Post # 1
I’ve been in school since January and so has my mom. My parents live about 30 minutes away from me and I’ve always tried to visit them when I can. But lately, life has been C-R-A-Z-Y. I feel like I’ve barely had time to breathe. I work EVERY weekend and the last few months those work days are some of my longest and most brutal shifts. Whenever I do think about coming over my mom is in class or she’s working. I just can’t find a time to go over there. It’s not that I don’t want to see my parents, but when it comes to deciding if I want to sleep or go over there and have my mom try to challenge me at dancing games I’d rather sleep. I’m also in school during the week and therefore my days off are spent doing wedding things, and homework. I have no real time or energy to go over there.
My parents whine about me not going over there all the time. I know they miss me and I miss them sometimes too but I can’t make the almost hour round trip every weekend. Whenever they come to see me they complain it’s the only way to see me anymore and then sit at the bar and try to talk to me (which I don’t mind). What irritates me the most, however, is when I’m making drinks and I’m listening to drive through and they try to talk to me. I’m doing 6 things at once and they want to ask me questions, and then act irritated with ME when I can’t talk. Uh, duh, I’m busy. I’ve told them this when they’ve come in before to see me.
I mean, am I being silly? Don’t I need time to just sit down? Am I wrong for being frustrated that they aren’t considerate of my working time?!
Post # 3
Parents have a hard time realizing their kids are now taking on just as much, if not more, than they are. It sounds like of course they miss you but don’t know how to let you grow up. From my experience, it takes several years for parents to stop thinking of you as a child and to realize how much more demanding college is, even if your mother is in college. I would try and make a day or two a month to see them, once with you going to see them and once them coming to see you since you aren’t that far away.
FI’s dad was the same way when we moved away to college 2 hours away, and would guilt-trip him about never coming home or “when you DO manage to come home all you do is blah blah blah.” He even said to his dad, “Do you work and go to school full-time, while trying to maintain relationships?” Of course his dad said no. He’s not in school and he’s single. And the interstate works both ways. 😉
And….sorry for rambling. I don’t think you’re being silly, its a genuine issue. They do need to respect what you do, but you also need to consider that this will take a bit of transitioning. 🙂
Post # 4
I would just explain to them how much you have going on right now, and how exhausted you are. That you love them, and miss them, but right now life is just crazy. I am sure they know this, but sometimes parents need to be reminded of things. Are they phone talkers? I know that I can usually stifle my Moms visit needs when I am exhausted (she lives an hour away from me also) with a good phone conversation. I think in my case she just wants to feel included with everthing.
Post # 5
@MrsBrightSkies:My dad calls almost every week on his way to work and I chat for a good half an hour. Every time I talk to him he tells me I should come over and I tell him I can’t because of x,y,z. I almost went over there the other weekend finally and my brother said he had to talk to my parents alone so I couldn’t.
@AmeliaBedelia:don’t feel sorry, you aren’t rambling. It was helpful.