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I try my best not to judge others on their weddings. I can't say that I always succeed, but I do try. Sure, I've seen what I've considered tacky decor, or dresses I don't care for, etc. but who cares? As long as the couple is happy, it doesn't matter what I think about the aesthetics. I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who think that my yellow/hot pink/purple color scheme is just foul. :)
BUT.
The worst wedding faux pas I've ever seen wasn't a matter of taste. It was a matter of logistics.The groom's brother was disabled and in a wheelchair since birth. And neither the church nor the ceremony site were accessible!
At least the church had a very wide staircase, and people were able to carry him up and down pretty easily. But the ceremony site was on the second floor, up a very narrow staircase. And it took a lot of effort to get the poor guy up the stairs. To make things worse, the DJ started announcing the groom's family while the groom's father was still struggling to get the brother up the stairs. The father was livid and the entire room was pretty uncomfortable watching the struggle, although it was really nice to see so many people chip in to help.
What was the worst wedding faux pas you've ever experienced?
Oh my goodness that's terrible!
I think the worst I've ever seen was the fault of the officiant - it was my cousin's wedding, and the groom FAINTED (three times, but that's a whole different story), and it seemed like all the officiant cared about was getting what he had to say out there. He just kept on trucking, even though the poor groom was barely able to hold himself up. Then when we thought he was FINALLY done, they were about to do the recessional, he was like "Oh wait! I just wanted to say..." and went on for another five minutes! I felt sooo bad for the groom - he looked miserable!
A reception in a building that didn't have heat...in the snow on December 31st.
Or, the Ceremony lasting 5 minutes as the friend who was officiating "winged it".
@dana:WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! i wonder how long that marriage will last. that is sooo incredibly inconsiderate. okay sorry but major vent there.
haven't been to that many weddings but i have seen guests commit the ULTIMATE faux pas, in my opinion.....wearing DENIM to a wedding! I have this phobia of that happening now, of ALL things for me to worry about and you better believe I'll be checking everyone's legs...
They will be black listed if they wear denim AND I will confront them about it in a "thank you note". And yes, I do have some guests who are at risk of doing so.
okay this is so bad and totally MY thing but i hate seeing a guest come to a wedding empty handed, i mean no card, nothing (they don't have to have a gift but a card is awesome for the couple, you know?!) that really drives me CRAZY!!
My aunt's wedding a number of years ago was a huge faux pas all around and I haven't met anyone who has been able to top it.
First off, invites were sent the week of the wedding. The problem with that was that no one on the guest list was local to where the couple lived and the entire family of the groom had to fly in from overseas. The registry (they had 2 but only one store was national while the other was located where they lived and no one else was shop at) was limited to expensive gifts only. The lowest price for anything was $200.
Guests were expected to show up at least 2 nights before. However, they could not be bothered to feed anyone who stayed at their house or visited during the 2 days prior. Guests weren't allowed to go anywhere or do anything where the bride would not know what they were doing. This included going to eat something on their own time before passing out from low blood sugar. When the wedding day came, the immediate families were required (by the bride) at the buttcrack of dawn to sit in the church lobby for 2 hrs during the ceremony which no one was allowed to witness. You would think that with an 8 hr gap before the reception that guests would be able to stop for lunch in between, but no. Reception started at 6pm but the entire families were, again required by the bride, to get there 1 hr early to decorare and set up tables and chairs. Meanwhile I got stuck with the job of coordinator since no one else knew what was going on (I didn't either) and the bride and her mom were both too 'zilla to be around anyone at any point. As an example, they would throw a hissy fit and blame whoever was around at the moment for things they didn't even do.
When the reception started, they only served cake which tasted like cardboard and water. If you didn't like the cake, you were screwed. The groom was happy the entire time but heaven forbid you want to talk to him or take his picture since the bride didn't want that to happen, and didn't want anyone socializing with her either. They chose to have an ipod dj which totally bombed and because no one danced at all, not even the couple, she threw a tantrum like a 2 yr old. The entire event was a very tense, surreal trainwreck where no one was able to relax or enjoy themselves at all. After the wedding, they couldn't be bothered to send thank you notes to anyone either.
To this day, the tiny guestlist that did show up (they invited 300 people and maybe 25 showed to the reception, and the rest refused to attend since no one was good enough to be invited to the ceremony) all agrees that it was a complete disaster and the worst wedding they have ever attended. Surprisingly they are still happily married which no one expected to see after that set of disasters.
