Would this annoy you?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yes.

Post # 3
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Uh yes that would definitely bother me! He lied to you so you wouldn’t go with him, you need to sit him down and tell him what the other couple told you, that you know he deceived you and how it makes you feel.

Post # 4
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

weatherbug:  Absolutely.

As much as I understand there are night that are “guys” night– if my husband didn’t want me to attend a formal event where the invite was extended to me- just because the other gf’s/wives weren’t attending– I would not be OK with that.  I would expect that he would want me to be there– as his wife AND his friend.  

I’d also be pissed if I found that “the wives just showed up at the last minute”??  Like what- are all the other wives friends and they planned just showing up at the last minute? 

My husband’s in a bowling league, and a couple times one of the other guy’s gf’s or a wife will show up to hang and have a beer- the only time I’ve gone was the week after our wedding.  We didn’t go ona honeymoon, but spent the whole week together.  I just went with and had a few drinks and then we all went and had drinks somewhere else!  I also know that technically, I could show up any night at bowling and he’d have no qualms!!

 

Post # 5
Member
6592 posts
Bee Keeper

That sounds a little shady. Any other suspicious activity?

Post # 7
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This would totally annoy me!

Post # 10
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yes. But to be honest, I’d be more hurt than annoyed. 

Post # 11
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

weatherbug:  If it’s just a guys thing, then why make it formal? It seems weird that it’s a formal event, but couples aren’t attending… I just find it strange that a bunch of dudes want to hangout in tuxedos by themselves…?

Post # 12
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

weatherbug:  Wow… Yes…. There would be a shitstorm in the household if I was treated like that.

I think you should have a heart to heart with your husband, tell him how that makes you feel. Good Luck!

Post # 13
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If it’s an alimni or frat/sorority thing only I could understand (would still be annoyed). Sometimes frat stuff is like that. 

Post # 14
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hmmm, I think this is a tough one.  How well do you know his frat friends?  Maybe he is concerned that the other wives won’t be there and he’ll have to “babysit” you.   I’ve brought my FI along to events where he hasn’t known anyone, but I’m lucky that he has great social skills and makes friends without me having to do introductions all night.  I’ve taken out past boyfriends before who have hung off me all night and felt left out if we talked about stuff that they couldn’t relate to which is a bit annoying if you just want to catch up with old buddies and talk about old times. 

As far as the other time when wives came out of the blue, that’s happened to me before when FI organised a boys weekend away camping with his male friends and family members.  I of course didn’t go and was happy not to even though it was a major holiday, however a bunch of the wives girlfriends and KIDS decided last minute to go!  i was so pissed and felt excluded, but I spoke to the girls and they genuinely did decide to go last minute (and they weren’t invited, they just didn’t want their other halfs to have a weekend without them much to the annoyance of the guys).  If these wives are friends with each other then it is possible they did that.

If this is a pretty isolated event and he often takes you places with him then I would let it go.

Post # 15
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If you’ve been invited to attend, then you can attend. So what if his buddies’ wives/girlfriends aren’t there? You’ll meet other people! He can still hang out with the guys for most of the time, it’s not like you’ll cling to him the entire evening. Why doesn’t he want you there as his wife and friend, period? I understand having guys’ night, but this is starting to seem like a pattern… I think you need to have an honest talk with him. 

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