Would/ Have you stay with your SO if he slept with another person?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would/ Have you stay with your SO if he slept with another person?
    No. I would move on. : (136 votes)
    48 %
    Yes. I would try to work it out. : (33 votes)
    12 %
    I don't know. I would have to be in the situation to know : (89 votes)
    31 %
    I don't even want to think about it! : (27 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @tiff-tiff-tiff:  I would not. I just couldn’t do it. I think it’s awesome that some couples can work through this type of infidelity, but I couldn’t. For me, sex is so intimate and emotional, that the thought of FI sharing it with someone else (even just for physical pleasure) makes me sick. I could never share that part of myself with him again. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1640 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

    I voted I don’t want to think about it, but really, that’s a deal breaker.    I have ZERO tolerance for shit like that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1640 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

    It’s a breach of trust, and proof of a complete lack of respect, once a cheater always a cheater.    There’s no such thing as a ‘mistake’ when it comes to that, it’s bullshit.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If it was a one-off fling, I could look past it. But I’ve made it VERY clear to him–if he ever cheats on me, I do NOT want to know! He BETTER not even THINK about telling me.

    Why should I have to suffer for his actions?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1335 posts
    Bumble bee

    There is NO WAY I would stay with a man who slept with another woman.  Absolutely never.  I’ve been cheated on in the past by two of my exes, and both times regardless of their tears & begging me to stay, I walked away and never looked back.  Both times I was in my 20s, in love, and one of them was very abusive but I actually stuck around through the abuse until I discovered he was cheating on me and then within a few hours I moved out and never looked back.  

    In my opinion, for your co-worker to say that it’s difficult to leave someone who cheated on her when she’s so young (and esp if she doesn’t have children) is more due to her lack of self-love and self-care.  If you’re dependent on someone else and the relationship to fill you up and make you feel whole, than it’s definitely difficult for such co-dependent people to navigate through life without that relationship serving as an emotional crutch for them.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee

    I really don’t think I could. I think I could get past a kiss, although I know that he would expect me to break up with him if he cheated at all. But sex means that they kissed and then he knew what was happening and allowed it to go way further. That’s completely unacceptable. And TWICE?! Nope. That would be an immediate break up even if we worked through it the first time.

    Honestly, he would probably break up with me if I chose to stay with him because he would feel so bad about it and wouldn’t want me to forgive him. So I don’t think it’s something I have to worry about!

    Post # 9
    Member
    6505 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It would really depend on the situation for me. 

    -Are you married? Or how long have you been dating?

    -One time thing?

    -Is it a one time thing?

    -Was there an emotional affair as well?

    And soooo many other questions before I could ever determine an answer. I believe the mistakes happen so I can’t say that I would automatically break up with someone over cheating. Especially if already married… 

    Post # 10
    Member
    5222 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It really depends. If I was in my early 20’s and seeing a guy who cheated on me? You bet your ass I am gone. If I am 45 with teenagers and a 17 year marriage under my belt and he has a slip up, I think it is a totally different situation with a lot more at stake. I used to think that cheating was the absolute worst thing, but the older I get I realize that people can do a lot of shitty things to  one another and not stick their genitals where they don’t belong. It would be all about the context so I voted I don’t know or won’t know until I am in that situation.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I would move on. If we were married I might feel differently.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Dating, engaged, married, doesn’t matter.  If he can’t keep his penis out of other vaginas I’m gone.

    It’s really easy to not sleep with someone.  I don’t sleep with people every day.  If the marriage is so bad you want to have sex with someone that isn’t your partner, than get out of it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Nope, I couldn’t stay.

    Husband makes out with another woman once? I could probably forgive. He stopped it before it progressed, and I could see it being a one time thing.

    Husband sleeps with another woman? No. There are lots of opportunities to end the affair before it gets as far as him having sex with her. He would have made a very conscious to go that far. It’s not a simple mistake by then. It’s also additionally hurtful because if he doesn’t confess, then he’s putting my health at risk by possibly passing STDs.

    Post # 16
    Member
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    No. I’m far to insecure! 

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