Post # 1
I remember this question being asked on SATC and have recently given this some thought. If the guy that wants to marry you can not manage to buy an e-ring that “is you” what does that say, if anything about the relationship? Would the right guy buy the wrong ring?
Post # 3
Of course, especially if he didn’t know much about jewelry or didn’t have a strong sense of style to recognize what elements make a ring “you” or not.
Post # 4
Some guys just arent good at picking gifts in general. My mom used to buy me a gold watch every year and I hate gold and I dont wear watches and I tell her this every year!!! That doesnt make her the wrong mom
Post # 5
My right guy bought the perfect ring, but he’d still be the right guy if he showed up with the original Aidan ring Miranda helped pick out.
Post # 6
I told my husband to pick up an icy for me on his way home and when he asked what flavor I said ‘oh, I don’t care, just choose one’. There’s not many flavors I don’t like but he found one. We still are in a happy marriage despite the icy mishap.
Post # 7
I don’t think it says anything. But, if my FH picked out a ring 100% on his own without asking any input from me and planned an elaborate surprise proposal, I would take it to mean that he doesn’t know me very well. That might give me some pause.
Post # 8
@troubled: That is hilarious!
Post # 9
My right guy DID buy the wrong ring. It’s beautiful and I love it, but it doesn’t make a very good engagement ring: it doesn’t have a main stone like in all the pictures I showed him of ones I liked, and it’s very oddly shaped, which means finding a band to match it is close to impossible. Though it’s a very pretty ring and I wear it proudly, it probably wasn’t the right engagement ring for me. The right right hand ring, maybe, but not engagement ring. FI now says that if he had thought about how difficult it would be to find a matching wedding band for this ring, he probably wouldn’t have gotten it.
That being said, he’s without a doubt the right man for me. The “wrong” e-ring never even gave me pause.
Post # 10
@troubled: That’s a good one. My sister had a similar incident with her husband. He went to Baskin-Robbins to get them ice cream cones. He asked her what flavor she wanted and she told him that she didn’t know all the flavors they had. so she asked him just to pick something he thought she’d like. He came back with vanilla. That was nearly ten years ago and he has not lived it down yet….but they are still happily married. I can still hear her saying, “Vanilla? VANILLA? You had THIRTY-THREE flavors to choose from and you bring me vanilla?”
My husband knows me WELL. He can predict how I will react in almost any situation….but picking an engagement ring I’d wear the rest of my life intimidated him. He picked a plain solitaire to propose with and then we picked the setting together. I think picking a ring for someone else, no matter how well you know them, is difficult without very specific guidance. I know even picking my own ring out was hard…if I wasn’t sure what I wanted, how could I expect that he would?
Post # 11
I honestly think what it says about the relationship in general is that communication is lacking. My FI and I picked out a ring together after the proposal, but even if we hadn’t, since we had been talking about marriage/engagement for a while I made sure to show him the kind of rings/styles I liked so he would know. Honestly, I think it’s better off for most couples if they shop together. You can still have an amazing, romantic and even traditional proposal if you know what the ring looks like (and it’ll be less stressful, too, because you won’t be worried about disliking what he picked). Or you can go our route and buy the ring after 🙂
Post # 12
I worried a little about whether my fiance would know me well enough to pick out the perfect ring. Sometimes he amazes me with what he will ask me. I usually respond with “have we met?” We’re together almost 7 years, so I hoped he’d get it right. He certainly was given enough to go on. He got me a beautiful ring, even bigger than I expected, and I got a wonderful romantic proposal. So all is well.
Post # 13
My FI (smart man) didnt want to buy “THE RING” without my final ok as it is a big investment which I will wear for the rest of my life and he didn’t want to get it wrong. So, he got a “stand-in” ring to propose with. He knew what I wanted for a stand-in–he even had pictures. Which he took to the jewelry store, where he was told by the salesperson that I would like something else better…and since she is a woman, and he figured she wouldn’t sell him something less expensive than what he came in to purchase for any reason other than her own professional knowledge, he bought what she said I would like better. Which I didn’t, indeed, like better.
I freaked out about it, thinking that it meant that he didn’t know me. I broke down crying and feared I was making a huge mistake…at which time he explained that it was the metal I like, the stone I like, and told me about the salesperson’s input and I realized that he indeed did know me very well, and went to a lot of trouble to pick out the stand-in. He just doesn’t understand that things like cut of stone make all of the difference in the world.
Post # 14
I think if you get any ring at all then its the right ring. I think its natural to show pictures to him of what you like and if he got me something way off I’m not sure what I would say. But I would still think he was the right guy.
Post # 15
If the guy that wants to marry you can not manage to buy an e-ring that “is you” what does that say, if anything about the relationship? Would the right guy buy the wrong ring?
oh please. if I based my opinion of our relationship on non-essential things my man chooses, we’ve got a much bigger problem!
so many men don’t know how to pick pretty things. or they have good taste, but it’s not necessarily your taste! if you think the “wrong” ring is a dark mark on your relationship, then you need to step back and evaluate your own materialistic attitude.
if you don’t like your ring and really must change it, break it to him gently! if you love your ring, yay for you, you got lucky!
Post # 16
Um, I don’t think guys value rings or clothes, or anything that women love… so no I don’t think you can judge if he’s the “one” by what ring he buys you. No matter how hard they try, they are going to mess up at some point when it comes to fashion. And women tend to be picky about things like rings, etc. Your guy can know you very intimately, through and through, and would still have a hard time picking out the “perfect” ring, or a cute dress, or whatever. I don’t think it’s fair to say no to an engagement because the ring isn’t you, and to assume that means he doesn’t really know you.