Post # 1
Alright, I’m not even sure this is really “etiquette” but this is the only board that really seemed fitting.
Some back story, my father passed away from cancer ten years ago so he can obviously not walk me down the aisle. As if this isn’t hard enough for me (because I was a daddy’s girl), I asked one of my older brothers if he would do it…he said he didn’t know if he would be able to because he is moving and will most likely have a new job by the time the wedding comes around in May. He said he has no idea if he’ll be able to get it off from work to even come to the wedding. So basically, he said no. I have another older brother but he has some mental disablities. Nothing too big of a deal, but he would be asking me a million little questions over and over again on the day off…i really do not need that stress added on to my day. My mother hasn’t really been a huge supporter of the wedding because i am young, so I feel as if asking her is just not an option. Also, she walked my sister down the aisle and right before she was about to go down the aisle my mother looks at her and says “you don’t have to go through with this” I do NOT want to hear that on one of the most important and happy days of my life.
I’m basically out of ideas. My FH says that his dad would walk me down the aisle…but i’m scared it would piss my mom off. Also, he has a younger sister who is not yet married. She is a bridesmaid and has given me the total OK if I want her dad to walk me down the aisle.
I guess i am just lost on what i should do…
any advice would be lovely!
Post # 3
Walk down by yourself. Carry a picture of your dad in your bouquet. My SIL did this and was very happy she made that decision.
Post # 4
You could just walk down yourself. Or maybe you have an uncle or grandfather you may be close too?
In my opinion, I would NOT have your FIs father walk you down. As a guest, I would wonder what sort of tension there was between you and your mom and I think that will take away from the specialness of your day.
Post # 5
I think you should do whatever you feel best, though I kind of wonder how your Future Father-In-Law fits into the symbolism of “giving you away”…no one will judge you for your choice, and I think you should go with what will make you most at ease. Have you considered simply walking yourself down the aisle?
Post # 7
I agree with the pp. You can totally walk down by yourself! Carrying a picture of your dad would be a great way to honor him.
Post # 8
Walk down by yourself, I agree with PPs that having your Future Father-In-Law walk you down might seem a bit awkward to the guests.
Post # 9
I think having your Future Father-In-Law would be fine – but I would mention it to your mom first. That would be a sweet way to show how much you appreciate him.
Have you thought about just taking the trek by yourself? You can just have the officiant skip the part that says “who gives away this woman?”.
Do what feels right.
Post # 10
I plan on have a picture of him on my bouquet.
The issue with walking by myself is i HATE all eyes on me. I know i know, why have a wedding then…why because i want to lol it’s special and something i always dreamed of. but i dreamed of my daddy being there also.
I could barely stand up and give a speech to a class of 30 people, there is no way i can walk alone infront of over 50 people all staring at me. 🙁
Both of my grandfathers have passed away. and as far as uncles, one lives in cali and won’t be able to make it back and the other has a daughter who is not married and i know she would not be understand of it.
Post # 11
I think you should do whatever you feel right with, but agree with PPs, you can walk down by yourself. You don’t NEED someone to walk you down!
Another option is for you and your fiance to walk down the aisle together. My brother and SIL did this, as did my cousin, and I thought it was great. Both sets had also been building a life together beforehand, but I thought it was great. That said, I will be going the more traditional route. There are just so many options here!
Post # 12
If you don’t like all eyes on you, walk half way down and have your Fiance meet you there?
Post # 13
You could maybe borrow a Greek Orthodox tradition and walk with Darling Husband to the front. When I got married, my now Darling Husband met me outside the Church, we then, along with the priest walked into the church together – I loved it.
Post # 14
@arsing89: That’s a good idea! Otherwise, maybe ask your other brother, but have someone keep him away until just before you walk down the aisle? Who knows? His questions might be a good distraction for you?
Post # 15
Love the idea of you and your Fiance walking together!
ETA: I walked by myself and I was completely freaked out about it. On the day of, I was so happy and focused on my Darling Husband that I didn’t see anyone else.
Post # 16
I thank all of you for an input you have! keep it comin ladies