Would this annoy you? &laquo; Weddingbee Boards

Add New »

more by ams12

Would this annoy you?

posted 11 months ago in Babies

459 posts

Helper bee

ams12 November 28, 2010

I announced my pregnancy to my friends today via an announcement email. My one friend responds with, "Is that why you forget my 30th birthday". Now I am pretty annoyed, because of a few things. Am I friendly with her, yes, but we aren't best buds, and I don't even know when her birthday is! We maybe see each other 1-2 times a year. We met 5 years ago through work, and like I said we were friendly but not best buds and we talk maybe 1 time every few months via email. She did invite me to her wedding 5 years ago after only meeting a few months before it, and when I got married a year ago I invited her since I felt obligated to. When DH and I have a BBQ or gatherings we will send out email blast to all our peeps inviting them. Her and her DH came to one last year, that was also on my DH birthday, but we didn't label a bday party or anything. She showed up with a pretty expensive gift for him which made us feel really uncomfortable. At 30 I haven't done gifts with friends in YEARS. I've always put much more space between us than she does because she is very intense and expects the moon from people. On a few occasions she has invited DH and I out with her family, and when we can't go, she flips a lid and get's really snarky with me and that has always annoyed me. My last birthday I got a card from her which was nice but she again included a $75 gift card! What? I was super uncomfortable, I mean I obviously thanked her and sent her a thank you it just made me feel really uncomfortable as like I said I haven't done gifts in years, and I really don't know how she knows and remembers my birthday. I know it makes me feel guilty too when she does that but her comment really offended me when I announced my news. I haven't responded as I don't know what to respond with.

Am I bad person!?

11 months ago

Member

348 posts

Helper bee

MissMedic October 2012 MA

That is kind of awkward...Personally, I would find this incredibly uncomfortable and annoying and kind of slowly phase out of being friends with her. It's weird that she does expensive gifts and stuff....it's not difficult to know people's birthdays because of facebook now, but that's just weird.

As far as the pregnancy announcement response of, "What, you forgot my birthday?!", I would just ignore it, don't respond and start phasing her out of your collective e-mails, group invites, etc.

Sorry if this isn't very helpful, it's just what I would do if I were in that situation.

And, most importantly, CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy!

11 months ago

Member

594 posts

Busy bee

BirdofaFeather April 10, 2010 San Diego, CA

first off, congrats!

second, i probably would write back and say, oh my! it must have been the baby brain! hope you had a wonderful birthday!

the end.

11 months ago

Member

5,233 posts

Bee Keeper

amnystik April 9, 2011 Texas

I forget everyone's bday! lol Infact I left my moms house the other day, the day before her bday, and totally freaked b/c I had forgotten it was coming up and thought that I had just walked in talked to her and totally forgot to tell her happy bday... thankful I didn't miss it. lol

What I don't understand though is why was she included in the "We're pregnant" email if ya'll aren't that close?

idk I think that as long as she's included in those she's likely to think you're closer than you think ya'll are and then she'll probably continue in her expectancy.

Oh and as far as responding.. if you don't know when her bday is then that's how I would respond... OMGosh I'm sorry I didn't even know it was your bday... I mean she's already not happy, how much worse could it get.. lol

And congratualtions!!!!!!! Happy pregnancy!!!!!!!!!

11 months ago

Member

682 posts

Busy bee

sparkle November 2009

Wow - I feel like when someone announces a pregnancy the correct response is "Congratulations!" or something along those lines. That's a really immature response from your friend! I get that 30th birthdays are a milestone but so is a pregnancy! Pregnancy annoucement trumps acquitance's 30th birthday!

11 months ago

Member

4,485 posts

Honey bee

TheFutureMcBride August 2010 Virginia

@amnystik: "What I don't understand though is why was she included in the "We're pregnant" email if ya'll aren't that close?" Exactly what I was thinking.

11 months ago

Member

37 posts

Newbee

RoseTyler July 1, 2011

I'd be irritated with her behavior too, but what I'm wondering is... why haven't you already distanced yourself from her? Why invite her to BBQs or other gatherings, why send her an e-mail pregnancy announcement?

11 months ago

Member

5,824 posts

Bee Keeper

crayfish September 11, 2010 Berkeley, CA

Sounds like you are using an awful lot of energy on someone you don't even really know super well. Seems like a waste to me! Put all that focus on your future beautiful baby and be done with it!

11 months ago

Member

330 posts

Helper bee

nonoame October 2010

Yes i would be annoyed!!Especially since I grew up in a large family and birthdays consisted of who got their plate first at dinner.

I have a friend like that, where she does everything right and criticizes everyone that doesn't live up to her bday, thank you card, crafty ways. You just said you were pregnant... and that was her response? Yes I would be annoyed.

11 months ago

10.

Member

710 posts

Busy bee

harmonyeee May 8, 2009

yeah...that's super weird and i would be annoyed too! she should know better. sounds like she is oddly bitter about the two of you not being closer...good thing you only see her every once in awhile. try not to let it bug you too much, and if you choose to include her in any future announcements or celebrations, expect a weirdo response from her so that it doesn't catch you off guard. some people just have no home training!

11 months ago