Would a pregnancy change your timeline?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Right now, it would be devastating. My health is crap now and I have enough health issues (and medications) that it would be really difficult. I can’t imagine my body functioning at all. I would probably have a mental breakdown because of the stress of my body possibly not functioning right and messing up the baby. My BF would want me to terminate so it wouldn’t make me worse. So I probably would and we’d be right back to where we are.

Post # 3
Member
6504 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If we had already been discussing marriage before the pregnancy I would be fine pushing up the engagement/wedding. However, I would not have gotten married just because I got pregnant if we hadn’t already discussed it.

Post # 4
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m married,  but it would have while dating.  DH made it very clear from our first few dates that our only option would be to get married before the baby arrived. It was a condition of having sex. It completely scared me and I waa very careful! ! (Even as a waiting bee joking about how I could speed up the process.  DH totally called my bluff)

Post # 5
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve been engaged for a year now and our wedding is in 3 months, but if I had gotten pregnant before he proposed, I think I’d still want him to propose in the timeline we had discussed, and screw anyone who thinks the engagement is because of the pregnancy, I know otherwise. But personally, I don’t think I’d have any interest in actually planning a wedding, much less getting married, before the baby was a couple months old. I’d much rather not be pregnant on my wedding day and have a child out of wedlock than the other way around. I’ve been very careful about BC since I first became sexually active, but after we put the deposit on our reception venue I felt more motivation to avoid pregnancy than I had since moving in with now-FI, I want to be able to celebrate guilt-free!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  ladyamalthea.
Post # 6
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

If I had accidentally gotten pregnant before we got married, it wouldn’t have changed a thing because I would have got an abortion without thinking twice. Hell, even now that we’re married that’s what I’d do. 

Post # 7
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think I would still want to get engaged, but might wait a few years before the actual wedding. I wouldn’t want to be pragnant on my wedding day ( I want champagne damn it!) and I’m sure wedding planning wouldn’t be on top of my priority list with a newborn. So I’d still want the committment of being engaged but would delay the actual wedding until baby is 2 or 3. 🙂 Awwwww this convo is giving me baby fever! haha

 

Post # 8
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

mexicalijennie:  lol that’s exactly what happened to us! The only difference is we planned to get pregnant first. Because of my history, the time was right for us, so we TTC and got pregnant the first try. He told me he wanted to marry me on the day we conceived, but we both agreed to wait to get married until the baby is older, which puts us at our wedding date of May 2015. Now just waiting for the ring to get here!

Post # 9
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We’re married now, but we totally would have gotten married sooner if we got pregnant. If I wasn’t in a committed relationship/didn’t want to marry them in general though, pregnancy wouldn’t make me marry them. I’d probably just have the baby on my own.

Post # 10
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If I were to get pregnant right this second I would personally be devastated, there are so many other things that I want to so in my life before I add a baby!  But we’d survive without a hitch. We would probably elope on a beach somewhere and call it good before the baby came and before I started to show.  I would want a relaxing wedding/vacation/honeymoon with my husband before we were up all night with a newborn. 

Post # 11
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We are married but even if we had gotten pregnant beforehand, it wouldn’t have messed up our timeline because we are CBC so we would have aborted it regardless.

Post # 12
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

If we were to fall pregnant now, I would want us to get married immediately, because I hate the idea of having a child out of wedlock. We’ve obviously planning on getting married, but I’m not sure my SO would propose just because I’m pregnant.

Post # 13
Member
998 posts
Busy bee

If I got pregnant at a time when DBF and I were not at a point where marriage made sense, I wouldn’t want my timeline to change just because of a potential child.<br /><br />Even though having a child before marriage would not be my first choice, I’d rather do that than get engaged or married because of a pregnancy, even if the relationship was loving and heading in that direction. My rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t have gotten engaged or married when you did if you weren’t pregnant, then you’re getting married because of the pregnancy, even if it’s only one factor in the decision.<br /><br />There are some exceptions, of course. If one person in the relationship needs health insurance, or if they are getting to the point where there’s a limited window of time for having children, I’d agree with it more than than the scenarios I see with early twenty-somethings who wouldn’t be getting married otherwise.<br /><br />

Post # 14
Member
390 posts
Helper bee

An accidental pregnancy would not “ruin our relationship”, since we both want children ASAP. It would, however, DEFINITELY change our timeline. I would want the official proposal/ring almost immediately after the pregnancy was discovered, and knowing his values that is exactly what would happen, along with a courthouse ceremony. He, nor I, would want to start a family out of wedlock. Our big wedding ceremony would be pushed back until the baby was a few months old, things had settled, and I lost the baby weight. Definitely not the ideal scenario. I much prefer our current plan of starting to TTC on our honeymoon, haha. 

Post # 15
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We’d marry sooner than we were planning. That’s pretty much it. I don’t wish to have children out of wedlock, and I know that I have the right man so why not just run off and do it?

The biggest stressor would be more financial than anything else.

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