Post # 1
Ok, so my dad and grandma are paying for the Rehearsal Dinner. It’s really going to be more of a welcome party with around 40-50 guests. I have estimated the costs and they have already given me the money, so I will be in charge of paying. We are having open bar, but only beer/wine. If guests want liquor, they are more than welcome to start their own tab. If I, technically hosting this event, wanted to get myself a mixed drink, would it look rude?
Post # 3
@swisea01: ooo that’s a trciky one! I wouldn’t say it’s rude per say, but people might notice you have a mixed drink and order one thinking it was included. I think if everyone understands the bar setup then your golden! Or you could just be like me & not care either way- your the bride! you can drink whatever you please!
Post # 4
@BeckyS0: I agree, I think that as long as your guests uderstand that they will have to pay for mixed drinks it will be fine. But unless you go around telling everyone, or have a very obvious sign that states only beer/wine is covered, I think most guests would see you carrying a mixed drink and assume it is included.
Post # 5
@BeckyS0: Well the bartender is supposed to inform anyone who tries to order a mixed drink the situation, but I feel like if they get over there and try to order one, then are told, nope! they will be like ugh, well why does she have one! lol
Post # 6
I’d drink what was included, not try to separate myself from my guests or create guest tiers.
Post # 7
@swisea01: I would skip getting a mixed drink to avoid confusion. It’s just one night. Have the wine like the rest of your guests.
Post # 8
I would either just drink whatever you’re offering your guests, or have one mixed drink (whatever your favorite is) available as part of the open bar.
Post # 9
@MexiPino: I wsa pretty much planning on it, but it seems kinda sad, because if my guests want one, they can pay for one, but if I want to pay for one, then I am setting expectations that it’s free 🙁
Post # 10
Could you make a sign for the bar with what’s included, and then a note about what people can purchase if they want to? I understand the bartender is supposed to tell them that, but it saves both the bar and the guest a bit of discomfort if it’s stated in the open. And then you can drink whatever you want!
Post # 11
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Your best bet on this is to make a “pretty sign(s)” to put on the Bar so your Guests know what is and isn’t included
I for one wouldn’t rely on the Bartender getting it right… which could cause potential embarrassment for your Guests
(Here in Canada, a lot of us have some aspect of a Subsidized or Cash Bar… and there are always signage to that effect)
And yes, it would be “considerate / polite” if you chose to drink off the Complimentary List… shows that you are NOT ABOVE drinking what you are offering your Guests.
Hope this helps,
Post # 12
You are asking if it is rude to help yourself to hospitality that you are not offering your invited guests. Cash bar is not acceptable at any private, hosted event.
Post # 13
Not at all. You’re playing by the same rules as your guests.
Out of consideration,you can make it clear to guests that cocktails are not included on the menu if provided and/or with a sign at the bar.
The staff at your dinner location will help you out by fielding drink orders and eliminating confusion during service. You might touch base with then if it’ll ease your mind.
Post # 14
@swisea01: Oh yes, also please make a sign. I went to a 60th birthday party at a restaurant and only wine was included. The waiters were supposed to tell people that liquor would be on their own but I heard someone order a cocktail at my table and they were not informed. The host ended up paying for about a dozen cocktails because they didn’t know who was told & who wasn’t since it all ended up on the tab!
Post # 15
If you’re paying for the mixed drink just like them it should technically be fine- but people will probably assume you got it as a perk because you’re the host and that’s kind of awkward. It’s also awkward to go up to the bar and be ready to order xx and then be told it’s not covered- and either have to change one’s order or cough up the cash and you walking around with a drink would make that situation more likely for guests.
Agree with PP that you should either stick to wine or make your fav drink the night’s signature drink.
Post # 16
@weddingmaven: I am offering free beer/wine. Almost every person from my wedding will be there, and my wedding is premium open bar, so I don’t think I need to host two weddings, if people can’t last without a mixed drink for two hours, they have a problem.