Post # 1
Most of us were a little clueless about wedding etiquette before becoming brides to be. I know I was! My FH and I went to a wedding 6 months or so before getting engaged where the DJ was asking for song requests. He specifically said, "Anything you’d like to dance to?" so we submitted "Time in a Bottle" which is one of my favorite lovey songs. When he played it as people were still coming in and taking their seats, we hopped up from our seats and danced (by our table, though our table was NEAR the dance floor) to the song. I didn’t realize that couples aren’t supposed to start dancing until the B&G have had their first dance. In our defense, though, there were other people up dancing before that, and the Bride & Groom hadn’t arrived yet!
What’s the worst wedding etiquette faux pas you’ve committed?
Post # 3
Okay so here’s mine:
A girl I worked with years ago was a newlywed when she started in our office, so of course we all wanted to see her pics…she shows us a pic of the beautiful horse-drawn carraige they had to go to the ceremony…I say "Oh, what a great picture of you & your dad!"…she says "That’s NOT my dad, THAT’S my HUSBAND"….arghhhhh…..
Post # 4
8 months before our wedding one of my husband’s friends sent out the invites for his own wedding. We debated about going (we knew if we went we would be seated at a table with one of my husband’s old friends we didn’t want to be near)- before we knew it, it was 2 weeks passed their RSVP date. We ended up declining, but I realize now how rude it was to wait to RSVP (especially since she’s in medical school and was taking a summer course- busy bride).
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club
When I was about 15, my uncle got married. My mom, grandmother & aunts all wore white suits. So did the groom. I thought it might have been related to some African American custom since that’s what we are; we wear white suits to certain services, but still… how awful!! It just seemed like the thing to do.
At the time, I didn’t know we were committing such a horrible faux pas. Very strange. To this day, I have NO IDEA why we did that! How awful! I’m terribly embarrassed.
Post # 6
I think I invited my then boyfriend (now fiancé) to my Auntie’s (really mother’s first cousin’s) wedding last summer when the invitation just specified my parents, brother, and me. All four of us lived together (it’s a cultural thing), so we just got the single invitation, although we’re all adults. I got really confused when I was filling out the RSVP for my folks.
The funny thing is, I spent the summer browsing http://www.etiquettehell.com/, and I knew that just adding a guest was a no-no…I had no idea why I thought that dates would be allowed in this instance. Luckily they were.
I don’t remember if I called her before or after I mailed the RSVP, but she gave me her okay. She planned for a large celebration. At the reception, I saw that a couple of my cousins brought their boyfriends.
I think she gave me a pass because I was the only one on her mother’s side of the family to show up at her ceremony (everyone else attended a memorial event for my late uncle–unfortunate timing).
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
I’m sooo glad someone posted this, because I was just thinking this very thing the other day!
My situation was quite complicated. 3 years ago I was a bridesmaid for a friends wedding in Hawaii. Mr. Sushi and I bought our plane tickets to go to the wedding 5 months prior to the wedding, then we broke up. By the time the invites came out we were pretty much back together again, but thinking back on it…my friend only addressed the invitation to me. I wonder if that was hint that she didn’t want me to bring him to the wedding?! She was quite protective of me then. I RSVPed for 2 and brought him to the wedding. She never said anything to me about it. Luckily she loves him now. :o)
Post # 8
I wore white to my friends’ wedding. I was so clueless! I almost didn’t RSVP, but the groom asked me about it at work. I was like "Of course I’m going!" (Like he would know? I didn’t even send the card!)
I think this could have been a "multiple answers" poll, LOL!
Post # 9
About 5 years ago I attended a wedding I have no idea if I was invited to! My husband (at the time boyfriend’s) mother just told us that a family friend’s wedding was in a few weeks and that we needed to mark it on the calendar so that we could be there. She ended up bringing me, my husband (her son), and his sister. I bascially watched the ceremony, went to the reception and ate h’ourdeurves, and then my husband and I left because it was taking too long for them to take pictures before dinner and we were hungry. We never even saw the couple at the reception (not that I knew them anyways). Granted I was only 20, and had not been to a wedding since I was a flower girl at age 5! I had no idea why I was even there!
Post # 10
About two years ago my now-fiance was invited to a wedding in San Francisco. He called the groom to ask if he could bring me (we’d been dating for over a year). The groom said "of course" and we RSVP’d for two, but it turned out to be a fairly small wedding (around 80 people) and I definitely got the feeling that the bride was annoyed at my presence. I still feel bad about that, especially reading so many posts from brides who are so stressed out at all of the requests to add a +1!
Post # 11
I thought this might be a fun way to get any of that "Oops!" guilt off our chests! I know I still feel guilty about the dance thing! 🙂
Post # 12
I’m getting married in July and one of my friends cornered me the other day just to tell me she spent a ridculous amount of money on a dress that she plans to wear as a guest to our wedding.
When she bought it she realized it was white, but called my MOH to ask what color my wedding dress is. I’m wearing ivory and she said, "I’m wearing white to your wedding and you can’t say anything to me because you’re wearing ivory." Seriously1
Post # 13
I wore a white dress to a friend’s wedding, and I had always known you’re not supposed to wear white to a wedding, but for some reason it didn’t dawn on me when I purchased the dress. I actually used the wedding as an excuse to purchase the dress. The dress had a large black sash around the waist though…does that make a difference?
Post # 14
I wasn’t alone in my "oops," it was more of a group effort ….
This happened three summers ago, it was the first wedding I went to with my fiance (then boyfriend) and his college friends and the first time I was meeting a lot of them. It was also the first wedding of their "boys" and it had an amazingly open bar … needless to say it got to be a pretty rocking (read: drunken) reception.
At the end of the night the DJ announced that the bride and groom were having their last dance and that we should all then gather outside for their "send off" … well someone discovered an extra bowl of dinner rolls … and since we had all been drinking dinner rolls seemed to be the best thing since well sliced bread! We all started eating them and throwing them around (not in a terribly disrespectful way, just playing around) and next thing we knew, about 20 of us had missed the send off!! We saw the bride and groom the next morning and they were like "where WERE you guys?!?!"
Looking back I feel so bad because I know I’m planning a big "send off" for my own wedding and I would be so sad if my friends weren’t a part of it! Thankfully they just laughed it off and were happy all their guests has a good time.
Post # 15
In my opinion, my bringing my college boyfriend to a wedding early was the worst faux pas ever. In fact he was best man and they were all (he and all the groomsmen including the groom) a giant faux pas. Before the wedding, my bf asked me to drive him to the church about four hours early so he could meet up with the guys and an hour before do pics. They began (I was not there, came fifteen minutes before the wedding) apparently imbibing whilst getting the groom ready up until picture time. When wedding time rolled around, they practically rolled down the aisle as they weren’t walking that well. My bf couldn’t find the ring (was supposed to be in his pocket until giving it to the MOH to tie onto the pillow) and she got married wearing her sister’s ring and cried b/c her ring was nowhere to be found and her fiance didn’t have insurance on it.
I was so upset for the bride! I remember thinking to myself had I just not brought him so much earlier to hang out with the groom and all the other groomsmen, he might not have forgotten where he put the E and wedding ring for the bride , he would have remained sober and the bride wouldn’t have had a fit and cried. They found the ring. It was given by accident to the groom. Who in turn also forgot. Bad bad groomsmen and groom!
Post # 16
I have never brought a date who wasn’t invited, but I have waited more than a year to give a gift. In my defense, I was invited to 9 weddings the year I started graduate school and was as broke as anything (5 of the weddings I wasn’t even able to attend). I know, totally lame, but since we’re all fessing up…