The only other wedding I have been invited to (that I didn't attend) that had major faux pas included the couple's parents (who sent the invites) did the mass mailing label thing where the ink smeared so badly from the weather while in transit that it was truly a wonder that anyone received an invite because they were absolutely illegible. They also included a folded up printout from Mapquest, complete with unnecessary ads. From what I heard, no one even attended based on those criteria so there's no telling what else would have actually gone on at the wedding.
@esrockhold - you had my laughing out loud with the denim. I'm worried about a few of my relatives too. My concerns aren't demin-specific, just attire-related. Which is funny because if FI's family showed up dressed casually I wouldn't be mad at them but would feel bad for them. Double standard?
@crebre80 - I always send gifts ahead of the wedding so I ALWAYS go empty-handed! I know a lot of the gift stuff is regional, but it is considered rude to bring things to the reception because the bride has to worry about assigning someone to take care of the gifts, etc. And cash is given less frequently. So if you see me at a reception - I DID give the couple a gift!! Lol.
HAHAHA Ember, you posted that on another thread, right? Because I remember you talking about that horrific wedding. It's FOREVER in my memory bank. It seems so bad, it could be on reality tv. THAT'S a Bridezilla episode, nay, SEASON for sure.
One of my sorority sisters got married a couple of years ago now. Apparently very few of her family members RSVP-ed b/c they RAN OUT OF ROOM at the wedding ceremony. The church was literally jam packed. Me and a few other people ended up in the CHOIR section. For those who don't know where that section is...it's BEHIND the pulpit!! So not only did people have a birds eye view of the ceremony.....they had a birds eye vies of US too! Talking about being on the hot seat. I guess we should be lucky we got to see the ceremony b/c many were left out in the cold.
@Ember - Holy crap, that whole story is just terrible.
@silverbrooke - You reminded me of another faux pas I experienced, although it wasn't the couple's fault, it was just poor planning when the venue was built. The wedding was in the dead of winter and the reception hall had these two beautiful french doors leading outside. Unfortunately, it was freezing out and every time someone came in or out, the entire room would be blasted with cold. And lucky me, I got seated at the table RIGHT NEXT to the doors. I had to get my coat back from coat check and wear it all night. Whoever planned the venue should've realized that having doors leading right from the banquet room to outside was a bad idea.
I'm trying to prevent a faux pas with my FMIL - she is insisting that she is suppose to wear an ivory dress.... I'M WEARING AN IVORY DRESS. Oh brother.
@Mattel: Is your FMIL by chance related to Jane Fonda? My mom wore a white dress with flowers all over it, but she okayed it with me first and it was white background, not all white!
Worst wedding faux pas I've seen? At my own wedding! When I was walking down the aisle with my dad, my DH had to ask everyone to stand! I didn't realize he had said it, but I could hear a pretty clear "All rise" right in the middle and I thought it was the officiant!
There was a woman at a wedding I went to in the fall who wore a white, lacy, strapless dress. She was in her 20s or 30s, too, so no excuse.
At FSIL's wedding, one of the bridesmaid's (the groom's sister) didn't try on her BM dress before she bought it, and didn't bother getting it altered. She was spilling out of her dress worse than anyone I've ever seen, and the bride had to help her safety pin it together before the ceremony because it wouldn't zip.
I went to my brother's wedding last may. Apparently when the FMIL sat, that was everyone elses's que to sit. However, someone never informed her of that and she stood standing the whole time...I think waiting for the officiant to tell everyone to sit. Well he never did. So, for the entire wedding, we all just stood there. Luckily it was only a 20 min ceremony..but a very long 20 minutes.
Wow, I think Ember wins!
I went to one once where we (FI and I) were invited on Facebook a week beforehand. Guess we were C-list! It was FI's friend so I didn't care, but that's pretty rude. They had a butterfly release at the end where 2/3 of the poor insects were dead. None of this would matter as much except they were divorced less than 6 months later, so it's all just sad.
