Would adultery lead to divorce?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Would adultery lead you to divorce your partner?
    Yes, most likely. I don't think I could tolerate this. : (165 votes)
    46 %
    I would most likely try to save the marriage before resorting to divorce. : (119 votes)
    33 %
    Only if he or she were a serial adulterer. I don't think one time would lead to divorce. : (72 votes)
    20 %
    Probably not. : (4 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    It would depend on the circumstances. I have a hard time imagining my FH doing something like this since after nearly a decade together, he still treats me like his most prized possession, BUT if he were to have a full on relationship with someone else, with the emotional and physical dimensions that come along with that, I think I’d lean towards divorce.

    If it was a drunken one night stand with a total nobody, I’d throw a fit, make him go to counselling and get his shit together. It would definitely throw a wrench in things, but I don’t think it would be the end.

    There would be so many considerations that are situation specific that I can’t be sure, but if he is systematically putting another woman’s needs/wants before mine, that’s basically a signal that the relationship is over. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    6503 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @letigre:  +1

    There are so many things to take into consideration. I would be more hurt by an emotional affair than by a one night stand. Don’t get me wrong, I would still be angry about the one night stand but our relationship night still have a chance.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    What she said.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Agree with PP. I would be torn if I felt like a second option, and while I would try to move past it I think I would always feel like he’d love her more than me. That’s what I think I I would do but its hard to imagine so if it were to happen I could probably end up doing something else entirely.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    It depends on how many kids we have/how old the kids are!

    The younger and the more kids we have, the less likely I would be to divorce him, even for serial cheating!

    And I don’t see myself wanting to get a divorce for a one-time thing at all.

    Post # 8
    Member
    765 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Adultery would more than likely be a deal-breaker for me. I can’t think of an instance were I would be trying to give my DH the benefit of the doubt. And for those who say drunken one-night stand, I think I would really be questioning my DH’s ability to function with alcohol and therefore be around my children. I wouldn’t want him as an active partner anymore. Adultery is normally a symptom of something much deeper and I think why it would be a dealbreaker is that I would feel like my DH didn’t trust me or have enough respect for me to try and work out those issues like a grown-up.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    any kind of cheating is a dealbreaker for me. and he knows that.

    so yeah. if he cheated, i’d be done. i’d file papers. it’d be over.

    Post # 10
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I find it hard to imagine. It would depend in circumstances. If it was a drunken one night I would like to think I could give it another go but it would depend on his willingness to work through it as if I could actually get over the hurt and be able to trust again.

    Post # 11
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    i agree, it definitely depends on the circumstances. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    681 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @letigre:  said basically what I was going to say.  An “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing” would get me mad, but I wouldn’t leave him if he was sincerly sorry and went to counceling or AA to make sure it didn’t happen again.  But emotional cheating is the absolute end.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    yes, it would definitely change the whole dynamic of our relationship.

    i always say, “why would i want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me 100%?”  if my dh cheated, that would mean he wasn’t 100% sure.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We both agreed, after 11+ years of being 100% loyal to one another, that adultery would NOT be tolerated. If you can date for that long without cheating then you should certainly be able to go without cheating when you’re married! My mom (begrudgingly) forgave my dad when he cheated a few years ago. There is still a lot of tension between them and I don’t think their relationship is healthy. I never want my marriage to be like that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1463 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would never tolerate a cheater, ever.

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