Post # 1
Let’s say your wedding isn’t for another 20+ months, and you were considering going over to the courthouse and getting married much sooner, but were still planning for the wedding at the later date to renew your vows, as I know many couples do nowadays.
Would it mean as much to you the “second” time around?
FI and I are toying with this idea, and part of us would really like to get married sooner rather than later, and then have our big friends and family wedding/vow renewal when we originally planned in 2012 (we also paid the deposit on the venue already, so we’re tied into that date regardless). I’m pretty sure that I would still find the latter wedding just as meaningful since we could share our love with those we love, but FI has said that it just wouldn’t mean as much the second time, and maybe he’s right. Thoughts?
Post # 3
I don’t think so since vows don’t expire. Everyone has to decide what works for them.
Post # 4
I refused to get married until I could do it “right” by my standards. My fiance wanted to go to the JP numerous times, but I said no! I’m only getting married once. I want a nice church wedding.
But It’s whatever the couple want.
Post # 5
For me, no. I wanted one wedding and one wedding only. But everybody is different.
Post # 6
Nope. Our courthouse ceremony is our wedding. You wouldn’t believe how many people have been asking me, “So when are you having the REAL wedding?” EXCUSE ME?
We bumped our date up for a number of reasons–my thyroid’s not doing so well right now and I need to see a doctor but have no insurance. Also, my grandma’s health isn’t great, and we want her to be with us to celebrate our marriage.
We are, however, having a small reception the day after our wedding for immediate family only, but a bigger reception for his extended family and our friends (as well as my family) on 11.11.11, since we’ve already booked the venue. Just something informal and fun.
Post # 7
For me, it would only mean as much if we were getting married early for what I see as a really valid reason – i.e., one of us needed it for insurance to deal with an illness, etc.
Post # 8
If it were me, yes…..
I know many couples who have to do a courthouse ceremony for immigration purposes. ALL of them have told me that the “wedding” or “vow renewal” was just as meaningful, if not more meaningful, than the day they were at the court.
Post # 9
Can you just change the date of the venue to earlier without loosing your deposit? It would seem -since you booked a 2012 date, you should certainly be able to move it up-I would think. I looked at your inspiration board and it looks like you could do your casual reception pretty inexpensively if money is the issue for sooner. If I were you, I would look into having the whole thing sooner! 🙂
Post # 10
Is there any reason you want to move the date up? If it were me (and everyone is different) I would just wait. I don’t think there’s much that would convince me to head to the courthouse early when I knew I was getting married in the next year and a half or so. You could definitely try to change your date if you really wanted to move things up, but I would just stick with the original plan…. it doesn’t hurt to wait!
Post # 11
I am doing this exact thing and I have no regrets. I am getting married on Oct. 23, but we are doing a vow renewal in March. My little brother is currently in Afghanistan and my FI’s mother is undergoing chemo for breast cancer, so waiting until March until things calm down is our best option for a big wedding. However, we are currently buying a house and for other financial reasons, it just makes sense to get married now. Sooooo I am pretty much getting the best of both worlds and I LOVE It!! We were going to do a courthouse wedding first, but my MIL wanted to throw us a simple ceremony and reception with just immediate family at their home, so we are going to do that. And it gave me an excuse to buy another dress (this one short and a bit more appropriate for a civil ceremony.)
I would FULLY recommend doing it. I am excited because our second wedding will be a great way to celebrate being newlyweds and I really think it will prolonge that feeling of being a newlywed and the wedding-planning process.
I totally say GO FOR IT!! But ultimately, do what is best for YOU!
Post # 12
@Statutory Grape: I like your ideas about receptions for family so they can celebrate with you. I hope your thyroid issue gets better 🙁
@creativeplannertobee: The main reason we picked such a far off date was due to money, as you saw. Our venue is (surprisingly) strict about changing dates, so we are locked in for that date unless we forfeit the deposit.
@staceynrick: Moving the date up would just be for us; there’s no ‘real’ or ‘official’ reason why we would need to. The more I think about it and discuss it with my FH, the more I know I will still love what we originally planned and will just have all the more time to make it perfect 🙂
@SamanthaSadlier: Your plan sounds like a great one, definitely along the lines of what I was thinking.
A lot of it has to do with priorities changing and not really wanting to spend all that much money on a wedding when, as creativeplannertobee mentioned, we really could do it for a relatively cheap budget.
Regardless, I appreciate all of your opinions and reasoning!
Post # 13
somewhere on the hive i found a post by a bee who did her wedding at the courthouse… they spent something like $2000 for EVERYTHING if i find it again i’ll be sure to send you a link. but i think you need to do what’s right for you. we’ve tossed around the idea of going to the courthouse… SO and I both think it would be great, but we also know our families would be super disappointed to not be a part of our big day.