- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Hello to All of You,
I thought I would never write a post but here I am. I would really appreciate your advice!
Okay, I am supposed to be meeting my fiance’s family for the first time next weekend at his sister’s wedding. His family lives out of state and that is the primary reason we’ve never met.
I have a lot going on (two kids from a previous marriage, moving, uniforms-kids going back to school) etc. When adding up the cost of clothes (and everything else that goes with it), the flight, the gift (and other ‘knick knacks’), it would be fairly costly. I have a fairly decent job and actually make a significant amount more than my fiance, but adding in kids, mortgage payments etc., and I am certainly not rolling in dough.
At the beginning of all of this, I told him it would be a little tight so I will see. He stressed that it is EXTREMELY important that I go (I understand that). He also said that I won’t have to take the extra burden to much and that he would fit the cost of the trip. He also suggested we drive because it will be cheaper. I prefer to fly because 1. This trip is like, 14 to 16 hours ONE way and it will be too frustrating for me and 2. I have to get back a certain time on Sunday to pick up my kids so aside from the wedding, I will be practically living in this car and I seriously dont want to do that. I hate driving long distances. I drove 5 hours once and was sick at the end of it! So, I told him, hey, I found this cheap flight and think I will book that flight instead because of the pain of driving (oh yeah, driving would also be inconvenient to me since he would have to leave Thursday and I can only leave Friday unless I get a babysitter). He said, ‘Cool’, in fact, I may book a flight myself also. He thanked me ‘sooooo much’ for doing this and I responded by saying, ‘dont thank me yet, the earliest I can book this flight is Friday and I am not sure of the cost.’
But, he did not OFFER to help financially. And if some of the advice is, ‘just ask him’, then trust me, I wont. I am too embarrassed and self conscious and I am just not the type of chick who COULD say, ‘are you helping me with this cost’? FI has his own business but it’s new and I know he is not doing great and I feel like, since I want to fly, it is a bit unfair to just ask now. ON the other hand, he did say in the beginning that I wont have to worry about cost. But, it’s just going to be too much at this point.
What I FEEL like doing is not going and just send a gift. But, I know that he would be pissed off and also, his entire family is expecting me. On the other hand, if he does help with the flight, I know his finances and he wont be able to help me with much so it will still be too super expensive. I am afraid that if I dont go, his family will think I am a total bitch for not showing up especially knowing that they would all be there. What do you guys think? Help!
Disclaimer: I really don’t want to ‘ask’ him for the money.lol I just feel bad. But to be honest, I am also freaked out to go to a wedding where I know NOONE and he will be part of the bridal party and not with me for most of the evening.