Not faux pas, but bad mistakes I've made at weddings:
-been late, changed in the car in the parking lot, slipped in the church 1 min before the wedding party, everyone turned around to see me
-(okay, I've been late tons of times, I'm a bad person, I admit it)
-lit my sister's hair on fire with a candle (I was 8)
-had a slivovitz drinking contest with the little old men in the polka band and had to be carried to the car
-forgot to eat before the afternoon wedding where I was a bridesmaid, had to slip out in the last 5 min of the ceremony before I passed out on the no a/c stage, luckily the couple had moved to a different part of the room for a hindu tradition
Argh. I will have no excuse to complain if people are stupid at my wedding!
Oh, and the Hindu officiant at my friend's wedding got her name wrong the entire time!!! He called her 'Robert'. I haven't cringed so much in ages.
@esrockhold: Someone wore a Hawaiian shirt to our wedding, haha. I thought it was funny.
@mouse - someone wore a Hawaiian shirt to our wedding too.
I feel bad bringing it up because you can tell this man doesn't normall go to weddings...He wore the Hawaiian shirt with a black tie that was too short. His shirt was untucked with a pair of khaki pants and he wore sneakers (Sketchers, I think). I just giggled when I saw him because I knew it was just him.
One of my hubs friends actually wore jeans to our wedding...This was also his first wedding he has ever attended...
I wasn't there but heard it from a friend of the family - the worst story I've ever heard - was a grooms ex-girlfriend showing up at the church & sitting in the back of the church… not that bad you might think, right? The reason she did it apparently was so that she would be the 1st thing the bride saw on her way down the aisle. That might be one of the most evil things I've ever heard.
the officiant, a rabbi, at my second cousin's wedding gave a speech in the middle of the ceremony about divorce. i'm not even kidding! this was in the early 90s, and my family still talks about it being the most ridiculous wedding ceremony ever.
@Dancy--omg!!! Thats so horrible, yet I laughed. But it's horrrrible!
MY FI has a lovely cousin who suffers from downs syndrome. And he loves to give toasts. At a family member's wedding he stood up and congratulated the couple...he went on to say " Groom, you are so lucky that you got her first, she is so pretty and has huge boobies!". Awwww........sad/uncomfortable/awkward/silly....
OK, I'll play - one from my friend's wedding and one from my own.
1. My friend was 45 minutes late for her own wedding ceremony. I was MOH, and I was doing the best I could do to hurry her along, but she didn't seem to care. It was a Catholic mass in a church, too - so there were about 120 guests there and seated, waiting...for her. I mean, half an hour after the ceremony was supposed to start, she was still fiddling with her hair! She was also almost an hour late to the wedding rehearsal, which also made the rehearsal dinner late. I love her dearly, but there's a reason why she doesn't work anymore.
2. This isn't really a faux pas, per se, but my brother, who was speaking at our ceremony, "surprised" me during the ceremony with an unplanned tribute to our father, who passed away when I was 17. I was very close to my father, and it not only surprised me, it also completely unhinged me. I was literally sobbing as he's talking about "our angel Gene" - the pictures from the ceremony are bound to be hideous despite the waterproof mascara (still haven't seen them), and it kind of overshadowed the vows a bit.
I was a BM in a wedding that included a reading in Chinese and one in English. The bride's uncle did not look up his passage which was supposed to be about love--I John 4:7-8 (Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.) Instead, he read about the Samaritan woman who was living with a man who was not her husband (and she'd been married multiple times--JOHN 4:7-8 (When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" 8(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.))
Fortunately, the uncle read in Chinese and most people didn't understand or catch the mistake!
I was at a church wedding and the preacher was reading a part of the scripture during the service. At first it was all well and good about marriage and stuff, and then he started reading the part about how marrying one then divorcing and marrying another is adultery, etc., which would have been fine except that it was the bride's second marriage. Eventually the preacher realized he'd read too far and said just that: "Oh, excuse me, I've read too far." LOL!!!
Oooh... I have a few from friends' weddings...
At one wedding, a female guest came in with a full length WHITE dress. I kid you not.
At another wedding, the food was served at about 10 pm. It wasn't so much the time, as much as how LONG we waited. The reception was in the same building as teh ceremony in the middle of nowhere, so guests sat around in the reception area, waiting for 2 hours for food to come. Our group contemplated driving to a fast foot place to get some grub in our tubs.
At my cousin's wedding this summer, someone wore Jorts (Denim Jean Shorts). If only I were at home where my camera is... I have the funniest picture of FI standing in front of the offending guest pretending to pose so we could get it on camera.
