- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
one of your friends was dating your sibling? Would you want to know?
I need some advice. My FI’s sister dated one of his good friends from high school some years ago when she was still in high school (he’s 6 years older and graduated with FI). At the time, I didn’t know Fiance. He is still good friends with this guy and over the past 5 years this guy has had 2 serious relationships with girls that were more than 10 years younger than him. In his defense, he worked a bit and then went to college later making him a colelge student in his late 20s but it always bothered me that these girlfriends were barely 18. Now he’s been single for some time and started dating women closer to his age, he also graduated college so I think it may just be that he was in a phase where he was meeting younger girls at school. However, he has been “hanging out” with FI’s sister a lot more. Fiance hears about it casually when his mom or another mutual friend mentions something they did together as we live a few hours away from where he grew up. He told me before that he was not happy when they dated the first time. Now, he just kind of says nothing but he does mention it so I can tell he’s not really okay with it. He is usually the type to stay completely out of his friends’ relationships (for months he didn’t tell me one of his good friends was engaged and I old found out when we got the invite in the mail) so even mentioning that he heard they saw a movie together makes me realize he cares.
So, here’s my dilema. FI’s sister just put up some photos on Facebook of the two of them together over the weekend. Fiance does not use FB so he will never see the photos on his own. Should I give him the heads up that his sis and his friend appear to be together or let it be. I don’t want to create a problem or gossip but I also don’t want him to be surprised by someone else. I try to think how I would feel if my bro started secretly dating one of my friends but that doesn’t help because I don’t think any of my friends have a shady dating past. I know this all sounds so petty and maybe I should just say nothing as both are adults, I just want to protect FI’s emotions as I know this is a sensitive topic and feel like he could deal with them being together if he had time to come to terms with it rather than just spontaneously finding out next time he visits his parents. Do I shouw him the photos?