Post # 1
Hello bees –
I’m not sure if I phrased this question correctly, so let me explain a bit more…
I was engaged last year – got engaged in July and broke up in the beginning of December. Long story short, I originally got a CZ ring, realized it was a CZ, fought with then-FI about it, and we picked out a new ring together. I didn’t get my real ring until November, so I actually only had it 3 weeks before we broke up. The ring we picked out together was a round solitaire on a 3mm band and I had planned on pairing it with a round prong set eternity band. I have always thought the solitaire + eternity band combo was so pretty and classic, and after trying on several rings, loved it so that’s why I/we picked it out.
Now, I am back together with my high school sweetheart and we went ring shopping recently. We went to Tiffany’s (even though I’m not getting my ring there) and I tried on a bunch of different styles. As fate would have it, my BF’s favorite combo was the round solitaire with an eternity band! And I hate to say it, I do still like that combo. The one I tried on was a knife edge solitaire, which I did like much better than the wider band I had before.
I felt kind of weird liking the same thing so I talked to Boyfriend or Best Friend about it and he said if he were to get it (and he’s been sneaky about it and wants to have the final say) it wouldn’t matter if I had something similar before because this time it would be from him. So I asked him at the very least if he truly likes the solitaire + eternity band combo, please do not get me a round solitaire and he did agree to that. We also both really liked a princess solitaire + eternity band look. He told me to “trust him” so I will just have to do that.
But I can’t help thinking, would it be totally crazy to get another solitaire? Even if it is a different shape, will the fact alone that it’s a solitaire be too close of a reminder of the ring I had for such a short time? I’ve tried on so many rings that they all start to look the same after a while, but I know I generally don’t care for micropave or anything too detailed (no offence to those that like them; I just prefer simple, clean lines). I’m trying not to be too anal because he doesn’t want me to just pick out my ring and have him buy it. I’m sure I will love whatever he gets.
What do you think? Would it bother you?
Edited to add that I’m not even sure that he WILL get me a solitaire as he’s been talking to my friends about other styles too, like a 3 stone ring.
Post # 3
I think that a princess cut solitaire with an eternity band is different enough from a round solitaire, that it wouldn’t bother me one bit! I think every woman has a ring style that she adores, and why let a bad man ruin your favorite style?
Of course I may be biased, having a princess solitaire and planning on getting an eternity wedding band 🙂
Post # 4
To be honest, it really wouldn’t bother me too much, unless the new boyfriend had seen a picture of the old ring and decided “LadyElva liked that ring! I’m gonna get her another one of them.” If the new guy liked the style independently of the the old ring, it would be fine with me.
Also, I remember your post about the CZ ring – I’m glad you got a happy ending! 🙂
Post # 5
@LadyElva: He didn’t realize that’s what I had before, so yes, he did like it independently.
Edited to add, that I never did marry my ex so I never did have the solitaire + eternity combo, just the first part!
Post # 6
I can’t imagine letting that bother me at all, especially since you only wore the CZ for three weeks. Even if it were the same exact shape and setting it wouldn’t even bother me IF it was a classic, timeless, style and nothing unique to the ex Boyfriend or Best Friend.
Post # 7
My ex husband got me a round diamond and my DH got me a princess cut just so it would be different (but my Darling Husband really does like the princess shape better)…so yeah it would bother me some if they were both rounds because I would be comparing the two rings in my head all the time. That being said, my Darling Husband intentionally bought me a bigger diamond than my first husband…lol so…really… it matterd to him too. As far as getting a solitaire with eturnity band combo or not…there are so many different styles of eturnity bands out there that can make a set look different if you wanted it to.
Post # 8
Changing the solitaire stone’s shape will make it look drastically different because a solitaire is made to show off that center stone, so it’s all about that shape!. If you were changing from a round to a cushion, but with a halo and lots of bling, that difference would be very, very small.
You are lucky! Liking a solitaire means that changing the centre stone will give you a very different look.
But if you are still worried, what about changing the wedding band slightly?
Post # 9
Thank you ladies! I feel better now! The last picture that Tickles posted really shows how different that combo can look!
Did you just google those images? I am really digging that band on the bottom picture!
Post # 10
Having a similar ring is okay, IMO. I know that even if SO and I break up, I wil still love certain styles of rings: oval sapphire halos, diamond solitaires, Celtic designs. Honestly, there are so few rings I could picture wearing forever that if we ever did break up, I probably would still want the same style of ring. So no, I don’t personally think it’s wierd, and I think the two rings you’ve described are different enough that it wouldn’t really matter. However, it is a personal choice, and something you and your current SO must decide on for yourselves.
Post # 11
@SnowInApril: I did just google but the image led me to this post on Pricescope from 2008: http://www.pricescope.com/forum/show-me-the-ring/princess-cut-solitares-w-diamond-bands-t100616.html
It seems to be from Blue Nile but when I looked on their website I didn’t see it. However, the user on Pricescope still seems to be an active one so if you messaged her I’m sure she’d tell you the style number etc. Those girls love to talk diamonds!
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
I wouldn’t worry about it! I remember your posts about your previous Fiance, and I think you’re well in your rights to just pick what you like and forget about him.
I’m glad things are working out well for you! I read your other post about gemstone rings, and I’m really pleased to see you managed to get your Grandma’s diamond back as well from your ex!
Post # 13
yay! I am happy things have worked out for you:) get what you like, Dont let the old relationship/ring affect your desicion.:)
Post # 14
Solitaires are the most classic, versatile style, plus you didn’t have an eternity ring in your last relationship. Don’t worry too much about it, get what you love.
Post # 15
It depends on how negative I feel about the memory.
There was (is) a ring in the family, a beautiful ring. I didn’t want this ring, or anything that looked like it, despite finding it very beautiful. I know the history behind that ring, and it disgusts me (the woman was cheating on her husband while still wearing it), and I didn’t want the ring that symbolizes my engagement to have anything to do with it.
I haven’t really broken up with exes on a sour note, so things that remind me of them don’t bring up negative emotions. Then again, I haven’t had anything similar to the experience you described. It very well might have significant negative emotions attached to the memory, in which case, I’d choose another style I like that doesn’t remind me of it.
Post # 16
@SnowInApril: In my opinion, a round solitaire looks nothing like a princess soliatire. The two are entirely different so, to answer your question, nope…it would not bother me in the slightest.