet hahaha
@MrsPuddingface: I've considered this. I am pregnant and will (hopefully) still be pregnant at my wedding. While I do plan on announcing it to close family sooner rather than later, I was thinking about saying something at the wedding since I'll be out of the first trimester at that time. But, if my MOH blew the secret without my knowing or approving, I'd be PISSED!
@Sugaree: It wasn't the bride who was pregnant, it was the MOH. Basically she chose her sister's big day to make it all about her and her pregnancy. For the bride to do that would be awesome! You should totally do it!
@TheFutureMrsNguyen: some of us come from places where this is acceptable or the best people can do :/ Weddings where I am from are so different from eveywhere else.
@alishaloo: I remember looking through your recap - your wedding was beautiful! I thought it looked really fun!
@chronicwhimsy: Well thank you! I know alot of girls have been really sweet about it and enjoyed it just alot of people have not been. When you get a 3 likes to 8 dislikes on your video in 3 days... it really sucks and can make a girl feel bad. I'll get over it! Just like I'll get over the things that did go wrong at my wedding- but in the man time I'm trying to help out other brides and to realise that this world is diverse and not to judge people.
@alishaloo: your wedding looks like it was lovely, from the video!
i'm not trying to judge people for decor, food, budget, etc. everyone has a different style and vision. i'm talking about when people do RUDE things or things that just make people uncomfortable. like maid of honors announcing their pregnancies, asking guests to pay for the rehearsal dinner AFTER inviting them there, and telling people to come in formal 1920s getups but NOT telling them about the 20 minute uphill hike on a gravel road haha. just looking for a chance to vent and laugh!
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