2 weddings I went last year didn't have sitting arrangements/cards whatever you want to call it. We were a family of 8 and couldn't seat together, people were taking seats all over the place, I HATE HATE having no assigned seats at a wedding, I guess I can say it is a pet peeve lol.
And I didn't go to this wedding, just saw pics but they had plastic plates and cups...I just don't think is right and what really surprised me is that they could afford to have the glass stuff :{
I went to a wedding last summer where as soon as the bride and groom had walked down the aisle after the ceremony the bride shouted at the top of her lungs, "I'M MARRIED!!!!" I understand she was excited, but she was still in church, and every single one of her guests heard her!
I went to a Vegas wedding where there was no DJ or MC or anyone coordinating the reception...The bride and groom put a Sublime CD of all things, which was probably scratched and kept skipping the entire evening.
@Mimi - I've been to several weddings that didn't have seating charts. I think that the couple assumes that the guests would like the freedom to sit wherever they want, but in my opinion, it was always stressful!
I haven't been to too many weddings in my life and the worst thing I've experienced is the registry slip showing up in the invite (which I hate), but that isn't nearly as bad as what already been posted!
Danadelphia: I felt like I was at a bufett restaurant, getting a plate and finding a seat was so annoying...I don't know, I'm kinda picky I guess.
I also dislike bufett for weddings, it seems informal and it takes forever for people to finish their meals and stand in line, it is so not wedding-like....HAHA I know I'm going to get attacked on this one but it is the way I feel ;)
Oh my gosh these are too funny! Okay worst I've seen is the jeans at a wedding. Truly truly awful. I'm not sure why people think it's appropriate! At a friend's wedding one girl dressed like a stripper, that was... weird. But the bride kept going on about what a great dress it was. And then another girl at the table as stripper chick stood up to sing opera (the whole sing to make them kiss game) and it was TERRIBLE. Someone should have stopped her!
My mom was at a wedding last summer where the officiant was the groom's uncle and a very religious born-again sort of guy (don't know if he was a priest or reverand or what). He apparently shouted about foooooornitcatioooonnnnnn over and over again during the hour long ceremony. Fornicating outside of your marriage I guess. Hm. My mom said it was both hilarious and uncomfortable.
I was a BM in my friend's wedding last summer and her mom is a psychopath and insisted on officiating instead of just chillaxing and being the mother of the bride and enjoying herself. So she was incredibly psychotically overbearing - in the wedding rehearsal the B&G had to ARGUE WITH HER to put the KISS into the ceremony! So time comes for the actual wedding, the chapel has no A/C, it's summer in the midwest, everyone is sweating balls, and she gives a 45 minute sermon about who knows what - totally tangential to her daughter's wedding, THEN she tries to force communion on the entire wedding party (we were ON STAGE behind her) and half the wedding party was either agnostic or jewish. AWK-WARD.
She was beyond horrible. Screaming at her daughter during the rehearsal. Yelling at the bridesmaids at the bridesmaids brunch. People like her should not be allowed to advertise themselves as good Christians. OH also, she wore full ceremonial robes and a madonna-style microphone to officiate. I almost pissed myself when I saw her come out and had to hold it in because we were all on stage and all of us were about to die laughing if one person did. Horrible.
ETA: At same wedding, someone's husband left the church to go back to his room and change out of his suit and tie into a ripped t-shirt and cargo shorts and Birkenstocks. Hot Mess. His wife then proceeded to get wasted and squawk to everyone how embarassed she is of her husband.
The worst wedding faux pas / worst wedding I’ve seen was a wedding of an acquaintance I went to a few years ago. The ceremony was well over an hour, in the middle of summer with no A/C. Managed to survive that only to find that the reception was at a religious retreat, so no alcohol at all. That’s not too bad (I guess), but the kicker was that they tried to save $$ by not serving food – except to the bridal party.
Everyone came into the reception and started asking about food. The bridal party was seated and served food, and everyone else apparently was just supposed to sit there and watch them eat. They didn’t make any mention on the invitations or anywhere else that there would be no food or drink of any kind served. :/
My wedding website specifically bans jeans AND Ed Hardy tshirts after a friend of the groom showed up in such attire for my bestfriend's wedding this summer. He even had a date, so we were all wondering why SHE didn't say something when he walked out of the house!!
I don't really think that not having assigned seating and serving food buffet style fits into the same category as these wedding faux pas. Just my opinion.
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