Would it be insulting to give my SO a stone to make into a ring for me?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
5482 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FAisms:  welcome to the hive!! I don’t think it’s rude of all-the ring you’re thinking of sounds lovely. Mention it! That said, if he protests I wouldn’t push it. Just bring it up and see what his attitude is. People are funny about these things so all you can do is ask! Good luck!!

Post # 4
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That sounds amazing! I’m 75% sure your FI will LOVE the idea (and the price!)

Post # 7
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Yes, you should mention it.  And, if he seems to not like the idea, you can always end the conversation with the suggestion that resetting that stone into some other ring would make a great gift for you, regardless of whether it is an engagement ring.

Post # 8
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

If you want to give him the stone go for it i say!

Post # 9
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@FAisms:  if that’s what you really want for an engagement ring, then I think it’s perfectly fine to say so. If you’ve had open conversations about it, then a “when the time comes” conversation should be okay, too. If that’s what you’d be comfortable wearing, and that’s what you want, he should know. Take all the pressure / guesswork out of it. 

I gave my FI a clipping of the style I liked when we’d been together for a couple years as a “someday” – he kept it in his wallet forever – and then we randomly tried on rings at a jeweler’s one day. two years later, I got the proposal, with the setting that I loved. 


Post # 10
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Everyone is different. Some guys would probably think that’s great, while others maybe not so much. I would for sure sit down and talk with him about it…personally, I think it’s a great idea! Just make sure when you do talk with him you let him know it’s not meant to put pressure on him…:) Good luck!!!

Post # 11
43 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

My FI was ready to start talking marriage earlier than I was and we had discussed when we would get engaged for a long time, so I knew it wouldn’t freak him out too much if I gave him ideas.

I started emailing him links to things I liked about 2 years before we got engaged, always with a subject line like “this doesn’t mean I want you to do it, but just in case, here are some ideas” because I would have freaked a little if he bought a ring already but I knew we would get engaged eventually. He usually didn’t respond to my emails but I didn’t care.

Last year he told me to send him my final choices, telling me that I wouldn’t be able to change my mind. I didn’t think the proposal would be that close or that he would even buy something yet, but he knows I will always change my mind if given enough time, and wanted me to set it in stone. He should have known my ring size already from a ring he got me years before, but I reminded him in the final email what it was.

He still got to choose the final design and had to have it custom made since it’s rose gold and the jeweler didn’t have anything already. It’s super simple (and perfect), so he really couldn’t have done anything different, but I think he is still proud of it and feels like he made it despite how specific I was.

I say go for it! It should be your ring as a couple, so discussion is good.

Post # 13
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@FAisms:  I think its a fine idea. I know my fiance would have rather I done that than the run around that I went through.

Plus aquamarine looks amazing in rose gold. Its one combination that I really want to have one of these days.

Post # 14
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@FAisms:  I think it is perfectly fine!

I went for a moissanite that my then-FI & I boght together, but had a had another stone in mind, I totally would have mentioned it &/or brought it to the table!


Post # 15
980 posts
Busy bee

That sounds like a really responsible way to go and not at all pressuring. It’s great that you could have an open discussion about it. I would tell him how much you love the stone and “if you were to ever think about a ring for that finger, it would be great if you could use this stone ;)”

Unless he feels very strongly about choosing the ring I’m sure he will love the idea.

Post # 16
29 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

Great Idea I would discuss it with the FH to see how he feels

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