(Closed) Would adultery lead to divorce?

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Would adultery lead you to divorce your partner?
    Yes, most likely. I don't think I could tolerate this. : (165 votes)
    46 %
    I would most likely try to save the marriage before resorting to divorce. : (119 votes)
    33 %
    Only if he or she were a serial adulterer. I don't think one time would lead to divorce. : (72 votes)
    20 %
    Probably not. : (4 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    3215 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    It would depend on the circumstances. I have a hard time imagining my FH doing something like this since after nearly a decade together, he still treats me like his most prized possession, BUT if he were to have a full on relationship with someone else, with the emotional and physical dimensions that come along with that, I think I’d lean towards divorce.

    If it was a drunken one night stand with a total nobody, I’d throw a fit, make him go to counselling and get his shit together. It would definitely throw a wrench in things, but I don’t think it would be the end.

    There would be so many considerations that are situation specific that I can’t be sure, but if he is systematically putting another woman’s needs/wants before mine, that’s basically a signal that the relationship is over. 

    Post # 4
    7193 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @letigre:  +1

    There are so many things to take into consideration. I would be more hurt by an emotional affair than by a one night stand. Don’t get me wrong, I would still be angry about the one night stand but our relationship night still have a chance.

    Post # 5
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    What she said.

    Post # 6
    3079 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Agree with PP. I would be torn if I felt like a second option, and while I would try to move past it I think I would always feel like he’d love her more than me. That’s what I think I I would do but its hard to imagine so if it were to happen I could probably end up doing something else entirely.

    Post # 7
    12250 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    It depends on how many kids we have/how old the kids are!

    The younger and the more kids we have, the less likely I would be to divorce him, even for serial cheating!

    And I don’t see myself wanting to get a divorce for a one-time thing at all.

    Post # 8
    763 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Adultery would more than likely be a deal-breaker for me. I can’t think of an instance were I would be trying to give my Darling Husband the benefit of the doubt. And for those who say drunken one-night stand, I think I would really be questioning my DH’s ability to function with alcohol and therefore be around my children. I wouldn’t want him as an active partner anymore. Adultery is normally a symptom of something much deeper and I think why it would be a dealbreaker is that I would feel like my Darling Husband didn’t trust me or have enough respect for me to try and work out those issues like a grown-up.

    Post # 9
    2808 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    any kind of cheating is a dealbreaker for me. and he knows that.

    so yeah. if he cheated, i’d be done. i’d file papers. it’d be over.

    Post # 10
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I find it hard to imagine. It would depend in circumstances. If it was a drunken one night I would like to think I could give it another go but it would depend on his willingness to work through it as if I could actually get over the hurt and be able to trust again.

    Post # 11
    723 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    i agree, it definitely depends on the circumstances. 

    Post # 12
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @letigre:  said basically what I was going to say.  An “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing” would get me mad, but I wouldn’t leave him if he was sincerly sorry and went to counceling or AA to make sure it didn’t happen again.  But emotional cheating is the absolute end.

    Post # 13
    8464 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @colorofmyheart:  +1, I have a zero tolerance policy

    Post # 14
    11273 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    yes, it would definitely change the whole dynamic of our relationship.

    i always say, “why would i want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me 100%?”  if my dh cheated, that would mean he wasn’t 100% sure.

    Post # 15
    5200 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We both agreed, after 11+ years of being 100% loyal to one another, that adultery would NOT be tolerated. If you can date for that long without cheating then you should certainly be able to go without cheating when you’re married! My mom (begrudgingly) forgave my dad when he cheated a few years ago. There is still a lot of tension between them and I don’t think their relationship is healthy. I never want my marriage to be like that.

    Post # 16
    1444 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would never tolerate a cheater, ever.

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