Post # 1
My FSIL (FI’s sister) just had her baby on Saturday. At her insistence, we ALL got the Pertussis vaccine. On Wednesday, my FMIL completely lost her sh!t on FSIL. She took her 3-day old baby out to a resturant “to get out of the house”, and FMIL was PISSED.
I totally get it; what the HELL is she thinking?!?! But FMIL told her if the baby gets whooping cough or something worse, she’s calling Child Protective Services on FSIL.
Do you think that is considered a little harsh? Three days into motherhood, and that girl is already getting threats of CPS. Almost makes me wonder about her actions about my own future children. But then again, I don’t have any kids yet, but I do know I wouldn’t be happy with threats on calling CPS.
Any moms ever go through anything like this? How did you handle it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@ShabbyChicBee: FMIl way overreacted. You really shouldn’t get involved in the situation since it doesn’t involve you but it does tell you a lot about your FMIL. Definitely use the information when you have your own child to remind yourself that sometimes your FMIL doesn’t need a play-by-play of your baby’s day, especially if you think it’s something she would get pissed and overreact about.
P.S. I work for CPS and while your FSIL’s actions were irresponsible they do not rise to the level of abuse or neglect. And trust me, you don’t want CPS to get involved in personal family disputes because CPS has its own agenda which may not be in your family’s best interests.
Post # 4
@ShabbyChicBee: It’s her baby she can do whatever she wants with it. I’d tell the MIL to back the F off and let her try and call CPS – she’ll never see that baby!
Life goes on despite having a baby. My sister didn’t go out of the house much for a few weeks with her first, but with her second she was out and about a few days after returning home. She had to be – she had places to take her other kid.
Post # 5
If the restaurant was Chuck E Cheese and she put the kid in the ball pit… questionable parenting.
If it was a regular restaurant and nobody touched/handled/sneezed or coughed on the child… totally fine.
I went to lunch after one of DD’s first pedi appointments because I was starving and didn’t have the energy to cook anything. Being the middle of the day, the restaurant was not crowded and really nobody was anywhere near the baby.
I think you FMIL overreacted a bit, not to mention it isn’t her baby in the first place.
Post # 6
WOW. A mother knows what’s best for her child. I had my child out and about immediately after birth. He was born around xmas. We visited family. I went last minute xmas shopping. Only way to build up their immune system is to get them out there and expose them to things. You can’t keep a baby or child bottled up. if you do, and take them out, that’s when they get sick!
Post # 7
@ShabbyChicBee @beachbride1216: Silly question, but I don’t understand why taking the baby out of the house was bad–could you explain? I have no experience with kids, so I feel totally lost on this one!
Post # 8
Unless she’s allowing random strangers to hold her baby at the restaurant I don’t see what the big deal is.
Post # 9
This is bonkers! Apart from anything else, the baby will be protected by maternal antibodies. What the hell does your FMIL think that the mothers of second and subsequent children do? Hide in the house for 6 months? I was taking my newborn second son out within days of him being born and he was a winter baby too.
You just need to use commonsense and commonsense says that actually, babies are all the healthier for being exposed to everyday life as soon as possible.
As for contacting Social Services, all I can say is that they must be a great deal less busy where your FMIL lives than they are here! You’d be laughed out of the building if you reported this as some sort of child neglect.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@MrsRevolutionize: Most doctors recommend keeping baby at home for the first few weeks so they aren’t exposed to strangers and germs. PP makes a good point about exposure building immunity but I was exposed to strangers when I was a week old and I ended up with pneumonia which caused me to be admitted to the hospital so they could incubate me.
It used to be to limit visitors and outings during the baby’s first 6 weeks (until your first post partum doctor’s appointment) but I know many moms who start taking their baby out regularly when they are only a few days old.
Post # 11
@MrsRevolutionize: I don’t have kids either, but apparently it’s “taboo” because they can get sick from strangers, outside viruses etc.
Post # 12
Yeah it’s a little over board
Post # 13
My parents took me to lunch at a restaurant on the way home from the hospital and I survived. That’s a bit ridiculous.
Post # 14
i agree with all comments. I personally don’t see myself taking my newborn baby out too terribly soon, but I’m a homebody at heart.
FYI – I totally stayed out of it, the second that comment was made, I headed to our apartment. It’s just really been on my mind that people can throw around threats of calling CPS to – quote the PP – settle family disputes.
Post # 15
@beachbride1216: Just out of curiosity, is there any literature that talks about getting CPS involved to”settle family dispute?” I really like your statement about that, and I would like to know more.
Post # 16
@ShabbyChicBee: Meh, my sister brought her week old baby to disney world since the whole family was in town. Granted she stayed in the stroller pretty much the whole time and my sister just walked around with her. I think people are a little too crazy about protecting babies. They are extremely resilient.