Post # 1
I recently attended a wedding of my FH’s cousin where the reception consisted of all 70-80 of the guests sitting in a room and WATCHING the bridal party eat their ENTIRE meal before they were allowed to help themselves to what was left (lunch meats, rolls, some appetizer meatballs, fruit salad). I was in disbelief. There was no dancing, just an old Beyonce CD (from front to back, on replay) playing on a toshiba lap top (with no additional speakers). Lastly, the only beverage available was watered down kool-aid. Because all of the guests were starving and bored the punch was finished in about 20 minutes and there was no more. First we were starving and once we were given a bit of food we were dying of thirst. It was CRAZY.
So, my experience has forced me to really consider for my own Sept 2012, what types of things are non negotiable? Is there a budget that is just TOO small to have a wedding at all!? I should add that we drove upwards of 10 hours from Philly to attend this wedding. How much do you take into account how far your guests are traveling when considering what type of wedding to have?
Post # 3
@JSwan: yikes…well I one thing you can take out of this is…feed your guests!
As far as budget goes…my wedding is low budget (for California standards) however if your budget is so low that your guests can have one glass of kool-aid and thats it then perhaps one should just do a dessert/champagne reception.
Post # 4
yikes, you drove 10hrs, there wasnt enough food and water and you had to watch others eat before you had a chance – the bitch in me wonders how much of a gift you give the couple after that
we had an after party and it was seated, catered and had so much left over food (we’re italian, we always over cater) and drinks we were giving it away to the staff – as your cousins wedding sounds like it was self catered maybe they should have bought a case of soda/bottle of wine each week so the cost didnt hurt as much as buying in one hit
Post # 5
Ugh! That’s terrible! I’m trying to plan our wedding around the guest perspective. I think of all the things I’ve hated as a guest and I’m trying to avoid them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
Wow, it sounds like it was less about budget here and more about effort. If they didn’t have an iPod, they could have had a family member swap out a pile of CDs. And, TBH, maybe this is the person who’s worked events in me, but the Bridal Party is working the event. Don’t they eat after the guests? It doesn’t seem like it would have taken much from the couple to make the wedding more catered to the guests. I agree that a dessert/champagne reception would have made it classier.
Post # 7
It’s possible to save on the food, e.g., by having a mid-afternoon cake and punch reception–without being tacky. However, the rule your mother probably told you still holds–no one should be eating until everyone is served. Having all the guests standing around watching while the couple eats, and then serving the guests the leftovers, is just appalling.
Post # 8
Reading this made me add food to our menu. w’re having a plated meal, but I just added more appetizers for cocktail hour. Now we are all gonna be too stuffed to dance. LOL
And it reminded me to contact our DJ this weekend and get things started with him. He’s FI’s cousin and his services are our wedding present. I just have to give him my lists soon so he can start getting all the music together. And remind him “No Beyonce!” LOL
Post # 9
I always went with the idea that the reception is the party you throw for your guests to thank them for coming and giving you gifts. I planned the entire thing around making sure they enjoyed themselves and a month later people are still telling me it was the most fun they ever had at a wedding, this all accomplished for $4,500. In my opinion, if you cant afford to feed people cut the wedding list or have a homemade dessert reception. People shouldnt feel like they are not really part of the celebration the wedding party is having.
Post # 10
we were on the fence about providing a full meal. we were thinking appetizers and drinks but when my family started saying they would be driving from cali the morning of the wedding i knew they would want something other than a snack. once our rsvps all got back (3 weeks early!) we were able to budget for the meals and got a pretty good deal.
Post # 11
Thats a digusting way to treat your guests. Why are people so damn clueless and rude?
Post # 12
Wow. Appalling. Some people are just really crappy hosts, and selfish. On the bright side, your wedding is going to be over the moon in comparison. 😀
Post # 13
um…yeah…I thought the bridal party usually ate last. At least I’m planning on having little (if any) time to scarf down some food between pictures, the receiving line, dances, yada yada yada. I can’t imagine just plopping myself down and making my guests watch me eat. I agree with pp, if you can’t afford it do something you can afford. We decided early on we can’t afford a sit-down dinner for all 200 guests, but since it’s important to us to not have to cut that list down (it’s mostly family, yikes) we are trying to work around it. The biggest way we’re doing it is by having an afternoon wedding and reception.
So sorry this happened to you. I would be livid if I were treated like this, especially after making a long drive? um, no thank you.
Post # 14
if the budget is that low, then dont invite so many guests. sounds like the guests at this wedding were invited just to ge the presents, because the guests certainly wasnt appreciated at all.
biggest thing for me would be….enough food and drink the guests, make them feel like their presence is valuable.
as for the music, we also will be using an ipod to pipe music through speakers whilst having our meal, but it has been sorted out with a large playlist of songs…
not having a band or disco isnt really aproblem, but at least if you’re using an ipod, take some time to work out the music and dont just play one cd from front to back…..how boring.
had i been a guest at that wedding i think i would have walked. and when they questioned why, i would have been honest. ‘I am hungry and thirsty and need to leave”.
Post # 15
Damn.. that is bad, LoL. I’ve never heard of anything like that before.
Post # 16
But your last question meal vs. travel, I didn’t think too much, We’re haveing a Destination Wedding and my FPIL were adament for a really nice meal becasue of it, it’s ok casue they are paying, but for not a Destination Wedding wedding it’s a tough question since pronbably on other weddings most people would be locals, and you can’t serve people who traveled something else than people who didn’t that’s why a lot of times traveling people are invited to the rehersal dinner I believe.