(Closed) Would it upset you if your FMIL took it upon herself to send out pictures?

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: Did she cross the line?
    Yes : (36 votes)
    57 %
    No : (16 votes)
    25 %
    Maybe? : (11 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1315 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Ouch. You need to put manners on your man! YOUR feelings are hurt! He’s jumped ship, your feelings have to come first now.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Wierd. How did they get those pics? If its from the photographer’s website, maybe you could ask them to take out certain ones, or lock them so no one could “take them” from his site. Or, maybe you could make a cd of pics that you like so she could give out those pics.

    Post # 6
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Very rude, and very strange.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I was going to say I don’t think she should have done that & should have asked. However, since you gave her the cd, maybe she figured she was free to use it however? What’s done is done… I’d probaly say “the cd I gave you before is for safekeeping, I’ve made a new cd that Mr Bamboo & I went thru & took out the ones we didn’t like how they looked. Feel free to use this new cd to display /print from, but please don’t use the old cd”. Then, she can still pass out pics to family that are approved by you & your husband :).

    I know my husband’s mom wants to print wedding pics & pass them out to friends/family. They just love doing that stuff. I think its sweet, but I’m going to give her a cd of just the pics we liked of ourselves.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8354 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I wouldn’t be upset. It would have been nice if she let you know which one she wanted to send out, but I think she is just excited and proud of her new family member and wants to show you off.

    Post # 9
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m sure she meant well.  But I would be very annoyed.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1315 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    But Noritake, read the rest of the op. The MIL also sent out a specially taken pic of all the women in the family, in a group, except the Bride. On the wedding day. Rude.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Well I get why your upset. I’d be upset if a “bad” picture of me got sent to everyone too. I think your husband needs to tell her not to do it without running the picture by everyone involved first in the future.

    Also you could go ahead and send out a good one of you two now.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think noritake22 was trying to make the OP feel bad at all. I also think the mom just got excited about the pictures too. Usually, the people in the pics are the most critical of themselves. There’s photos where I look wierd & my husband says its a “good pic” but there’s also pics of him I like & he thinks he looks wierd. We don’t use those, but everyone’s opinion of a “good photo” is gonna be different. Maybe she didn’t catch the last part.

    I couldn’t imagine a photographer taking a wedding family pic without the bride or groom in the photo (unless that’s what they wanted). I could see her sending out the pic of the two of you as a compliment & it likely was… but the “women only” without you in it is kinda odd & insulting.

    Post # 14
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2004

    One way to potentially address this is through printing rights. Most printing rights granted by photographers are technically for the person who purchased those rights/images ONLY, meaning your MIL printing/mailing the images is likely in breach of your contract.

    You could, perhaps, mention that you really like your photographer and would like to work with him/her in the future, and ask that she please not do that again with any images.

    (And, on a personal note, I’m sorry–I completely understand your being upset!)

    Post # 15
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would be upset too.  My MIL sent out pictures of me in my wedding dress in the store BEFORE our wedding.  Sometimes they just don’t think to ask if it’s ok. Moms feel like it’s their right to show off their kids and do what they want and cross boundaries with their adult children. 

    You really just need to talk to her WITH YOUR HUSBAND.  I’m not about sending my man off to do the dirty work because it’s his mom, the only way she will start to respect me and my boundaries and US is if we put up a united front and I defend my needs. 

    Good luck! 

    Post # 16
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Watch out for you DH not being willing to set boundaries with his mom. It’s only going to get harder once you two start a family…

    The topic ‘Would it upset you if your FMIL took it upon herself to send out pictures?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors