Post # 1
Ive had baby fever for awhile now, trying to ignore it but it’s been hard with a new nephew and the newfeed full of pregnancy annoucements. FI and I talked about it again yesterday. Earlier we had agreed to start TTC August 2015 so the baby would be due after I finish my master’s program which is a long time but managable. So yesterday he said anytime after we’re married is fine, he’ll be happy, etc. We bought a house, he has a good paying very flexible full time job and the ability to work at home on the farm whenever he wants for more pay, have a large savings for our way of life, and save about 3K each month. If we started TTC August 2014 the baby would be due early summerish, I’d have summer off my master’s program then start classes and work again in the fall. I think I’d have much more flexibility being in school instead of working full time and my mom has offered to babysit full time but we also have a daycare across the street if needed. My only concern is getting my school work done at night with a baby up all night if that were the case. If we didn’t conceive where the baby would be due in summer we’d wait until the next year so I wouldn’t have it during the school year.
If we waited until August 2015, I’d graduate, have the baby sometime then start my first real job 2-3 months after having it. Financially it may be better, but could be more stressful. A lot of people say to enjoy married life which I’m taking into account but we already live together and have travelled together so idk. I know theres never a right time to have a baby, just trying to decide what would be better. I don’t want to rush into anything without thinking everything through. We both feel comfortably and ready to have a baby and everyone knows we want one. Since I’ve never been pregnant I don’t know what is more doable. If anyone has any advice or insight I’d appreciate it!
Post # 3
I had kids when I was in school and as long as you are good about time management, and you have your finances down, it’s easily do-able. Some people used to tell me “I don’t see how you can do it” but you do it because you have to, you know?
Just based on the things you said it might be best to try to start TTC August 2014. You’d have three months off to be with the baby and going to school is hard, but its not the same as working 40 hours a week hard. It’s just different set of skills and management. There’s just as much work its usually just bits and pieces here and there.
My concern would be if you had a baby when you were graduating, you put off getting a job and you’d be less likely to get one at a later time (though I don’t know what your degree is in). If they don’t know about your baby then there may be an impression that no one would hire you or who knows what – and some people are reluctant to hire new mums as they may need more time off etc.
So not knowing you or your situation, that would be my suggestion> 🙂
Post # 4
I would try this summer! And if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. But I had CRAZY baby fever. And if you can afford the baby and handle it when it arrives, I say go for it!
Post # 5
@habibti: I’m glad to know it’s possible! I am concerned about interviewing 9 mths pregnant or few weeks after their born. My degrees in Speech Pathology so there are opportunities it’d just be a challenge jumping into a career with the added stress of a baby.
@BrandNewBride: Thanks! I’m trying to have this motto that whatever happens, happens. I just want to make sure I’ve got everything figured out before we start and realize we should have waited! Baby fevers the worst lol
Post # 6
Depending wher eyou wanted to work with Speech Pathology it may be more do-able. If you were in a school, for example, you would be fine, as you’d have the summer off anyway.
I know no one is supposed to discriminate against pregnant or new mums but you are old enough to know that things like that happen all the time.
I had my two oldest when I was young and stupid and finished school while I was single. Now I’m finishing my Masters too (I graduate in May!) so I took some time off, but I’m glad I’m doing it.
Yes as long as you can multi-task it should be fine.
Post # 7
@MrsN14: I’m an SLP too! Its a great job for moms, very flexible! I can tell you that when I was in grad school several women had babies and they made it through. Our teachers were willing to work with them if needed. I didn’t meet my husband until I was in grad school so we married and had our daughter after so I can’t offer any advice there. Right now I’m mostly a SAHM but do see private clients on the side. I was planning to go back to my previous job (part time though not full time until my kids are in school full time) and now I’m pregnant with #2 so I’m going to stick with my private clients, stay current on continuing ed and ASHA requirements and go back in about 18 months. Good luck with whatever you decide!
Post # 8
@Ballet513: It’s good to hear from another SLP! I know it depends on the school, but would you say grad school was a lot more stressful than undergrad? I’m graduating a year early from undergrad and it’s been a breeze, I just don’t want to underestimate how stressful grad school will be, especially with patients and everything. Thanks!
Post # 9
@MrsN14: Not an SLP here, but I have a friend who is one, and I agree with you that school will probably be a bit less stressful than when you are working to have a newborn at home especially since you have help from your mother right now. My friend said that she has to learn a lot of things on the job, and she is pretty drained at the end of the day. Obviously school was hard, but she is having a harder time of working in the field right now than she was with keeping up with the studying.
Post # 10
@MrsN14: I’m not a mom but have been trying for a while. I’m also sure I’m WAY older than you so this is just my advice. School is important…it is what YOU do to make yourself better!
However, there is NO real great, ideal time to have a baby. There will always be something you “think” is more important…more trips, nicer house, new car, money in the bank.
I 100% think that having a child while in school can be done. My mom did it with 2 kids and while in her mid-30s. It was just that important to her. As long as it’s important to you, you will find a way!
Post # 11
@MrsN14: I see you’re in Illinois and I’m in New York so I’m not sure how different the programs are but I can tell you it wasn’t that bad. Everyone makes a HUGE deal ab how hard grad school is. It was difficult for sure but certainly not impossible. My program was a 2 year program and the first year we did clinic on site at school and only had a couple of clients plus I had class everyday. We needed to keep a 3.5 to stay in the program so a lot of study time also. My second year was harder because of full time internships. My first semester I had a child placement so I went to a school M-Th 8-3:30 to shadow the SLP then then eventually take over so that included lesson planning, grading, progress reports etc. Then I had class 3 night a week I think for around 3 hours. I think that would have been a tough semester if I had a baby. I got so many hours during my child placement that I didn’t need as many in my adult placement the following semester so I did 3 days a week at a hospital and still had class 3 nights a week. How old are you? Is your wedding date correct? When is your graduation from grad school date, spring 2016? See what your internship schedule is like at your school and then decide about the baby. It could be hard if you were interning and then going to class at night if you had a new baby at home. Whatever ends up happening though it will work out I’m sure.